Last fall, before the bottom fell out of America, we surveyed the state of our nation’s rapid decline, and the time it would take to recover.
It was really a survey of our nation’s government. The country as a whole, well, we’d muddle along as always, perhaps worse off than before, but substantially unchanged.
We were adorable in our implicit optimism. As bad as things were, we had no fucking clue how bad they could get.
Saturday night, shots were fired in Louisville.
1. Always use different elaborate passwords when signing up for online accounts.
2. Check your monthly credit-card statements for suspicious purchases.
3. Monitor your FICO score.
4. Don’t access your bank or credit card websites using public wifi.
5. Shred all financial statements.
6. File tax returns as soon as possible.
7. Fuck it, Equifax is just going to leak your name, Social Security number, birthdate, address, and driver’s license anyway, then generously offer one year of credit monitoring for something that will screw up the rest of your life.
DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see that headline? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! they hate me, DUCKY! THEY HATE ME! How can that be? Booohooobooooohoooo!
Insane Kremlin chew toy Queen FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! is overwhelmed with depression by the fact that everyone in the universe understands what a twisted treasonous, pathetic piece of owned shit he is and righteously wants him to just go and fucking throw himself off of the 14th Street bridge.
The Washington Post reported this week, “The media clearly matters to Trump, however. And Trump’s penchant for holding grudges seems to be sucking whatever joy should come with winning the ultimate prize.”
HA!
HA! HA!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see Putincakes?
Per usual the American press gets it completely sideways when confronted by complete and UTTER FUCKING EVIL.
Trumpligula’s first official act as president is to praise a criminally insane Soviet-era communist party psychopath who has gotten control of Kazakhstan where the Trump operation is likely providing laundering services for organized crime.
Then Flynn has a mysterious conversation with a Russian ambassador to assure him of policy changes he can count on under a Trumpligula administration. Reporters are all over themselves pointing out inconsistencies in the statements by Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer and insane crack-addled harpy face-biter Kellyann Conway.
Not a month into the Reign of Fuckface, US intelligence agencies are putting the White House on blackout status because the fucking place is so obviously owned by the fucking FSB.
Because spending money to put people back to work never accomplished anything …
“Not long ago, I was at a dinner with the chief executive of a large bank.” [NYT]
“But the business of America is business, as Calvin Coolidge said long ago in an alternative universe…” [Mark Steyn/NRO]
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @ManchuCandidate: Summer definitely disappeared.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 BTW, has your favorite fundies gone to Ratpure?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Come on dude shut your mouth. Shut your mouth Never like to hear I take bribes Won't you please…
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.