Our guest columnist is notorious progressive Mike Huckabee.

This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a Progressive, which he has said is the same as a “cancer” and a “Nazi.”

What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews? I had the audacity — not of hope — but the audacity to give respect to the efforts of First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign to address childhood obesity.

I’m no fan of her husband’s policies for sure, but I have appreciated her efforts that Beck misrepresented — either out of ignorance or out of a deliberate attempt to distort them to create yet another “boogey man” hiding in the closet that he and only he can see. The First Lady’s approach is about personal responsibility — not the government literally taking candy from a baby’s mouth.

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Remember Sen. Jon “Not Intended to be a Factual Statement” Kyl (R-AZ) and his speech on the Senate floor that 90% of Planned Parenthood’s business is abortions?  Last week Sen. Kyl had that redacted from the official transcript of his speech in the Congressional Record.

Apparently the Party of Buggy Whips has not heard of this newfangled thing called the teevee and video recorders that preserve such idiotic statements for the ages:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAryQP_Iz9A

So apparently Trig Birtherism is heating up, The Preznit of These United States said some Fine Things yesterday that we’ll wait to see translated into actual policy before we give a shit, and Teabaggers are collectively demanding to Keep Government Out Of Their Medicare.

But in weighing the relative significance of these stories against a Penguin Tickling Video, we’re reminded yet again how easily our editorial priorities are subverted.

Watch Cookie the Ticklish Penguin go viral in real time [Salon, via Sully]

While everybody’s excited about the new “.xxx” Internet red-light district soon to flood a series of glandular tubes near you, an enterprising company has been diddling Ma Bell:

Records obtained by The Associated Press show that over the past 13 years, a little-known Philadelphia company called PrimeTel Communications has quietly gained control over nearly a quarter of all the 1-800 numbers in the U.S. and Canada, often by grabbing them the moment they are relinquished by previous users. As of March, it administered more 800 numbers than any other company, including Verizon and AT&T.

And many, if not most, of those 1.7 million numbers appear to be used for one thing: redirecting callers to a phone-sex service.

We can’t help but consider the news adorably quaint: With free video online to satisfy every exquisitely perverted urge imaginable, who the hell spends money on phone sex anymore?

Porn Company Is Amassing 1-800 Numbers [AP/ABC, via TPM]

Born on this day: George Takei, Crispin Glover, Joan Miró, Harold Lloyd, Jessica Lange, John Paul Stevens, Edie Sedgwick, Don Mattingly, Andrew Tobias, Clint Howard, and Andy Serkis. Oh, and Hitler.

“The Club for Growth today noted that Donald Trump once tried to use eminent domain to evict an elderly widow from her Atlantic City home to build a limousine parking lot, and has repeatedly tried to use eminent domain as a tool of his development business.”

Our guest columnist this morning is David Caton of the Florida Family Association, working hard to make your teen’s life as miserable as possible.

MTV is airing through their Teen Nick channel for kids episodes of the show called DeGrassi which affirms and promotes the transgender lifestyle to an audience of millions of young teens and children.

You would think by the number of episodes that MTV devotes to including the relationship between a female to male transgender high school student and a bi-sexual lesbian student that such relationships are a common occurrence in America’s high schools.

The odds of this bizarre relationship occurring in high school are likely less than one in a million. Yet, MTV feeds this salacious and irresponsible propaganda to an audience made up almost exclusively of young teens and children as if it were common place.

MTV airs a free promo for PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) on DeGrassi which directs kids to an organization that will encourage our youth to embrace a different sexual identity that may stay with them for life.

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