S. Brown v. L. van Pelt
Demons and Satan-worship aside, let us not forget what Halloween really is all about.
Litigation. By six-year-old girls seeking redress for being cheated out of trick-or-treats.
Happy Halloween, lawyers.
“Nice masthead.”
“Sally Brown says that Linus van Pelt owes her restitution. But, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, she admitted that she is a fool. ‘What a fool I was.’ She said it that night. Twice. HER OWN WORDS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY. And she threatened to slug Mr. van Pelt that same night, and then grabbed him by the shirt and shook him — violently shook him. Sally Brown is a vindictive, self-absorbed woman, who is now lashing out for her stupidity against a decent, honorable man. Do not reward her. Thank you.”
@chicago bureau: I’m persuaded.
I bet Orly would take the case. :)
Litigiousness is not so new.
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MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
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FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
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FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…