And YOU Get A White Elephant!

When she wants bottled water, just GIVE IT TO HERHello Canada, and Stinquey fans in the United States and Newfoundland! Welcome to October, referred to here in Chicago as “Hockey Season.”  But also: welcome to a special, 0-dark-30 liveblog of the Chicago 2016 presentation to the International Olympic Committee and Chowder Club.  (I will be out of action once the vote gets called.  Ah, work.)

The big guns are out in force, of course, trying to sell Chicago on the world.  Everybody’s looking to see if Barry and Michelle can close the deal, or if Dick Pound jumps on Oprah’s couch.  (NB: Dick Pound = Canadian IOC member, anti-doping crusader, Montreal lawyer, and guy with the BEST NAME EVER.)  That’s the sideshow.  The real story here is that the stakes could not be higher for Richard M. Daley, Mayor.  Dude’s basically put all his chips on this one day.  If Chicago wins, he’ll be Benevolent Monarch For Life, doling out millions upon millions of Olympic dollars to his pals.  If not, his days as Mayor are just about done — his career effectively nailed to a cross of discarded parking meters.

So: showtime for Chicago is set for — oh God — about 0130 (CT).  Will Mayor Daley be able to Make The Connection?  Let us watch, try to stay awake, and ponder.

PRE-SHOW: The voting process is intriguing.  Majority rule, with the last-place town getting spiked after each round.  Everyone figures that of the four, Toyko will get tossed at the start.  Which brings up an interesting prospect — Japan and Brazil seemingly have a history, with many Japanese immigrants going to Brazil in the early 20th Century.  Madrid is likely to go next, with sympathies possibly going to Rio.  So for all the talk about how Chicago has a leg up, the process might cut against Chicago, hard.

Stay swarthy, my friends.0025 (CT): This thought came to me, in re Head of State Cage Match….

Hatoyama: Not sexy.

King Juan Carlos: Sexy (creepy/old division).

Black Eagle: Sexy.

Lula: The Most Interesting Man In The World.

0045: TEAM CHICAGO NEWS: Rahmbo was not down with the road trip until just recently, per Sen. Dick Durbin:

Durbin said Thursday that White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel was reluctant for the president to make the trip.Emanuel had told Durbin that Obama’s busy schedule, coupled with the fact that health care legislation is unresolved, made him skeptical about the Copenhagen venture.

“He didn’t want to miss a chance to help pass healthcare reform,” Durbin said of Emanuel.

The senator added: “It was the only thing holding him back.”

When it became clear the full Senate would not vote on health care this week, Emanuel’s objections eased, Durbin said.

“When it became clear the full Senate would not vote on health care this week….”  Shit.  That wasn’t clear back on Labor Day?  Seriously: what kind of show is Rahm running?

I love to count votes!0115: Fun Fact of the Night — you know Prince Albert of Monaco?  Dude’s got a vote in this thing.  Don’t ask me why.  But he’s not the only royalty with a vote.  Grand Duke of Luxembourg Henri is in the house.  Hank is joined by Princess Nora of (yes!) Liechtenstein, and Prince of Orange Willem-Alexander, and HRH The Princess Royal.   There are four royals from the Persian Gulf on board as well.  Head IOC President In Charge Jacques Rogge, meanwhile, is merely a Count.  (Thus, naturally: FOUR!  FOUR BIDDING CITIES — AH AH AH!)  And, lest we forget, the aforementioned Dick Pound who, with a name like that, must become Viceroy / Governor General of Canada someday soon.

0135: DEVELOPING HARD — BLACK EAGLE HAS LANDED!  Arrived at 0056 (Chicago War Time).  Eric Cantor, meanwhile, plotting Republican takeover of House floor to pass GOP-approved health care plan (ish) RIGHT FUCKING NOW.  Way to take your eye off the ball, Barry.

0145: Chicago TV now going into full-blown, CONTINUING SNOWSTORM COVERAGE for the Chicago powerpoint.

0147: Team Chicago walks in and goes to the podium.  Michelle in form-fitting yellow silk outfit.  A little loud, I think.  And… Chicago has won the toss and will receive.  Game on!

0150: Anita DeFrantz — IOC head honcho in America — leads off… and sounds wooden and diplomatic.  Nice.  Ish.  “A city that likes to have… fun…”  Leads into video with Buddy Guy playing the guitar.  “Sweet Home Chicago,” obviously.

0152: USOC honcho Larry Probst commences the ass-kissing in earnest.  The USOC and the IOC are not the best of friends.  There’s munnie at stake, you see.

0154: And now, Richard M. Daley, Mayor.  He’s going to tell us a story.  Claiming Jesse Owens as Chicago’s own.  Jesse, from the grave, says — “no, no, that’s OK, Rich.”

0155: “We have rebuilt our schools.”  Uh. Huh.

0157: A “full government guarantee.”  That was the sticking point, and R.M.D., M., strongarmed it through the City Council.  Which didn’t take much doing, as they are as malleable as a wet piece of paper.

0159: More soft light video now of people take part in Sport.  And kids.  Oh, kids.

0201: Patrick Ryan — Head Insurance Mogul In Charge of Chicago 2016 now.  More ass-kissing.

0202: He brings up the colleges in town, as well as Notre Dame and the U of Illinois.  I shrug at this.

0204: Odd — the pool video focuses in on the Obamas while Ryan’s talking.  Overshadowing, really.

0205: The diction from everybody is totally wooden and measured.  No passion in it at all.

0206: SHOPPING RIGHT BY YOUR HOTEL!  COME TO CHICAGO!  And now more video with St. Bono in background.  Ugh.

0209: Pimping the Olympic Village now.  Developers, start your brokers!

0211: Two athletes having Oscar-presenter banter.  Where’s Villanch when we need him?

0212: Chicago 2016 chief architect bringing the French now.  What is he?  Canadian?  (BTW: Chicago likes Architecture.  Film and blueprints, live tonight at 10.)

0215: Bob Ctvrtlik now.  More legacy, more worldview, more partnership.  Yawn.

0216: Head of Google with a video cameo.  And yet Michael Jordan is sitting on his ass.  Odd.

0219: More video with more kids.  Awww.

0220: “Together, we can.”  You know what’s coming now….

0221: Michelle up now.  SOUTH SIDE!

0222: Watching the Olympics on teevee with her pop.  More awww.

0224: Michelle gets a bit emotional with her pop.  A bit over the top, to be honest.

0227: Barack Obama up to run the anchor leg now.

0228: Barry pumps up the American people.  Take that, haters.  And he folds in his Kenyan pop into the mix.

0229: And I grew up in Indonesia, too!  Orly’s head will explode when she hears that — which is too bad, as she has to file a brief this afternoon.

0230: Sox Fan No. 1 has a chance to take a shot at Cub Fan; doesn’t take it.  Classy.

0232: “We can make it if we try.”  Bring it on home, man.

0234: Bringing up Grant Park now.  A false note, perhaps — a little self-promotion.  I dunno.

0236: THE END.  A bland, but overall safe, presentation.  And now… Q&A.

0237: Sergei Bubka — talking about the cycling Olympic Village, which is actually up in Madison, seeing as Chicago has no hills.  Also, the shooting venue in the South Suburbs is a ways away from downtown.  Interesting.

0238: Prince Albert In The Can with another question — variances between the Bid Book and the present situation.

0241: As to cycling — U.W. Madison will deliver a new housing development.  Madison needs another condo complex like a hole in the head.

0243: Shooting venue village — same deal, but it’s called a “day village.”  Ruh roh.

0244: As to the Bid Book — the plans are there and in place.  No variances.  Also, Prince Albert — we’d like to sell you a bridge.

0245: “Most important legacy” — Bob Ctvrtlik gives a soft-light review of the parks — “put the fun back in the games… city-wide celebration… [etc.]”

0247: “Head of the university system in the United States.”  Who the hell is this, and why was I not informed?

0248: Some guy named Lundquist — question on doping and governmental assistance.  Softball question.  Which is odd, as the IOC spiked softball from the Olympic program.

0249: Another question from a Mr. Ali about — uh oh — foreigners getting hassled at the airports.  Well.

0250: The furriner question gets answered thusly: “LOOK — BARACK OBAMA IS HERE.”  Well.  And Barry brings a personal answer — “a reminder that America at its best is open to the world.”  Deft.  And the IOC members applaud that answer.  And Rogge wraps it up with some diplomatic nice talk.  AND a diploma.  Gifts.  SWEET!

POSTGAME: Like I said — a bit safe, but solid.  No major foul-ups.  But a little passionless.  I think Rio has an opening to bring the flavor and win over the crowd.

And with that — off to bed.  We’ll see.

FRAUD AT POLLSP.S.: Local NBC guy on site thought the first part was dragging, but picked up the emotion at the end.  Reception in room?  Noted the applause for Black Eagle.

P.S. #2: No Oprah on the podium.  Hmm.

Now — really — off to bed.

1159: MY SPIRIT IS BEING REPLENISHED BY MAYOR DALEY’S BITTER TEARS.

84 Comments

nojo: Oh, that’s genius. Get the Hammer to Copenhagen NOW!

@chicago bureau: I’d suggest Blago, but he’s, um, indisposed at the moment.

By the way, did you notice this week how wingnut media ran with that unrelated murder you mentioned Monday?

nojo: Well, yeah. But, to be frank: there is a thread or two of truth in it. Of course, it was unfairly drawn against Black Eagle. That’s not new. But it’s not nothing, either.

Look — you had GOP pols saying something to the effect of “why is he going to Copenhagen when he should be DEFENDING FREEDOM?!?” [Add: that was Sen. Kit Bond (R-Mo.) earlier this week. And it’s not a real quote, but a fairly close paraphrase. Sue me. –Ed.] That sort of crap is just dumb. Or, perhaps, nostalgia for the good old days when they were all shot callers and could make Democrats cower at will. (Those days are long gone for the GOP, of course.)

But: you have a mob scene after school on a Thursday, during which a kid gets clubbed to death with a railroad tie, and nobody comes in to save the poor child. No joke: something is rotten, and it’s not in Denmark.

You could say that Rio has the same problems (if not much, much worse). And you’d be right. Same with Toyko and Madrid. But the camera was rolling here, and we’re left to make excuses where none can be found.

Sport. Woo-fucking-hoo.

Boys in spandex. Whatever.

But who is to ‘host’ the concomitant international theatre festival?

Iowa City vies with Bamf?

I’m on the edge of my fucking seat.

See, there are sectors here, Benedick, which want us to lose at Sport. This is a reversal for Chicago Fan — hoping to lose when we might just win, as opposed to hoping to win when we are certain to lose. Consider yr script flipped.

This is about Big Munnie, and usage of said munnie on bread as opposed to circuses. Or something.

Go Rio Go!! Hot Brazilian women and men to unleash every sentient human’s three-way and/or bisexual fantasy – just think of NBC’s up close and personal vignettes

SanFranLefty: Some poor PA at NBC is going to have to be in charge of reinserting Bob Costas’s tongue into his mouth during telecasts if Rio 2016 comes to pass.

This whole thing is making me fucking sick because I feel like we are going to win. If I have to read one more Facebook post about “OMG Chicago 2016 will be SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!1!!! I am going to hurl. I am going to be Debbie Downer and you will like it, thank you very much.

@chicago bureau: What happened to Costas? Last time I checked, I liked him. Then again, last time I checked, he was following Letterman.

homofascist: There really is a dead-even split between “are you freakin’ kidding me” and “it will be so awesome” around town. There is a certain South Side (yea!) vs. North Side (boo!) flavor to the sentiment, I think.

nojo: Costas is the showrunner for Football Night in America right now. Of course, the meat of the show is the highlights with Keef and Dan Patrick. But anyway.

“I don’t always snort coke off hookers’ asses. But when I do, I snort Bolivian.”

I’m with you CB.

I was feeling the same way for 2008.

Lots of deluded people thought 2008 was going to Toronto (no way in hell, China had better hookers and more of them) but then again these are the same folks who believe the Maple Leafs will win the Stanley Cup (hockey sport for those wondering) every year.

I had a boss once named Dick Bangs.

fuck the olympics.
do you know about the brouhaha over the jumps in the e*equestrian events?
bottom line, the controversy is over the appearance or the safety of horse and rider. appearance is winning out, and we can expect the needless pain suffering and death to continue at it’s past rate. munich, anyone?
fuck the olympics.figuratively….except brian boitano-literally.

@RomeGirl: I just left a job with a colleague named Dick Dash. He didn’t deserve the name, which I thought was totes awesome.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: Hey you, whats up with this swine flu thing? Were you doing planning for civil unrest, vaccine riots, carts for hauling off and burning the dead? I’m sensing a strangeness in the media, we want people aware, but not panicked, but the “authorities,” and you know who that is, are preparing for, well, what?

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: I had a high school teacher named Harold Dick. Everyone used the short version, so to speak.

@Prommie: I’m out of that game, and just another sheeple like y’all. Plus, since I have no health insurance, I haven’t even received the seasonal flu shot!

/writes from the medical clearance center of ONG, where I just signed consent for them to take blood for the purpose of identifying my remains…/

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: I woulda figured you were building the emergency crematoriums over the summer. Hmph, looks like the gubmint is going to be unprepared again.

@Dodgerblue: Do you know my name? I have a brother named “Richard,” or “Dick.”

@chicago bureau: I was relieved when NYC didn’t get the 2012 games. I’m still pissed from the RNC being here in ’04.

Cue the “wa, wa, wa” sound effect for Chicago–1st to be eliminated!

@Prommie: Two H1N1 deaths in New Mexico this week, one a five year girl who exhibited no flu like symptoms, tho other also a young female, per news reports. Our toll is up to seven now.

Consensus seems to be that Rio will get it – Tokyo also out.

@flippin eck: As soon as I read about the question from the IOC about how the US planned to let people from foreign countries in to attend or participate given how difficult our customs and immigration system was, I knew Chicago was dead in the water.

@redmanlaw: the stat I just read that scared me is that over 100 pregnant women have been hospitalized with it, and 28 died. I mean, thats young women, if they are pregnant, thats not your usual flu death demographic, is it?

@SanFranLefty: That’s a good point, but it didn’t stop them from picking Beijing, which was no picnic to get to either. Even though I was rooting for Daley’s legacy project to fall through, I am kind of surprised and disappointed to hear we were out first. No one wants to lose in the quarterfinals. But as one of my colleagues pointed out, people who care already know that Chicago is a world-class city, and the Olympics would’ve been a pretty shitty way to showcase that anyway.

@Prommie: Because I’m in my 30s and have mild asthma, I’m actually on the priority list for H1N1 vaccine. It’s definitely a different creature from the usual flu, demographically.

@Prommie: I believe the increased fatality among the young and healthy is one of the aspects of H1N1 that’s causing the most concern. It is atypical of flu, but was characteristic of the 1918 Spanish flu that caused the worst pandemic ever. Pregnant women seem to be particularly vulnerable to this flu, for whatever reason.

@Mistress Cynica: Elite Illuminati New World Order population control brought on by Reptillian shape shifters in government taking orders from international bankers and the Queen of England.

@Mistress Cynica: What RML said. Plus, healthy bodies try to attack the virus so aggressively that the secondary defenses break down and get walloped by opportunistic things like pneumonia. In 1918 most of the dead were healthy young adults who basically drowned to death. Oh, after their skin turned black and crinkly…

I guess the committee has actually been to the States.

All the theatres were closed in Rio because of the flu. Wonder if they’ve re-opened?

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: So what you’re saying, Professor Peabody, is that our immune systems go after this bug like a fighter trying for a knockout in the first round, who doesn’t pace himself to go 15?

@baked:
oh, and i got the shot–for you, remember?
i’m also on the priority list, shocking, i know.

@prom: ADD: they took me off the case because I liked talking about the crinkly skin scenario. There actually is a plan for mass mortuary services at the state level.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: Fucking shit, you hadda go and tell me that? This is not the way I wanted to go to Vegas.

@Prommie: I’ve been in a lot of airports/planes lately and I’ve noticed that the few people wearing facemask thingies are all Chinese. I wonder if that is a carryover from SARS.

dodge
did they shine a flashlight into your eyes and down your throat? that was eerie. they did it in ben gurion, and providenciales.

@Dodgerblue: I’m planning on taking a travel pack of Lysol wipes and disinfecting everything I might touch on the plane.

@Prommie: When you in Vegas? We’re there October 23-24 for U2.

@Dodgerblue: Face masks are ubiquitous in Asia, when we first moved there I found it unsettling, then during SARs reassuring (Japan and Korea didn’t have a single case).

Common surgical masks don’t protect you, or me. Someone coughs, wipes their mouth/nose with their hand, then touches a door nob and Bingo: vector city. The masks get wet and end up transmitting bugs even better than when they are dry.

Do what your momma always told you and wash your hands before and after everything. My new office building has all these automatic door openers to be ADA compliant, I use them faithfully.

@nojo:

I literally snorted cocaine off a go-go boy’s ass in New York once. Your comment takes me back. Good times.

@redmanlaw: I’m assuming that after we are decimated by the plague, we will all be going to Vegas for the final showdown between good and evil. Hard to put a firm timetable on it, though. Hope we’re on the same team!

@Prommie: Oddly enough, I was thinking of Neil Patrick Harris when I riffed on CB’s remark.

@Prommie: Nevertheless, I will always picture you as that guy, the most interesting man in the world.

So Rio got the nod for the games. I hope I’m not too decrepit to lust over the cute Brazilian women when the TV coverage fires up.

@nojo: @Prommie:

I’ll bet ol’ Doogie has snorted a couple lines off a Go-Go Boy himself.

@Dodgerblue:

Ah, Brazillian ass! Male or Female it’s the second best in the world!

@Prommie: Guinness or Widmer, then, for the record.

:@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: I know a guy who did the same thing off of his caribena gf’s ass almost 20 years ago, but the name escapes me right now. I think I’ll be able to remember after a full two decades have passed.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: Well I mean, if you have an ass available to you, and you have some cocaine, its only natural to imitate Tony Montana at some point, isn’t it? I guess its not the same, though, when you snort crank off a pimply butt in a single-wide in Delaware.

@Dodgerblue: Dontcha remember? Our Tommy’s a Rice Queen.

(Is that inappropriate to say?)

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:

I’ll bet ol’ Doogie has snorted a couple lines off a Go-Go Boy himself.

I can’t think of a more appropriate line for Stinque Comment #50,000.

@nojo: Wow! Tommy is our big winner, and no doubt that should be the next Stinque Tweet.

breaking: Verdict may come in this afternoon in trial of guy who (allegedly) killed my cousin in Santa Fe. Defense counsel who slipped in the amended jury instructions is now whining that notes from the jury indicate mistrust of the defense . . . and just who might have created that sense of mistrust ? Hmmm?

@redmanlaw: What were the jury notes about? Did the ask if they could convict the “expert” who said that it was your cousin’s fault?

@redmanlaw: And wasn’t it the defense that was trying to create its own mistrial?

@Dodgerblue: Have not seen the notes themselves, just the tweets from the courtroom at twitter.com #fierro

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, no shit. The legal community here is aghast, as we all are.

@redmanlaw: I’m sorry but what those defense attorneys did was absolutely unethical and possibly illegal. It’s not the prosecution’s burden to compare side by side the instructions when they sneak in two little words different from the standard instructions in the book. The instructions and the note from the jury are all on your local fishwrap’s website.

@Dodgerblue:

I was hoping someone would ask! Singapore, of course! Then Brazil, then the Philipines, then Korea, then Thailand….

@SanFranLefty: I think you can imagine how the actual text of the rule happened to get to the reporter . . .

Also the general use notes for the Criminal UJIs state as follows:

“Except for grand jury proceedings, when a uniform instruction is provided for the elements of a crime, a defense or a general explanatory instruction on evidence or trial procedure, the uniform instruction must be used without substantive modification or substitution. In no event may an elements instruction be altered or an instruction given on a subject which a use note directs that no instruction be given. For any other matter, if the court determines that a uniform instruction must be altered, the reasons for the alteration must be stated in the record.”

Also, see the Rule 16-303 (A) (1-2) NMRA (New Mexico Rules Annotated), the New Mexico Rules of Professional Conduct as adopted by the NM Supreme Court:

16-303. Candor toward the tribunal.

A. Duties. A lawyer shall not knowingly:

(1) make a false statement of fact or law to a tribunal or fail to correct a false statement of material fact or law previously made to the tribunal by the lawyer;

(2) fail to disclose to the tribunal legal authority in the controlling jurisdiction known to the lawyer to be directly adverse to the position of the client and not disclosed by opposing counsel; . . .

Gotta run. Getting new lenses in the glasses. Now with a bigger reading area for the bifocals!

@nojo:

Oh my god! Do I get a tiara or something?

@SanFranLefty: It depends on who you ask…

@redmanlaw: Sons of bitches. I hope complaints are filed with the State Bar. Screw Orly’s wackadoodleness, this is serious for real stuff here.

What ever happened to the cop in the passenger seat?

@SanFranLefty: Just read these, thanks SFL. I wonder if they could get disbarred for this. And blaming the prosecution: no thanks, assholes.

Sorry. Big event this weekend. I will just say ‘Yay!’ and be done with it.

Nojo, should we issue a press release announcing that Stinque.com will enter the Team Lambada competition under the flag of Chad?

@Dodgerblue: Per Twitter, something’s happening.

Verdict coming.

@FlyingChainSaw: Works for me. And now that I have the Stinque Scribd account set up, we even have a place to post it.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Who produces How I Met Your Mother? If Neil’s on the lot, I can text him to deliver your award in person.

Great. Who’s captain? GM? Coach? Trainer? Any celebrity consultants?

@redmanlaw: The guilty verdict won’t bring him back, but I hope that your family feels that there has been some justice and accountability. Good to see that even the powerful and well-connected are held accountable.

@Dodgerblue: It was nerve-wracking to follow it on Twitter, I can’t imagine what it was like for RML’s family to be in the courtroom…

@Dodgerblue, Lefty, et al.: Thank you all for your prayers and interest and support, and most of all, your desire to see justice done in this case.

@redmanlaw: I am glad that the justice system worked, RML. It doesn’t make it less of a tragedy, but if the system had not worked, it would have been more of a tragedy. Its still sad, and I cannot see ground to celebrate, but its the necessary closure to such an occurence.

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