100 Days of EPIC! LOSING! Precedent FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! Feels Really Bad About Everything So Write Letters to Him Encouraging Him to Jump Off of The 14th Street Bridge

TRUMP IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY!

DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see my Pooteecakes? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! get him on the phone for me, pretty please!

Strange, Orange and Bloated, FUCKFACE von CLOWNSTICK wanders the halls of the White House alone babbling nonsensically about the forces of evil arrayed against him, comforted only by staffers who jump out of potted plants in the hallways wearing Vladimir Putin masks and offering to sodomize him, according to Politico.com

The insane trust-fund twit is apparently upset that AMERICA! refused to shoot itself in the face because he, THE! PLENIPOTENTIARY! would find that amusing and would fund important new sources of revenue for people he wants to impress who likely regard him as less valuable as a Hershey squirt stain on a pair of St Vincent de Paul thrift shop boxer shorts.

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Karmamandering

God bless the Freedom Caucus.

No, really.

Well, okay, sorta. Thanks to the House Deplorables, who resisted Ryancare because it didn’t drown enough puppies, the whole bill came crashing down, and we’re enjoying a bout of tantric schadenfreude that even Sting would envy.

Heck, we may yet escape this Administration alive.

We’ve seen from the start that Donald Trump sucks at running the government. We didn’t see until this week that Paul Ryan sucks at running the House. All those fire-breathers, free at last to turn These United States into scorched earth, and all they can do is immolate themselves, bless their shriveled hearts.

Which leads us to wonder whether this was ironically inevitable: Is extreme gerrymandering, the source of Republican power in the House, also the source of its weakness?

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TRUMPLIGULA! Enraged That Democrats Defied HIM!, THE! PLENIPOTENTIARY! and Refused To Shoot The Poor and Sick and Themselves In the Face and Repeal Obamacare and Replace It With Tax-Advantaged Firing Squads!

How can the Democrats live with themselves and call themselves AMERICA!ns after refusing to hunt down the sick, the infirm, the aged and stuff Gatling guns in their guts, firing and shouting praises to FREE!dom as their intestines fly out their backs in the name of shareholder value, exactly as the Founding Fathers intended?

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SEE THAT HOLE!?! SEE THAT?!! RATS USED TO COME OUT OF THERE! NOW IT’S GUSHING BARPHING CATS!

TRUMP IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY!

DUCKY! DUCKY! Do you see that hole, DUCKY! DUCKY! ? RATS! used to come out of there!

Politico reports this week that even apocalypse-baiting Republican stalwarts are admitting that TRUMPLIGULA! is completely BATSHIT! crazy and ready to be sedated with horse tranquilizers and readied to face indictment for treason.

A multi-sourced investigation by Politico on TRUMPLIGULA!’s obvious face-biting insanity found, “These are Republicans close to Trump who claimed that the President Of The United States is paranoid, delusional, and believes that Obama wiretapped him. Wallace’s comments on MSNBC were a statement that the President might be mentally ill.

Before anyone asks, the constitutional standard for the removal of a president contains no discussion of mental fitness. It would be difficult to nearly impossible to remove Trump from office due to mental illness. It would have to be demonstrated that Trump is physically unable to perform the job of president.”

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NO ONE’S CAT CAN STOP BARPHING!
Precedent FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! on TV Now! Hide Your Cats!

Undiscovered Planets

“Soon after Charla McComic’s son lost his job, his health-insurance premium dropped from $567 per month to just $88, a ‘blessing from God’ that she believes was made possible by President Trump… The price change was actually thanks to a subsidy made possible by former president Barack Obama’s Affordable Care Act.” —Washington Post

  • Moronus
  • Dimwithea
  • Idiotia

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TRUMP CAMPAIGN STATE CHAIR ARRESTED WHILE PREPARING TO MAGA-MIZE A LITTLE BOY IN THE ASS AT A SUPER 8 MOTEL!

http://www.koco.com/article/oklahoma-democratic-party-chair-calls-for-sen-ralph-shortey-to-suspend-himself/9133163?ref=patrick.netOklahoma state Sen. Ralph Shortey, GOP ICON! and TRUMPLIGULA!’s OK state campaign chair is facing numerous charges after he was arrested in a Super 8 Motel room preparing to DO! THE! MAGA! on the asshole of a little boy, exactly as the Founding Fathers intended.

According to KOCO reporter Bret Buganski‏, police are recommending the Republican lawmaker be charged with soliciting prostitution of a minor, prostitution within 1,000 feet of church and transporting purpose of prostitution.

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