You May Have Already Won!!!

FreeMoney

Looks like Ted Cruz is targeting the “Keep the government’s hands off my Medicare” crowd with his latest mailer which tries to entice recipients with promises of free money from the government. The Huffinton Post reports:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is out with a deceptive new mailer that masquerades as official government business and promises people there’s a “check enclosed” when it’s actually asking for money instead.

A New Jersey resident sent The Huffington Post the latest piece of mail he received from Cruz’s campaign. The envelope appears to have come from Cruz’s Senate office and has his name printed the same way it often is for Senate business. In small type the mailer clarifies that it is for “personal” matters and was not sent at taxpayers’ expense. It also promises a check.

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Careful What You Wish For

If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks in two.Title: “I Dare You: 30 Sealed Seductions”

Author: Susie Bright

Rank: 50

Blurb: “From sexpert Susie Bright, this luxe box contains 30 seductive prompts and dares, each sealed in an envelope ready for the taking. Select an envelope, tear it open, and read the card aloud to discover what comes next.”

Review: “Don’t forget the mop!”

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Trump Delivers Iowa Concession Speech

I Will Be Your Father Figure

Obey.Title: “The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups”

Author: Leonard Sax

Rank: 88

Blurb: “Many parents are afraid of seeming too dictatorial, and end up abdicating their authority rather than taking a stand with their own children. If kids refuse to eat anything green and demand pizza instead, some parents give in, inadvertently raising children who are more likely to become obese. If children are given smartphones and allowed to spend the bulk of their free time texting, playing video games, and surfing the Internet, they become increasingly reliant on peers and the media for guidance on how to live, rather than looking to their parents.”

Blurb from One of Our Nation’s Foremost Compulsive Gamblers: “The family unit is in unprecedented decline and under assault from a wide variety of cultural forces.” —Bill Bennett

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Abe Vigoda (1921-2016)

Still not sure I believe it.

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Colour My Curses

Your fucking keywords are no good here.Titles/Ranks:

  • “Adult Coloring Books: Swear Word Coloring Books” (#1)
  • “The Sweary Coloring Book for Adults (Swear Word Coloring Book)” (#2)
  • “Swear Word Adult Coloring Book: 30 Stress Relief Words to Color” (#5)
  • “Swear word coloring book: Relaxation Series : Coloring Books For Adults, coloring books for adults relaxation, coloring book for grown ups, COLORAMA Coloring Book (Volume 2)” (#9)
  • “Swear Word Adult Coloring Book: Hilarious Sweary Coloring book For Fun and Stress Relieve” (#21)
  • “Swear Word Coloring Book #2: An Adult Coloring Book of 40 Hilarious, Rude and Funny Swearing and Cursing Designs” (#43)
  • “Swear Word Coloring Book: The Joy of Sweary Curse Words for Adults” (#46)
  • “Swear word coloring book: Relaxation Series : Coloring Books For Adults, coloring books for adults relaxation, coloring book for grown ups, COLORAMA Coloring Book (Volume 1)” (#53)
  • “Sweary Coloring Book: Swear Words Coloring Book with Swearing” (#54)

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The One When We Really Were Greeted as Liberators

Soon to be a Major Motion Abomination.Title: “13 Hours: The Inside Account of What Really Happened In Benghazi”

Author: Mitchell Zuckoff

Rank: 45 (“#1 Best Seller in African History”)

Blurb: “A team of six American security operators fought to repel the attackers and protect the Americans stationed there… This is their personal account, never before told, of what happened during the thirteen hours of that now-infamous attack.”

Review: “Hopefully, an ‘updated’ version is printed after Hillary goes to federal prison.”

Customers Also Bought: “Glock Reference Guide”

Footnote: Glad to see we’re all on the same page! We’ll get to your show-trial of Hillary as soon as we’re done prosecuting the politicians who ignored the Bin Laden memo and ginned up a baseless war in Iraq.

13 Hours [Amazon]