The Tragedy of Unencumbered Joy

Hop on Two Pops.Title: “I Am a Bunny”

Authors: Ole Risom and Richard Scarry

Rank: 94

Blurb: “In the spring, he picks flowers, and in the summer, watches the frogs in the pond. In the fall, he sees the animals getting ready for winter. And when winter comes, he watches the snow falling from the sky… then curls up in his hollow tree to dream about Spring.”

Review: “The reader sees an adorable little bunny dressed in red overalls, leaping into the air, trying to catch one of the two-dozen beautifully rendered butterflies.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers”

Footnote: It was the Strangers who taught Bunny that red overalls were kinda gay, and chasing butterflies was for sissies. Only years later, when the Wise Owls declared that the Strangers could go fuck themselves, did Bunny realize an important truth: Elaborate metaphors go off the rails really, really fast.

I Am a Bunny [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

About Fucking Time

fuck yeah“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.”

SCOTUS

Patrick Macnee (1922 – 2015)

And yes, I saw The Avengers first run:

patrick-macnee-gossip-453818409

Dick Van Patten (1928-2015)

Dick_Van_Patten

Just Like That Time You Left the Coffee on the Car

Don’t worry, everything’s cool — we strongly doubt they would have posted it without a happy ending.

[via Kottke]

Downfall for Kids!

And your little schnauzer, too.Title: “Hitler’s Last Days: The Death of the Nazi Regime and the World’s Most Notorious Dictator”

Author: Bill O’Reilly

Rank: 83

Blurb: “Facing defeat, Adolf Hitler flees to a secret bunker with his new wife, Eva Braun, and his beloved dog, Blondi.”

Wait. What. Blondi? “Adapted from Bill O’Reilly’s historical thriller Killing Patton, this book will have young readers — and grown-ups too — hooked on history.”

Review: “The title is a little misleading as this book covers General Patton more than it does Hitler.”

Bonus Batshit Review: “If as I suspect O’Reilly is telling us that Hitler and Eva Braun died in a bunker, then this is just propaganda. Bill O’Reilly is nothing more than a disinformation specialist. Many new books have come out in the last five years proving that Hitler and Braun made it to Argentina in a submarine. There are written documents and photographs. He lived his life out there in South America. The US GOVT knew all about it and could not do anything. The Nazis brought great wealth with them and Argentina welcomed them. This book should be discontinued. Go read the real histories you will find here at Amazon Books.”

Customers Also Bought: “The O’Reilly Factor for Kids”

Footnote: Learning that Hitler had a beloved dog certainly helps humanize the guy.

Hitler’s Last Days [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

GoT Milked

Winter Sale is Coming.Title: “The World of Ice & Fire: The Untold History of Westeros and the Game of Thrones”

Authors: George R. R. Martin, Elio Garcia, Linda Antonsson

Rank: 89

Blurb: “In a collaboration that’s been years in the making, Martin has teamed with Elio M. García, Jr., and Linda Antonsson, the founders of the renowned fan site Westeros.org — perhaps the only people who know this world almost as well as its visionary creator.”

Review: “This is not Book 6 in the series, nor should it be seen as a substitute for it. It’s also not the Silmarillion. That is, it’s not a detailed and exhaustive narrative on what has come before Books 1-5. It’s a coffee table book with gorgeous artwork and some tidbits of information on the world of Westeros, most of which will be posted in various wiki entries for free within 60 days.”

Customers Also Bought: “Monopoly: Game of Thrones Collector’s Edition Board Game”, “Game of Thrones: House Sigil Coaster Set”, “Game of Thrones: Stark Direwolf”, “Funko POP Game of Thrones: White Walker Vinyl Figure”, “Game of Thrones Hand of King Pin”, “Allntrends Women’s V Shirt Mother Of Dragons”, and “A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook”

Footnote: We hear that Roast Shireen is delicious.

The World of Ice & Fire [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]