Glenn Beck IrrelevanceWatch Kicks Into High Gear

Our guest columnist is notorious progressive Mike Huckabee.

This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a Progressive, which he has said is the same as a “cancer” and a “Nazi.”

What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews? I had the audacity — not of hope — but the audacity to give respect to the efforts of First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign to address childhood obesity.

I’m no fan of her husband’s policies for sure, but I have appreciated her efforts that Beck misrepresented — either out of ignorance or out of a deliberate attempt to distort them to create yet another “boogey man” hiding in the closet that he and only he can see. The First Lady’s approach is about personal responsibility — not the government literally taking candy from a baby’s mouth.

He seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts for his linking so many people and events together to describe a massive global conspiracy for pretty much everything. Sadly, he seems equally inept at recognizing the obvious fact that children are increasingly obese and that we now see clinical evidence of diseases in children that as recent as 20 years ago were found only in adults, such as Type 2 diabetes.

The costs to our nation are staggering in increase health care expenses, but it even effects national security with now 75% of young men between the ages of 17 and 24 are unfit for military service primarily due to obesity!

His ridiculous claim that John McCain and I collaborated and conspired in the 2008 campaign is especially laughable. Is he not aware that McCain and I were competitors — not cohorts? Beck needs to stick to conspiracies that can’t be so easily de-bunked by facts. Why Beck has decided to aim his overloaded guns on me is beyond me. But he ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.

Response to Glenn Beck [HuckPAC]
7 Comments

K. Um. Whatevs. But…

Sadly, he seems equally inept at recognizing the obvious fact that children are increasingly obese and that we now see clinical evidence of diseases in children that as recent as 20 years ago were found only in adults, such as Type 2 diabetes.

Pot meet kettle, fat man. If you can’t see your pee-pee when you pee it’s not good to start throwing around the ‘clinically obese’ word. Plus, if your sons can’t see theirs when they whack off over vids of the Cyrus girl in the privacy of their Arkansas manse it’s best to leave out the o-word children.

Moving on, does he have anyone working for him who can write some approximation of English?

The costs to our nation are staggering in increase health care expenses, but it even effects national security with now 75% of young men between the ages of 17 and 24 are unfit for military service primarily due to obesity!

WTF? No. Srsly. WTF?

Cohorts=colleagues, fat boy.

Debunked don’t need no lousy dash, bitch tits.

Why Beck has decided to aim his overloaded guns on me is beyond me.

Me too. BTW. What size boxers does it take to encompass your ass?

But he ought to clean his gun and point it more carefully lest it blow up in his face like it did this time.

Is, what, Mrs Todd Palin writing copy for Happy Fat Man?

What I have learned from all this is: when push (don’t believe in capitalizations after colon; sorry, that is just how I hang, bitchez) comes to shove I say fuck it.

K. We have a hot game of Kill the Pug going on around my chair and the dachshund has been barking non-stop (see, now that does need a dash, constant guest of Jon Stewart to whom he is very very kind despite of all the truly appalling things said guest has said many times and oft about gays (sigh: eye-roll), women (I’m not going there because I am not Daniel Tosh) and anyone who is not a lard-ass loonie – really, Jon, what are you thinking, and why can’t you spell your name?) for about 15 mins and shows no signs of stopping and I must go address my top of act 2 problem, aka WTF?

So here’s a warm hand on your opening.

PS. We are aware that Chicago was first staged by Fosse? Hence the idea of ‘jazzhands’ is anathema?

PPS. OK, Bruno has got the puppy on her back and is now playing Puppy Evisceration. Happy times.

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: “Cohort” is a plural noun like “group.” When I see “cohorts” used to mean “colleagues,” it’s like “it’s” and “its.”

@Dodgerblue and Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: It was the improper use of “effects” instead of “affects” that made me cringe.

@SanFranLefty: To say nothing of it blowing up in his face like it did last time.

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