Holy fuck y’all, Cynica was right – Sarah Palin really is the new Eva Peron! Besides the new yumminess about her wardrobe previously covered by Nojo (again, if homofascist could get a rich Republican asshole to sponsor a shopping trip with little supervision, well, the result would be pretty much the same), there is a new story that she may have been using her feminine wiles to wreak havoc on the campaign. Let’s talk about this latest development of implied slut-i-tude after the jump.
So, in case the Earth split open and belched out some sulfurous hellfire around where you live this weekend, or if you were caught wrestling with some fire-breathing wolf demon summoned from the 7th circle around, oh, say 11:15 am CST on Saturday, that would be my fault. Oopsie!!! You see my father was married around that time, in a god damned CATHOLIC church, and your very own homofascist read scripture. Out loud. To churchy people. It was, needless to say, my first time which is a line I am not able to use often. Besides getting my ass kicked at work, I have spent the last three weeks trying to pronounce the word ‘Colossians’ correctly on the first try. You have no idea.
So, as I mentioned earlier, I was able to get a ticket to the Cubs playoff game tonight. Rather than discuss the outcome of the game or how much I paid for the ticket (or how going to bathroom at Wrigley is the most degrading and disgusting experience one can have outside of a prison), I would rather discuss a little politics. Our seats were right below the entrances to the super luxury boxes, which, again, at Wrigley means they have a few lawn chairs, a 12 pack of Old Style and an open toilet pit in the middle of the room. Midway through the second inning I hear a bunch of people start booing, which I thought was odd since the Cubs were doing well at that second. But I look up and who is on the catwalk going into a suite but Mr. Helmet Hair himself, Rod Blagojevich. It was awesome, the crowd booed him the whole time and he just stood there and waved and grinned like an idiot. Which takes balls I guess, although he knows he couldn’t get elected dog catcher at this point so he might as well enjoy the time he has left. And that hair – sweet jesus it was a sight even from 50 feet away.
As advertised, watching Friday night’s glorious victory by John McCain in the first presidential debate was the occasion for the first ever gathering of the Chicago Stinquers chapter: Chicago Bureau, BeRightBack, flippin’ and yours truly homofascist. To be fair, BRB still thought we were Cynics but we were able to set him straight. Er, well, not really straight so much as less gay on the Cynics. Er…well, hopefully you get what I mean.
Also to be fair, ‘watching’ the debate may be a bit of a stretch. After a few dozen cocktails apiece it sort of devolved into yelling at the teevee, laughing at PG, trying to keep track of how many times each candidate said a word ending in -stan so we could take a drink (this rule easily accounted for a fifth of gin at the minimum), searching for another lime, making fun of Cindy McCain’s extentions and assessing which procedures Jim Lehrer could have done to take care of those bags under his eyes. But we had a fabulous time in Chicago Bureau’s deluxe apartment in the sky, and discovered lots of fun things about each other. Revelations, and more photos, after the jump.