[MSNBC]

That 9/11 first-responders bill that finally passed last winter? There’s a catch:

The tens of thousands of cops, firefighters, construction workers and others who survived the worst terrorist assault in U.S. history and risked their lives in its wake will soon be informed that their names must be run through the FBI’s terrorism watch list.

Credit goes to Florida GOP congresscritter Cliff Stearns, who tacked on the provision last May:

“This amendment was adopted in the full Energy and Commerce Committee without opposition and it merely requires that the names of those receiving health benefits be cross-checked with the terrorist watch list to ensure that no terrorists get these benefits,” Stearns said.

Additional credit goes to the Demrats who let the amendment pass during a voice vote.

9/11 Responders To Be Warned They Will Be Screened By FBI’s Terrorism Watch List [HuffPo]

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Serial Koran abuser Terry Jones is in Dearborn, exercising his God-given right to make an asshole of himself:

Jack O’Reilly Jr., the mayor of Dearborn, Michigan, has written an open letter to publicity-seeking, Quran-burning Florida pastor Terry Jones, in an effort to dissuade him from protesting in front of a Dearborn mosque. In the letter, O’Reilly tells Jones it’s ridiculous to believe that the city is under Sharia law: “If Dearborn practiced Sharia law, would we have three adult entertainment bars and more alcohol-licensed bars and restaurants per capita than most other cities?”

Jones is packing God’s Heat this time, toting a .40-caliber peacemaker to protect himself from the infidels. And judging by the results, his ride worships a false deity:

Police told The Detroit Free Press that Jones was getting into the passenger side of his car at 11:10 p.m. Thursday night, after an interview at the TV station, when the gun went off, putting a bullet into the floorboard.

At presstime, we could not confirm whether Jones received firearms lessons from Plaxico Burress.

Quran-Burning Pastor’s Gun Accidentally Goes Off In Michigan [TPM]

Monday night:

Wan Fratboy Humor purveyor Wonkette publishes “Greatest Living American: A Children’s Treasury of Trig Crap On His Birthday”, which includes (among a dumpster of other items) a commemorative poem from Team Sarah:

Oh, little boy what are you dreaming about
A mother’s soft lullaby…the soft touch of her hand…the soft sound of her voice as she says “I Love You”
Dream on little boy as the Angels stand guard

“What’s he dreaming about?” asks Wonkette professional satirist Jack Stuef. “Nothing. He’s retarded.” “Retarded” links to a video of Levi Johnston claiming Sarah Palin used the same word for her 2008 Stinque Award-winning son.

Wednesday:

Mission Accomplished! Newsbusters takes the bait:

What has become of today’s liberalism that makes it acceptable to attack the mentally handicapped if they or their parents are conservatives?

And Wonkette editor Ken Layne defiantly responds to a Mediaite inquiry:

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“It is with tremendous sadness that I officially hand over the Senate seat that I have held for eleven years,” Ensign said in the statement. “The turbulence of these last few years is greatly surpassed by the incredible privilege that I feel to have been entrusted to serve the people of Nevada. I can honestly say that being a United States Senator has been the honor of my life.” [TPM]

Our guest petitioner is Texas Governor Rick Perry.

TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS SHALL COME:

WHEREAS, the state of Texas is in the midst of an exceptional drought, with some parts of the state receiving no significant rainfall for almost three months, matching rainfall deficit records dating back to the 1930s; and

WHEREAS, a combination of higher than normal temperatures, low precipitation and low relative humidity has caused an extreme fire danger over most of the State, sparking more than 8,000 wildfires which have cost several lives, engulfed more than 1.8 million acres of land and destroyed almost 400 homes, causing me to issue an ongoing disaster declaration since December of last year; and

WHEREAS, these dire conditions have caused agricultural crops to fail, lake and reservoir levels to fall and cattle and livestock to struggle under intense stress, imposing a tremendous financial and emotional toll on our land and our people; and

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