Who’s Up for Animal Sacrifices?

God, do we get horny when beauty-pageant bimbos go Old Testament on us:

“The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white,” Ashley told Pop Tarts.

“I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

That would be Lauren Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills, who must attend one of the most bloody churches in town.

Miss Beverly Hills Lauren Ashley Opposes Same Sex Marriage [Fox]

Hmm. No clothes on her Temple of God, apparently.

I don’t think I ever realized that, thanks to some pronoun ambiguity, you could make the argument that Leviticus also calls for the beard to be sacrificed. Are Mrs. Haggard, Craig, etc. aware of this?

What the hell is in the silicone out there? Part-time sluts get bolt-ons and all hell breaks loose.

Oh, and by the way, she has gay friends. Or perhaps I should say ‘had’ gay friends. And she loves everyone and such as. I imagine she’s gonna have a pretty hard time finding someone to maintain her weave.

She’s now officially on my ‘bitchez I want to audition someday’ list.

The comments are hilarious – you know you’ve gone too far when even the Faux News regulars are smacking you down in *defense* of teh gheyz.

I can’t wait to see how she competes in the pageant while wearing a burqa and not speaking… :)


Heh – hadn’t thought of that. Any bets on her having a “styling mishap” come pageant time?

Ashley told Pop Tarts.

*mental checkout*

How many porn tapes? And with who or what?

My guess is 3, and all with ladies.

I miss the days when beauty queens were meant to be seen and not heard.

@redmanlaw: I hesitate to contemplate how much seed has been spilled on her behalf.

@nojo: Whoops, there goes another one . . .

Girlfriend better put some sunblock on her “Temple of God” or those freckles on her shoulders are going to spread into a Full Lohan.

@nojo: God, or at least the OT version, is not down with that either:

And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. –Genesis 38:8-10

Every sperm is sacred.

@flippin eck: I’ve always taken that passage to mean “Fuck your dead brother’s wife, or God will fuck you.”

@SanFranLefty: Tiger in the Indian Temple – word amongst tribal folks in the know in the PNW is that Tiger Mistress No. 1, Rachel, is a member of the Yakima Nation. She, too, could get free gummit health care.

@flippin eck: But that’s because he wouldn’t get his dead brother’s wife pregnant (Altogethernow – ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww) as was his duty. I know. Who knew the Republicans go back that far?

@ManchuCandidate: Pessimist. I’m thinking double digits and at least one interracial gangbang.

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