Ladies and gentlemen, the Most Rev. Richard J. Malone, Bishop of Portland, Me., bringing the smackdown.

REFERENDUM ALERT TO FAITHFUL CATHOLICS

[subtle, no?  –Ed.]

A group of self-described Catholics who have chosen to dissent publicly from established Catholic doctrine on the nature of marriage as the union of one man and one woman recently published a paid political ad entitled “Statement of Conscience by Maine Catholics Regarding Marriage Equality.”

The evidence for their dissent runs through the statement and is crystallized in the following sentence: “…we find disturbing any suggestion that formal Church teaching obligates all Catholics to oppose marriage equality.”

In contrast, please let your conscience be formed by these clear and authoritative words of Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger): “In those situations where homosexual unions … have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty.” (Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, July 2003)

A Catholic whose conscience has been properly formed by Scripture and the teachings of the Catholic Church cannot support same sex marriage. Please vote YES on question 1.

Is the correct answer —

(A) “Please send your corporation’s Form 1120-X, together with your long-overdue tax payment, to Internal Revenue Service, Ogden UT 84201-0012.”

(B) “As for forming your conscience about that sexual abuse stuff, and rumors about cover-ups, that you keep hearing about in the media, we ask you to keep an open mind.  We will fully address this issue with you soon.  Eventually.  Promise.”

Demons and Satan-worship aside, let us not forget what Halloween really is all about.

Litigation.  By six-year-old girls seeking redress for being cheated out of trick-or-treats.

Happy Halloween, lawyers.

Circa 29 AD — Jesus Christ picks an odd time to go surfing.  Observers are totally stoked by the result.

Circa 1601 — Shakespeare, stuck for a dramatic hook for his new play about otherwise-boring Danes, decides to ice one of them by drowning her.

Circa 1850 — The first breweries in Milwaukee are established, followed soon thereafter by predictable stereotyping of Wisconsinites.

Circa now — Richard M. Daley, Mayor of Chicago (and, as you can see, super-cute), tries to sell the world’s purveyors of Sport on Lake Michigan.  He fails, miserably.  He then tries to sell Lake Michigan — full stop.

If the parking meter deal put a bad taste in your mouth, try swallowing this: Chicago is considering leasing its water system to help fix the budget.

The new boss could charge whatever they want for water….

…and I give up.  Dude has sold off the parking meters, and a toll bridge. (Actually, they’re 99-year leases.  But who’s counting?)  He wanted to fork over Midway Airport to a private company, but couldn’t swing the deal.  More than half the money from the sales he did do is already spoken for.  And now our water’s for sale.

Screw it.  Go ahead and raise my taxes.  It’s not like you’re going to lose an election in the next twenty years.  You’re still going to have 90% of the City Council kissing your ass, no matter what happens.  Better an honest tax hike than privatizing water.

Part of the problem with the legal profession is that there are a number of shows on the teevee, and movies, which make the job of being a lawyer seem incredibly simple.  Like our friend Adam here.  A couple of mildly biting comments when faced with a sticking point in a case, and the case moves to a neatly-packaged conclusion — preferably with a bad guy going to Auburn or Comstock or some either nice town upstate.

All I know is that I got so caught up in work tonight that I just blew through a Stinque meetup here in town.  Apologies to all concerned.  (I perhaps can redeem myself when SFL blows through next week.)

Maybe — through my admission of shame and guilt — there are other members of the Lawyerz Caucus who might like to vent.  If so: please have at it.

OK.  There were issues previously raised herein by Comrade Nojo regarding The Audacity of Condiments (and Miracle Whip in particular). And there may be something to connecting Walt Whitman with blue jeans (given, I suppose, the whole Whitman, um, thing).

But this is just ridiculous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAXpJSvW5mA

Snaps for exposing America to homoerotica, ad geniuses. And yet, regardless: STOOPENDOUS FAIL.

So Daley Plaza cleared out fairly quickly after the first-round TKO of the Chicago 2016 bid — all that remained after a couple of hours were roadies, and a fountain filled with orange soda.

And the people who left in a hush had a serious case of sad.  They believed in the bid — truly and completely, and notwithstanding all of the inherent problems of handing off billions of dollars to the Daley machine, when such money can pay for other useful things.  (On this score, the objections to the bid by Chicagocentric Stinquers were well-documented and, on the whole, well-founded.)

But: Rush Limbaugh?  Glenn Beck?  Weekly Standard hacks?   And, also, a guy who dialed into WGN Radio after Chicago got spiked and blamed Black Eagle for badmouthing America overseas — just after he gave America a big, wet, sloppy kiss?  All of whom were elated not so much that Chicago lost, but that America lost?

Look: I didn’t want the Games to come here.  My reasons were out of broader concerns about the well-being of the city I live in.  These guys just wanted Barack Obama to be embarassed.  That’s all they care about.  And this — something that is positively trivial compared to health care, or Afghanistan, or all the other things Barry couldn’t think about while he was in Denmark for four hours — proves where these people are, mentally, beyond any doubt.

Note to Harry Reid and similarly spineless Democrats in charge of things: the guys whose asses you want to kiss are in league with people who were cheering when America lost at something.  These are the bastards you are dealing with.  A thought: why don’t you call ’em out on something like this?  For once?  And not wishy-washy, but in earnest?  For me?  PLEASE??

Hello Canada, and Stinquey fans in the United States and Newfoundland! Welcome to October, referred to here in Chicago as “Hockey Season.”  But also: welcome to a special, 0-dark-30 liveblog of the Chicago 2016 presentation to the International Olympic Committee and Chowder Club.  (I will be out of action once the vote gets called.  Ah, work.)

The big guns are out in force, of course, trying to sell Chicago on the world.  Everybody’s looking to see if Barry and Michelle can close the deal, or if Dick Pound jumps on Oprah’s couch.  (NB: Dick Pound = Canadian IOC member, anti-doping crusader, Montreal lawyer, and guy with the BEST NAME EVER.)  That’s the sideshow.  The real story here is that the stakes could not be higher for Richard M. Daley, Mayor.  Dude’s basically put all his chips on this one day.  If Chicago wins, he’ll be Benevolent Monarch For Life, doling out millions upon millions of Olympic dollars to his pals.  If not, his days as Mayor are just about done — his career effectively nailed to a cross of discarded parking meters.

So: showtime for Chicago is set for — oh God — about 0130 (CT).  Will Mayor Daley be able to Make The Connection?  Let us watch, try to stay awake, and ponder.

PRE-SHOW: The voting process is intriguing.  Majority rule, with the last-place town getting spiked after each round.  Everyone figures that of the four, Toyko will get tossed at the start.  Which brings up an interesting prospect — Japan and Brazil seemingly have a history, with many Japanese immigrants going to Brazil in the early 20th Century.  Madrid is likely to go next, with sympathies possibly going to Rio.  So for all the talk about how Chicago has a leg up, the process might cut against Chicago, hard.

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