You know that moment when you’re just waking up, but your mind hasn’t yet plugged into the Matrix of the reality chosen for us by our Robot Overlords?

Washington refused to endorse British claims to sovereignty over the Falkland Islands yesterday as the diplomatic row over oil drilling in the South Atlantic intensified in London, Buenos Aires and at the UN.

We had one of those today.

US refuses to endorse British sovereignty in Falklands oil dispute [BBC]

We’ve heard it said that Scientology keeps you on the hook by knowing all your dark secrets. And how do they know? You tell them, silly! That’s what you’re doing during all those early sessions when they attach an e-meter to your nuts.

So while the news that Marco Rubio used Florida GOP plastic for personal expenses doesn’t particularly arouse us — unless it arouses Rubio’s fans against him, of course — what caught our attention is how the news came out:

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Left: The new logo of the U.S. Missile Defense Agency.

Middle: The Obama campaign logo.

Right: The Islamic star & crescent.

Below: Matt Drudge’s wet dream.

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We’ve long suspected that Sarah Palin doesn’t write her Facebook posts, since they have little relationship to how she talks or tweets. (Footnotes? Really?) Soon our suspicion will be put to the test, when her chief spokesbot makes a positive difference and fights for all our children’s future from outside the governor’s office quits at the end of the month:

“While I had hoped to work together on so many more projects, time with my precious 2-year-old has been further minimized with the whirlwind commitments of all things Palin,” [Meghan Stapleton] told the SarahPAC staff. “I have done my best to scale back, but Isabella is now resorting to hiding my BlackBerry, and she shouldn’t grow up begging for a mother to start acting like a mother.”

Clearly Meghan needs the time off, because like she says, a whirlwind political life is not in the best interests of a young child. Wait, what?

Top aide to Sarah Palin resigns [Politico]

Dude would be smart to keep his head down, but noooooo…

Barack Obama may not realize it, but I may have just helped save his presidency. How? By winning a drawn-out fight to protect his powers as commander in chief to wage war and keep Americans safe.

No, wait — John Yoo’s cri de merde gets better:

Part of Mr. Obama’s plan included hounding those who developed, approved or carried out Bush policies, despite the enormous pressures of time and circumstance in the months immediately after the September 11 attacks.

We could only hope. But last we checked, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld still walk the earth.

My Gift to the Obama Presidency [John Yoo/WSJ]

Image: indepublica

God, do we get horny when beauty-pageant bimbos go Old Testament on us:

“The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white,” Ashley told Pop Tarts.

“I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

That would be Lauren Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills, who must attend one of the most bloody churches in town.

Miss Beverly Hills Lauren Ashley Opposes Same Sex Marriage [Fox]

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	Think how many more jobs we would have created if we hadn’t blown off $282 billion in tax cuts!
	Medicare for All! Public Option! National Exchange! Whatever!
	Deliver toothless stern warnings to Wall Street!

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