We’re Getting the Dynasty Back Together

The dynasty, of course, is the nascent Alaskan redneck family tree that is the Palin-Johnston-probably everyone else in Wasilla who screws each other- power brokerage that’s been warming the cockles of Tea Party hearts ever since John McCain unleashed them on the political scene like a pack of rabid dogs, or a swarm of killer fucking bees, or some devilish conflation of the two.

Anyway, Us reports that a source close to Bristol [my guess is Trig] reports that “Now that Mama Palin is out of the picture and Bristol is on her own in Anchorage, they spend more time together than most people think.” See, Sarah’s too busy with her breast jobs and book tours and the making of the money and going rogue to helicopter this. Apparently, those claims that she was able to simultaneously be a capable mother of five and be a hard working governor were both false, since Palin appears to have failed in both.

It sounds like the two youngsters are making sex, and I’m hoping working on their second baby, since “Levi even stays overnight.” As long as they’re not doing it exclusively in the butt, I’m sure there will be a baby soon, since neither of these people are capable of figuring out the complexities of birth control.

EXCLUSIVE: Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin Are Back On, Says Source [Us]

Who knew that Sarah would be a meddling mom?

Little ditty about Levy and Bristol
Two american kids growin up in Alaska
Levy’s gonna be a Playgirl star
Bristol debutante backseat of Levy’s car

Hiding from Sarah outside little Wasilla
Bristol sittin on Levy’s lap
Hes got his hands between her knees
Levy say, hey Bristol lets run off
Away from your batty mother
Take off those Neiman Markup clothes
Let me do what I please
And Levy say a

Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the cash from grifting is gone
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the cash from grifting is gone they screw on

I’ll put cash money in a pool that she’ll be pregnant by October, despite:

During a January appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Bristol said that she would not have sex again until she weds.

Someone’s gotta stay in Anchorage to raise the rest of the kids while Talibunny and First Dude travel around the US like Paris Hilton.

ADD: Who wants to start a pool as to how long before Talibunny is showing up with the Hilton and Kardashian sisters for opening night at discos in Abu Dubai?

With Levi back, they’ll get double rates on the Abstinence Tour.


Damn – I read the first line, and had it confused with the Steve Miller Band’s classic “Take the Money and Run”. *That’s* more the Palin clan’s speed, IMHO.

@al2o3cr: I once rephrased words of “Take the Money and Run” to be about my dog and my roommate’s dog, both of whom are now in heaven. I often change classic rock lyrics to be songs about my dead dog or the neighbor’s cat. Perhaps one of many signs of insanity.

But here’s my stab at Steve Miller Band singing about the Palins:

This heres a story about Bristol P and Levi, too
Two young lovers with nothin better to do
Than sit around mom’s fancy new house, get high, and watch the tube
And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose

They headed down to, ooh, old look out
That’s where they ran into a great big make out
Levi shot his wad while rockin Bristol’s castle
Bristol and Levi took the tabloid money and run

Because mama Sarah always says:
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run

Johnny Mack is a candidate trying to win Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He aint gonna let the black dude win the election
He makes his livin off of demonizing taxes

Mama Sarah, whoa, whoa, she slipped away
Johnny Mack caught up to her the very next day
He offered her a spot on the ticket, hey
You know the Unicorn got away

The Palins headed down south and Sarah’s still running for office today
Singin go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run
Go on take the money and run

take the money and run is the title of woody’s first movie.
all i can hear right now is the teller talking to bank robbing woody,
“that doesn’t say gun, it says gub.”

heard a snippet of kathy griffin on the view yesterday, just returning from wasilla. she said, “if you like crystal meth, you’ll LOVE wasilla!”

steve miller never sounded better…+1
you too manchu. we’re getting close to enough content for a StinqueSongbook..

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