“Addressing a perennial source of jokes, Mr. Boehner says his dark complexion is natural, similar to that of his mother and four (of 12) siblings. ‘I have never been in a never been in a tanning bed or used a tanning product,’ Mr. Boehner said. His staff showed a high school group photo where he has the darkest face in Moeller High’s all-male class.” [WSJ, via Political Wire]

Somebody posted in a sign in our neighborhood the other day, warning residents to be on the lookout for thieves. While various stereotypes ran through our head, we’re pretty sure none of our Fantasy Perps were wearing suits:

When Jason Grodensky bought his modest Fort Lauderdale home last December, he paid cash. But seven months later, he was surprised to learn that Bank of America had foreclosed on the house, even though Grodensky did not have a mortgage.

Grodensky knew nothing about the foreclosure until July, when he learned that the title to his home had been transferred to a government-backed lender. “I feel like I’m hanging in the wind and I’m scared to death,” said Grodensky. “How did some attorney put through a foreclosure illegally?”

Although you can thank BofA for that one, GMAC Mortgage gets credit for others. The banks are on such a foreclosure spree right now — a Chase Home Finance executive tallied 18,000 a month in her purview — it’s easier to just skip the details and dump all the paperwork on the courts.

Man’s home sold out from under him in foreclosure mistake [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, via Tom Tomorrow]

Today’s Stinque Endurance Test measures your ability to maintain composure in the face of increasingly challenging obstacles. How many facts can you withstand before cackling like a hyena?

Fact One:

In 1915, England’s MI6 investigated methods of creating invisible ink.

Fact Two:

Following months of rigorous research at London University, it was determined that “the best invisible ink is semen.”

Read more »

“House Republicans just released a draft of their legislative agenda for the next Congress, a 21-page ‘Pledge to America’ that they will formally unveil Thursday morning at a Virginia hardware store.” [CBS, via Political Wire]

While the upcoming Rally to Restore Sanity/March To Keep Fear Alive is supposedly scaring the bejeezus out of Democrats for stealing focus next month, it seems at least one of the headliners will be slipping into DC early. Like, Friday:

Comedy Central host Stephen Colbert is slated to testify at a congressional hearing Friday on immigration titled “Protecting America’s Harvest.”

One Republican source said Colbert will be testifying “in character,” the Bill O’Reilly-like muse Colbert uses for his show.

Read more »

The Hill, 8:55 p.m. Tuesday:

Sen. Richard Burr (N.C.) is expected to take over as senior Republican on the Senate Energy panel after Sen. Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) lost the position Tuesday.

Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.) was behind the switch.

CNN, 2:51 p.m. Wednesday:

In a surprise move, Senate Republicans decided not to remove Sen. Lisa Murkowski from her top position on the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee Wednesday, according to several Republican senators who refused to explain their decision.

Actually, they voted to remove Lisa Murkwski, but discovered their error too late.

We’re announcing a new campaign to protest Christians building their Citadels of Sin on American soil:

Two young men in Georgia said Tuesday that the pastor of a 33,000-person Baptist megachurch, Bishop Eddie L. Long, had repeatedly coerced them into having sex with him.

In two lawsuits filed in DeKalb County, the men said that Bishop Long, a prominent minister and television personality, had used his position as a spiritual counselor to take them on trips out of state and perform sexual acts on them.

Bishop Long is the pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, an Atlanta suburb. It is one of the largest churches in the country.

Bishop Long — no, really, that’s his name! — denies the accusations. But since 1987, his Terror Church has grown from 300 to 25,000 potential child molesters. Can we allow these Merchants of Mayhem to infiltrate our nation and subvert our values?

Lawsuits Accuse Megachurch Leader of Sexual Misconduct [NYT]

Image: Church Hopping