Jesus Christ, woman, if you want to keep your kids out of the public eye, keep them out of the public eye:

Bristol Palin, arguably the most famous teen mother in America, will make her acting debut playing herself on ABC Family’s “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” the network announced today.

“I am thrilled to be on this show and to be part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the consequences of teen pregnancy,” Palin said in a statement.

Oh, we bet she’s thrilled. Just like any 19-year-old would be, whose mother keeps subjecting her to national ridicule.

Bristol Palin Makes Acting Debut as Teen Mom [ABC, via Raw Story]

Fuck. There goes that punchline.

Navy to Lift Ban on Women Serving Aboard Submarines [ABC]

The actress who played Ellen in the Family Guy episode that Sarah Palin has cynically criticized for personal gain not only talked to the New York Times last week — she also spoke on camera for “The Insider”.

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Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons says he hasn’t had any since 1995.

Governor Jim Gibbons Under Oath [Las Vegas Now, via Political Wire]

Okay, fine. We read it. We looked at how it compares to the House and Senate bills. And, as advertised, Obama’s healthcare “proposal” is pretty much a summary of negotiations that were taking place before the Naked Senator distracted everybody.

And despite our anxiousness to just pass the damn thing and move on, Ezra Klein may have the more perceptive take on the politics involved:

This is not the first time Democrats have waited out a bad political period and then used a combination of televised events, substantive releases, and legislative progress to take back control of the media’s narrative.

As evidence, Ezra cites the healthcare speech after Town Hall Hell, and waiting out the fallout after Senator Douchebag’s Medicare buy-in treachery. His argument is that Obama’s Fightin’ Demrats weren’t being pussies by not fighting back, but strategic.

And y’know? He might be right.

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Just when you thought you’ve had enough of the Connecticut asshole, he comes back with yet another asinine — wait, what?

In an exclusive interview with the Daily News, Lieberman told me that his commitment to repealing DADT is twofold. First, allowing gays to serve openly fulfills the bedrock American promise of providing citizens with “an equal opportunity to do whatever job their talents and sense of purpose and motivations lead them to want to do — including military service.” Second, and no less important for a lawmaker whose commitment to national security the Pentagon can’t doubt, is that “When you artificially limit the pool of people who can enlist then you are diminishing military effectiveness.”

Well, dayum. We’re not taking back Joe’s two Golden Anal Pears for Asshole of the Year, but this certainly complicates his threepeat.

On ‘ask,’ Lieberman answers the call: An exclusive chat about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell [NY Daily News]

Samantha Bell, daughter of suicide pilot Joe Stack, this morning:

“His last actions, the suicide, the catastrophe that caused injuries and death, that was wrong,” Samantha Bell, Stack’s daughter from his first marriage, told “Good Morning America” in a morning television exclusive telephone interview that aired today. “But if nobody comes out and speaks up on behalf of injustice, then nothing will ever be accomplished. But I do not agree with his last action with what he did. But I do agree about the government.”

When “Good Morning America” asked if she considered her father a “hero,” Bell, 38, said, “Yes, because now maybe people will listen.”

Samantha Bell, after the coffee kicked in:

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