nojo

Old Man Yells at Cloud

I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand.Title: “God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy”

Author: Mike Huckabee

Rank: 74

Blurb: “Mike Huckabee asks, ‘Have I been taken to a different planet than the one on which I grew up?'”

Review: “As far as Mike Huckabee is concerned this certainly isn’t the America that he grew up in. Common sense seems to be gone with the wind. Standards of decency, patriotism, religious freedom, the Second Amendment and respect for the other person’s point of view have all come under increasing attack by progressives in what he refers to as ‘Bubble-ville’ (New York, Los Angeles and Washington, DC). Why if you dare to give your child a well-deserved spanking then you might be labelled as some sort of Neanderthal. Parents are not supposed to have rules, expectations, consequences or a paddle.”

Customers Also Bought: “God & Guns” by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Footnote: We’re just four years younger than Nugent’s bass player, and this isn’t the America we grew up in, either. The America we grew up in was enduring a winless decade-long war, civil-rights struggles, attempts to restrict voting, resistance to healthcare expansion, venal Republican Presidential candidates—

Oh, wait.

God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Letter from CenturyLink Field

The More They Know

Data With Destiny.Title: “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business”

Author: Charles Duhigg

Rank: 74

Blurb: “Distilling vast amounts of information into engrossing narratives that take us from the boardrooms of Procter & Gamble to sidelines of the NFL to the front lines of the civil rights movement, Duhigg presents a whole new understanding of human nature and its potential.”

Seemingly Benign Author Quote: “Target studies our habits to see if they can predict major life events. And the company is very, very successful. Oftentimes, they know what is going on in someone’s life better than that person’s parents.”

Read more »

Careful What You Wish For

Self-actualize unto others as you would have them self-actualize unto you.Title: “Own Your Life: Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love”

Author: Sally Clarkson

Rank: 13

Blurb: “Do you ever long for days full of joy and energy — days that bring out the best version of you rather than leave you exhausted? Do you sometimes catch yourself wishing life was more impactful and fulfilling? In a world that’s moving so fast, it’s easy to lose your sense of purpose. So now is the time to make each moment of your ordinary, everyday, beautiful existence count. It’s time to own your life.”

Review: “The first time I ever came across Sally Clarkson was as a keynote speaker at a big homeschool conference about a decade ago!”

Customers Also Bought: “Make it Happen: Surrender Your Fear. Take the Leap. Live On Purpose.”

Footnote: Truth be told, there are some folks whom we wish lived with shallow intention and timid faith. Short of that, take away their guns.

Own Your Life [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Cosa Nostradamus

Eyes Wide Shut.Title: “Illuminatiam: The First Testament Of The Illuminati”

Author: Illuminatiam

Rank: 32

Blurb: “Fear not for your war-stricken, poverty-ridden planet: help is on the way. The Illuminati’s path for humanity — our Universal Design — has spanned throughout centuries to safeguard the human species from extinction. As this age of War comes to an end, the new dawn will usher in a society where all people, in all places, can live in Abundance.”

About the Author: “The Illuminati is an elite collective of leaders, business authorities, and other influential members of this planet. The organization unites superiors of the world in an unrestrictive and private domain — free of political, religious, and geographical boundaries — to further the prosperity of the human species as a whole.”

Review: “This is where it gets weird.”

Customers Also Bought: “Freemason Logo – Square & Compass Symbol – Illuminati Men’s T-shirt Tee”

Footnote: We have a problem squaring a centuries-old secret society with a Twitter account.

Illuminatiam [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Rule 36

Fap Fap Revenge.Title: “Images You Should Not Masturbate To”

Authors: Graham Johnson and Rob Hibbert

Rank: 54

Blurb: “Temporarily out of stock”

Review: “Kindle edition took both hands.”

Customers Also Bought: “Rude Hand Gestures of the World”

Footnote: Feet.

Images You Should Not Masturbate To [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Sense and Sensibility

Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!Title: “Animals (Baby Touch and Feel)”

Author: DK Publishing

Rank: 100

Blurb: “With padded covers, simple images, and an amazing range of novelty textures, Baby Touch and Feel books immediately capture the attention of the very youngest children to create an experience they’ll want to repeat over and over again.”

Review: “THERE IS NOTHING TO TOUCH OR FEEL!”

Customers Also Bought: “Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Click’n Learn Remote”

Footnote: We hear there’s a grownup version featuring Roger Daltrey.

Animals [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]