Fear and Loathing in Upstate New York
Our special election-night Open Thread/Triumph of the Shill is less than ninety minutes away, but already supporters of Silly Party Conservative Doug Hoffman are starting up their drinking game — a swig for every hoax they announce:
“Hoffman Poll Watcher Has Tires Slashed,” blared Red State, with photos of the truck and its flat tire. And Hoffman himself chimed in.
“We just had a report that one of our pollsters in Clinton County just had their tires slashed,” Hoffman said. “So I think the Democrats are doing everything they possibly can to steal this election away from the 23rd District.”
But the local cops disagree: “This was not a tire slashing,” said the police captain. “This was some guy who drove over a bottle and cut his tire.”
On the other hand, Hoffmaniacs are “yelling anti-choice stuff at voters,” says a Demrat on the scene. “Apparently, there’s some woman claiming to be a commissioner. Commissioner of what, I don’t know. She’s from Texas, I think, and she won’t leave.”
Hoffman Camp, Right-Wing Bloggers Accuse Dems Of Slashing Supporter’s Car — Police Say He Drove Over Bottle [TPM]
Police Called To NY-23 Polling Sites [NY Daily News, via Think Progress]
Image: Ashley Todd Halloween Mask [Bloggerheads]
“We just had a report that one of our pollsters in Clinton County….”
Typical: Hoffman is trusting pollsters, when he should be trusting the people. THERE IS A WORLD OUTSIDE THE BELTWAY, HOFFMAN!!1!
DEVELOPING HARD: That racist Justice of the Peace down in Louisiana? Hanging up the skates. NBC reporting on the teevee just now that he has resigned.
DEVELOPING HARDER: Too early in Virginia — Knuckledragger leads.
OK Stinquers … I just clicked the link and spent a bit too much money for a Stinque hat. So get your gear on.
Put this on the fucking TV: Hoffman bit my ballsack after I paid him $5 to clean my asshole with his tongue in the parking lot of the Hannaford’s. Where’s the reporters when you need them?
@blogenfreude: I’m saving up for the travel mug. And I’m so glad nojo tastefully refrained from putting a subtitle on the thong.
@Mistress Cynica: Not that it didn’t cross my mind.
Relatives from Texas are like fish.
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MELLBELL • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I mooch Disney+ from my sister and HBO Max from my ex. Still need a Hulu hookup though!
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NOJO • Software Update of the Year @bruce.desertrat: I have failed to get any work done since that dropped.
BRUCE.DESERTRAT • Software Update of the Year Disturbing my cow-orkers laughing at this....
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @¡Andrew!: I tried RRR a few times at Benedick’s insistence, just couldn’t last. And now…
¡ANDREW! • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @nojo: I watched the clips on YouTube. Lady Gaga’s performance was extraordinarily honest and…
NOJO • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @ManchuCandidate: Oh gee, that starts tomorrow? Haven’t heard from Mellbell, so guess not.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Quentin Tarantino presents Action Joe and Mister Z @¡Andrew!: I passed on the Oscars. Enjoyed the movie.