Our special election-night Open Thread/Triumph of the Shill is less than ninety minutes away, but already supporters of Silly Party Conservative Doug Hoffman are starting up their drinking game — a swig for every hoax they announce:

“Hoffman Poll Watcher Has Tires Slashed,” blared Red State, with photos of the truck and its flat tire. And Hoffman himself chimed in.

“We just had a report that one of our pollsters in Clinton County just had their tires slashed,” Hoffman said. “So I think the Democrats are doing everything they possibly can to steal this election away from the 23rd District.”

But the local cops disagree: “This was not a tire slashing,” said the police captain. “This was some guy who drove over a bottle and cut his tire.”

On the other hand, Hoffmaniacs are “yelling anti-choice stuff at voters,” says a Demrat on the scene. “Apparently, there’s some woman claiming to be a commissioner. Commissioner of what, I don’t know. She’s from Texas, I think, and she won’t leave.”

Hoffman Camp, Right-Wing Bloggers Accuse Dems Of Slashing Supporter’s Car — Police Say He Drove Over Bottle [TPM]

Police Called To NY-23 Polling Sites [NY Daily News, via Think Progress]

Image: Ashley Todd Halloween Mask [Bloggerheads]

Never mind our fear of being stiffed by the Public Option — happily, there’s a low-cost alternative that’s just as effective:

Backed by some of the most powerful members of the Senate, a little-noticed provision in the healthcare overhaul bill would require insurers to consider covering Christian Science prayer treatments as medical expenses.

The provision was inserted by Sen. Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah) with the support of Democratic Sens. John F. Kerry and the late Edward M. Kennedy, both of Massachusetts, home to the headquarters of the Church of Christ, Scientist.

Kerry’s flack says the provision “would prevent insurers from discriminating against benefits that qualify as spiritual care if the care is recognized by the IRS as a legitimate medical expense.” Since it’s looking like reform will be the death of us, perhaps we should get a mail-order ministry so at least we can deduct our misery.

Healthcare provision seeks to embrace prayer treatments [LAT]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hps8svVLe3U

It started out as a hearing for the DC gay-marriage bill. It ended with a very immodest proposal.

During D.C. hearing on same-sex marriage, witness interrupts by proposing to his partner [Think Progress]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Most Rev. Richard J. Malone, Bishop of Portland, Me., bringing the smackdown.

REFERENDUM ALERT TO FAITHFUL CATHOLICS

[subtle, no?  –Ed.]

A group of self-described Catholics who have chosen to dissent publicly from established Catholic doctrine on the nature of marriage as the union of one man and one woman recently published a paid political ad entitled “Statement of Conscience by Maine Catholics Regarding Marriage Equality.”

The evidence for their dissent runs through the statement and is crystallized in the following sentence: “…we find disturbing any suggestion that formal Church teaching obligates all Catholics to oppose marriage equality.”

In contrast, please let your conscience be formed by these clear and authoritative words of Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger): “In those situations where homosexual unions … have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty.” (Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, July 2003)

A Catholic whose conscience has been properly formed by Scripture and the teachings of the Catholic Church cannot support same sex marriage. Please vote YES on question 1.

Is the correct answer —

(A) “Please send your corporation’s Form 1120-X, together with your long-overdue tax payment, to Internal Revenue Service, Ogden UT 84201-0012.”

(B) “As for forming your conscience about that sexual abuse stuff, and rumors about cover-ups, that you keep hearing about in the media, we ask you to keep an open mind.  We will fully address this issue with you soon.  Eventually.  Promise.”

As we prepare for tonight’s exciting Open Thread/Bonfire of the Moderates, let’s check in with the message being sent to Republican radical leftists:

John Boehner: “This lady clearly has an agenda that’s different from that of the Republican Party. She was out there to promote herself.”

Newt Gingrich: “I’m very, very let down because she told everybody she was a Republican, and she said she was a loyal Republican.”

Michelle Malkin: “Hey, how did that six-figure RNC donation to the NRCC plus $85,000 to the New York GOP plus nearly half-million-dollar investment in advertising and other independent expenditures on behalf of radical leftist Dede Scozzafava work out? She repaid the GOP by endorsing Democrat candidate Bill Owens. Some gratitude, eh?”

Rush Limbaugh: “We can say that she’s guilty of widespread bestiality. She has screwed every RINO in the country.”

Well, um, okay then. Next time we hear a complaint that “teabagging” is being taken out of context, we’ll bear that in mind.

Turns out we’re not the only ones who got caught up in the recent Monty Python documentary. Chris Christie’s campaign for New Jersey governor lifted a clip from Flying Circus for a YouTube ad, which has brought out an anti-endorsement from Michael Palin:

“I’m surprised that a former U.S. Attorney isn’t aware of his copyright infringement when he uses our material without permission. He’s clearly made a terrible mistake. It was the endorsement of Sarah Palin he was after — not that of Michael Palin.”

Not to be out-pissed, Terry Jones weighs in as well:

“It is totally outrageous that a former US Attorney knows so little about the law that he thinks he can rip off people. On the other hand — another of Bush’s legal appointees was Alberto Gonzales and he didn’t seem to know much about the law either…”

The ad has been pulled from YouTube, although HuffPo has it. Alas, it wasn’t the Blackmail Sketch.

Chris Christie Rips Off Monty Python, Troupe Threatens Suit [HuffPo]

Michael Bloomberg may be sitting on a 15-point lead, but he’s not taking it for granted:

How badly does Michael Bloomberg want a third term as mayor of New York? The billionaire is spending $35,000 an hour out of his own pocket.

He could burn through more than $100 million on what is already the most expensive self-financed campaign in American history.

We’ll trust NBC’s research on this one, only noting that if true, Bloomberg is spending more than Ross Perot and Steve Forbes. And aiming low, in comparison.

Bloomberg Is $pending 35K an Hour in Mayoral Campaign [NBC New York, via Raw Story]