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We’ve been promising for ages to work up a Bagram Post, always putting it off because (1) it’s complicated, (2) it depresses the hell out of us, (3) we don’t have a clever angle on it, and (4) we’d just end up copying and pasting giant clumps of Greenwald.

So we’d like to thank Jon Stewart’s industrious researchers for picking up our slack. Also, for reminding us about the candidate we voted for, rather than the president he became.

The dynasty, of course, is the nascent Alaskan redneck family tree that is the Palin-Johnston-probably everyone else in Wasilla who screws each other- power brokerage that’s been warming the cockles of Tea Party hearts ever since John McCain unleashed them on the political scene like a pack of rabid dogs, or a swarm of killer fucking bees, or some devilish conflation of the two.

Anyway, Us reports that a source close to Bristol [my guess is Trig] reports that “Now that Mama Palin is out of the picture and Bristol is on her own in Anchorage, they spend more time together than most people think.” See, Sarah’s too busy with her breast jobs and book tours and the making of the money and going rogue to helicopter this. Apparently, those claims that she was able to simultaneously be a capable mother of five and be a hard working governor were both false, since Palin appears to have failed in both. Read more »

In Hong Kong, cars drive on the left. Elsewhere in China, cars drive on the right. Problem solved!

This also serves a geek illustration for interfacing two systems. And a very expensive DNA model.

Also, U.S. energy policy. But we’re too tired to work that one out.

The flipper bridge [Kottke]

Turn that BP-induced frown upside down, Stinquers, it’s time for the World Cup Hottie of the Day.

As soon as I saw that New Zealand’s Winston Reid stripped off his shirt in celebration of his goal, earning himself a yellow card, because it’s the first time ever the Kiwis have scored a point in a World Cup, I knew sight unseen he would be the Hottie of the Day.

Then I discovered that the All-Whites* love to take their shirts off. So in honor of their great achievement, bringing overwhelming joy at 2:30 in the morning to our funny-talking socialist cousins of the South Pacific, the entire New Zealand soccer team is hereby deemed the World Cup Hotties of the Day.

*Team’s nickname is not a reflection of the racial composition of the team – the rugby team is nicknamed the “All-Blacks” and the soccer team is the “All-Whites.”  Flying Chainsaw might be able to explain why.

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How cool would it be if five minutes in, the camera pulls back, the staff pours in from the Secret Door, and we’re treated to a production number?

Short of that, how bad are we for planting “You’re the One That I Want” in your head for a dream revival at 2 a.m.?

Well, if we haven’t already ruined your evening, stick around for our Obama speech Open Thread/Brylcreem Sale. A little dab will do ya on those hot Summer Nights.

As we run to the store for a six-pack prepare for tonight’s Oval Office speech, comes news from across the pond that their goalie still sucks one of their Great Leaders has been airbrushed:

In the well-known original image, Churchill makes a “V” shaped symbol with his fingers — while gripping a cigar in the corner of his mouth.

But in a reproduction of the picture, hanging over the main entrance to a London museum celebrating the wartime leader, he has been made into a non-smoker through the use of image-altering techniques.

It is unclear who is responsible for doctoring the photograph, with the museum — The Winston Churchill’s Britain at War Experience — claiming not to have noticed the cigar was missing.

We suspect Smokin’ Barry of swiping the stogy.

Winston Churchill’s cigar airbrushed from picture [Telegraph UK]

Newsweek has the breaking story:

The undead have risen from their graves and invaded large portions of the east coast. Driven only by an unsatiable desire for brains, there seems to be no stopping their ruthless push forward. Residents are advised to barricade themselves in their houses and wait for further instructions. Under no circumstances should the walking dead be allowed in your house.

If you haven’t yet bought your Zombie Attack Survival Kit, now’s a good time before Walmart is overru—

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