What’s Long and Hard and Full of Seamen?

If only they’d watched Operation Petticoat sooner.

Are there showers on a submarine? How does that work?

The “going down” jokes write themselves.

Bad news from AP:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney sustained a “mild heart attack” but is feeling better and likely to leave the hospital within a day or two, an aide said Tuesday.

As my grandmother used to say, “God won’t have him and the devil don’t want him.”

so
wimmen can sleep next to seamen in those tiny little bunks that Sam Nunn made famous back in the 90s when Clinton was trying to lift the ban but faries cant?

@Tommmcatt Say Relax:
Yes. It’s better on the nukes than on the old diesel electrics.

If you ever go to Fisherman’s Wharf in SF Bay, they have a WW2 Sub there. It’s basically a large closet with a drain. It’s actually got better accommodations than the old Soviet one in Long Beach.

And forget privacy.

@ManchuCandidate: But why on earth would anyone go to Fisherman’s Wharf, unless they wanted to go to Hooter’s and stare at pasty large white people from the Midwest? Even the sea lions have abandoned Pier 39 and Fisherman’s Wharf for Oregon.

@SanFranLefty:

I went to Aliotos, once, when I lived there.

@SanFranLefty:
I didn’t know any better. Hung out with the Pelicans and ate overpriced seafood.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Yeah, my relatives insisted on going to Fisherman’s Wharf seven or eight years ago despite my protestations and we wound up having a ridiculously overpriced and over-salted crappy lunch at Alioto’s. My father wouldn’t stop bitching about how expensive it was, my mother wouldn’t stop loudly commenting on the tacky t-shirts being sold across the street and how fat the tourists were, and I nearly jumped out a second floor window screaming “I told you so.” That was the last time I was out there.

@SanFranLefty: But why on earth would anyone go to Fisherman’s Wharf

1. Parents in town.

2. You’re ten, your parents drove you there, and you don’t have much choice in the matter.

If either applies, head for Tarantino’s.

@SanFranLefty:
Well, that’s how I feel about Niagara Falls and the CN Tower.

@SanFranLefty: I’ve declared a moratorium on taking guests to Navy Pier. If they want to see it, they’re on their own.

@SanFranLefty:

I’m still not quite over my visit.

Good bread, though.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: You had to mention the bread. Now I miss the bread. Now I’m hungry.

@nojo:

Hahaha no real sourdough where you are, though.

Come to thinkk of it, no real sourdough where I am, either.

OK. I give up. What?

@Benedick:
Ted Haggards colon

@SanFranLefty: Hey! I loved Fisherman’s Wharf. I even rode a cable car there like a native. German tourists kept taking my picture and asking where was the Castro. I had delicious deep-fried bits o’fish scraps and rode the cable car back. We had a new driver and she couldn’t get it over one of the humps (California?) and it started to slide backwards. No I did not shriek ‘We’re all going to die!’ and cover my eyes. I made sure the children were safe as we caromed backwards at what must have been all of 15 mph.

But on our last day we rode a ferry to an island and ate sand dabs, which were delicious.

@Benedick: I take it that you didn’t name the sand dabs?

@nojo and Tommmcatt Say Relax:

Acme Bread has the best sourdough and best of all, you don’t have to go near the Wharf. And there are Boudin Bakeries in SoCal, not as good as the ones sold here though. Something about the Hetch Hetchy water in Ess Eff makes the bread extra tasty.

@SanFranLefty: There was Georgette and her daughters Phyllis and Trudy. Then there was Sam, Gilbert and Melvin. I don’t think they were related. The OH claims it was one of the best meals we ate in the US ever. Plus there was a man with a dachshund who met the ferry.

@SanFranLefty: I’ve been to the sea lion caves in Florence. If the noise doesn’t knock you down, the smell will.

@Mistress Cynica:

I’ve heard that holy water works. And silver, according to True Blood.

@Dodgerblue: Next time, head a bit north to Cape Perpetua. You’ll thank me later.

@nojo: Been there! Yachatz rocks. So to speak.

@Dodgerblue: Have I mentioned my keychain before? “Yachats: Life in the Fast Lane”.

@nojo: My wife and I stayed here a few miles outside of Yachatz during our road trip down the coast. Great beachwalking/combing, no one else around for miles.

Lefty, this will make your head explode!!!!

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Thanks a lot. Now I have to clean brain splatter off my walls.

@nojo:

Best photo alt text evah, btw.

(golf claps)

The one time I visted SF, I was invited out to see a college buddy of mine who was working in a genuine bucket shop, a hard sell, phone sales precious metals futures trading operation, and he was doing well that month and flew me out. This was right after college, I was maybe 23. I flew out on a Thursday night, and he had to work Friday, so he took me into the city with him, from Benicia, and I had 8 hours to roam while he worked. Somehow, I walked up telegraph hill, the high point was passing the law office of , I forget now, famous criminal defense attorney, my buddy told me to look in the window, I was likely to see him asleep at his desk, and yup, there he was.

I looked around from the top of Telegraph hill, and looking down in fishermans wharf, I decided to head that way, and purely by chance, I went down that famous stairway-street down the cliff, the place that Somerset Maugham’s stories took place on, I didn’t know it, never heard of it, just stumbled across it, and then recognized it when I saw the TV show.

I went on that submarine. Grim, poor dudes, in those things, wow.

Never had any good food in SF, the weekend, we spent in Napa valley doing the tipsy wine tour, and then went to Point Reyes.

Thats all I know of Colley-phonia.

@Dodgerblue, nojo: I been there. Cool place. My old enviro law firm had a retreat south of there in a house we rented.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Well, and if every time they miscarry they will be charged with a crime, why not charge women with a crime every month they menstruate?

/for fuck’s sake…

@Promnight:
Defense attorney = Melvin Belli?
Famous book = Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin?

How did you not have a good meal? You have to try really hard or join the tourists at the one Chili’s in the City to avoid all the good food in Ess Eff.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: So I used to be (way long ago) slightly conflicted about abortion. I mean, in theoretical hyperbological theory, it was like killing someone. Or some thing.

Then, after I got a bit of science into my brain, I realized a baby is really just a proto-human parasite until it’s out of the womb. It’s really crazy the stuff en-womb-tombed babies do to their prospective mothers, fucking with their chemistry, kicking at their internal organs and all.

I truly believe a woman has a right to choose, and that right holds pretty much up to the moment the water breaks.

@Promnight: But Pt. Reyes is pretty fucking awesome, isn’t it? And I’m not just saying that because I had a great acid trip there in 1990.

@Mistress Cynica: Perhaps the earth will belatedly embrace him? If he’s buried within it in a lead coffin covered in platinum? Y’know, something that will decay slowly, giving him plenty of chances to return as a zombie?

@Pedonator:

See, I actually advised a good friend of mine, when she got pregnant by accident, to have the baby and avoid the abortion at all costs. I think a baby is always a good thing, and an abortion is always devastating, no matter the reason behind it. She didn’t take my advice, however, and I was right there to support her through the procedure. I didn’t, and don’t, condemn her for her decision, because it was her body and her right.

I guess what I’m saying is that at a certain point I DO believe the fetus is a human being, but as strongly as I believe that I also believe the rights of the Mother outweigh those of the child. I’m personally against the procedure for many reasons, but I would never force that belief on anyone, and I don’t believe that my perspective-legal, religious, or cultural- should be written into law as the default viewpoint.

The whole “when does life begin” discussion is a red herring- if you enter into that discussion you automatically secede the real point of the abortion debate, which is that a citizen’s person and privacy should be inviolate. It’s a tricky area for me, but if you throw in the fact that women have had abortions for time out of mind (look up “Bitter Water” “Bible” and “Numbers”, for example), and aren’t likely to stop even if it is illegal, common sense demands that abortion remain legal and safe, regardless of one’s opinion of the status of the fetus.