Travesty Tomorrow, Carpetbaggers Tonight!

McDonnell in Virginia. No surprise there.

Thanks, Janet. We’ll be manning the Faaaabulous Vote in Maine, where the polls have just closed and there is positively no news so I will just refresh the Portland Press-Herald website like a maniac.

(Update: Knuckledragger WIN in Va., Fatboy and Mr. G. Sachs no call.)

(Update 2: Maine Question 1 — Team No leads 45 to 6. It’s a small state with huge tracts of land, remember.)

MONITORING: Said Press-Herald website reports that South Portland ran out of ballots and had to photocopy new ones. I am intrigued. As, I am sure, the Team Yes folks, for are probably screaming FRAUD! so loud you could hear it in Biddeford.

What? There’s an election in California? Garimendi? Really, they all just swap nametags in this state.

Tonight’s pressing questions:

1) In what state would an election for governor ever be a referendum on the President?

2) What is “new” natural gas?

nojo: Nobody truly gave a damn about Tauscher when she was in office. Old-school Clinton-era New Democrat. Yawn. Why should they care now about her replacement?

(But also: New Natural Gas requires that you thank the cow personally.)

UPDATE: Team No out to a big early lead, but it’s all Portland so far.

@chicago bureau: Bangor Daily News latest numbers:
No 1550 73.46%
Yes 560 26.54%

Mistress Cynica: Yeah, and the Bangor Daily News has the precincts which are still out, which is very useful. Screw the Press-Herald!

@chicago bureau: Yikes, it’s almost dead even:

Yes 3837 50.67%
No 3736 49.33%

Q1 in Maine just went to dead-heat on the vote count. (Outta my head, Cynica!)

You dig into the numbers a bit to see what going on in Maine:

(Dirty lib position first)

Q1 (Gheys) — NO 49:51 YES
Q4 (TABOR Fun!) — NO 61:39 YES
Q5 (MediPot) — DUDE 62:38 NO

Not exactly a strong fit, there.

In other news: in this afternoon’s Maine Lottery draw, the Pick 3 was 4-2-3, and the Pick-4 was 4-7-0-8.

Just watched Sicko again – and again I weep when the Cubans diagnose and cure the 9/11 workers.

@blogenfreude:

Makes you wonder how the rest of the world might view us if we sent billions of dollars of food and medical aid instead of bombs.

Oh Rachel. “Northern Country?” It’s “The North Country.” FAIL.

Up in Maine, with 5% of precincts and 20% of registered voters in… and it’s NO by 9 points.

It does not look good in NJ. Not from the returns, the republican suburbs always report early, no, its the reporter’s tones, the Fat Fuck campaign is openly celebrating already.

There was hilarious video of Christie the Hut voting, that man’s suit jacket could house the Gosselin family. He did not fit in the booth, his gigantic, oxen-like hindquarters was sticking a foot out from between the curtains.

@Original Andrew: That’s socialism, sir. Bombs are exports.

Oh shit, I have to leave the office to go vote no on a bunch of silly San Francisco propositions.

Open Left has a running thread with a blogger on the ground at Team No HQ. Apparently, they took Portland big. They’ve also scored in Lewiston/Auburn, which reportedly is huge Catholic territory. And Orono, home of the U of Maine. (Update — Fix in numbers according to Open Left shows a loss, 60-40, in Lewiston.)

According to them, they’ve also taken Kennebunkport. Suck on that, Poppy.

With about half the available voters in, it’s NO on Q1 by five points. Meanwhile, on medical marijuana, its DUDE in a runaway. (Or, perhaps, a staggeraway.)

(ADD: Bangor goes NO on Q1, but it’s a close win.)

is that Zero Mostel? Best name ever.

Wow, Emile Hirsch has really let himself go.

Promnight: Mom didn’t expect much, was pleasantly surprised.

Looks like Gov-elect McDonnell won by 60-40. That’s a whuppin’.

South Portland 2:1 to the No side, per Open Left.

ADD: Yes takes Augusta in a tight one. Disappointing.

In Joisey, it’s tightening like a belt. (Dodges brick.) Christie now up 4.

NBC waits 39 minutes before projecting Bloomberg.

Over on Larry King Live, Jesse Ventura is rocking the weakest mullet ever.

@chicago bureau: The most committed lefties are all glum now.

Oh, the humanity. NJ’s governor is the most powerful in the US, has more direct control of more agencies, has more direct appointment power over more employees, than anywhere else.

What scares me most is that now there will be 500 or 1,000 connected ex-government office holders with good resumes, out looking for jobs, like, for one, my job. And thousands of GOP dickwads, too, and the GOP will be pressing nonprofits and lobbying firms to hire their pals, too.

I’m drinking Hnedricks martinis all night, why the fuck not.

Christie is evil, he is, he has no interest in anything but partisan politics, he’s a malicious, vengeful fuck, too. His uncle is a Genovese soldier, by the way, its true, in NJ, everyone is one degree of seperation from the mafia, except maybe Corzine.

Oh, this will be bad, all the people I worked with on campaigns back in the day will be calling me now, the ones who wouldn’t return my calls when they were deputy chief of staff of the various agencies.

Christie will probably start with a decree that all firstborn males under 6 months old be delivered to the cavernous warehouses which store his food supply, for fattening.

It’s a final in Portland — NO 71:29 YES. That’s also a whuppin’ — but is it enough?

[ADD: Both major metropolitan newspapers have massive FAIL going on right now.]

Holy Christ, Jane Hamsher — get some make-up tips, immediately.

[EDIT: it could be lighting. Still: yikes.]

@chicago bureau: Even I noticed that she rolled around in the dirt before her segment.

Reporting from Atlanta, pixie Mary Norwood leads with 47%, and will be having her election night party at the Varsity, Atlanta’s favorite 50s throwback place to get greasy onion rings. It just drips Atlanta, besides Ted Turner and Ludacris. One of teh Gheyz running for Ward 6 leads in a five-way.

I’m soooo glad I grew up before all those parent-spy products became available. All we had to do was set the watch back five minutes and blame our tardiness on Timex.

UH-OH — MSNBC UNCALLS NYC MAYOR RACE. Not-Bloomberg calls to concede anyway.

I has a sad, I have to cry. Fat Fuck is so evil. He is not even a Christie Whitman or Tom Kean, two of the last of the old school benign republicans, he is a fat fuck, fatter than Rove, meaner than Rove, stupider than Rove, he’s just a fucking fat fucking disaster. Oh, woe is me.

NBC takes back outsourced NYC projection. Could we have some fun there yet?

@chicago bureau: Just for shits & giggles, I’d love it if Bloomberg blew all that money on a loss.

It’s too early for any results here in WA, plus we had an all mail-in ballot election, so we probs won’t know anything till tomorrow–like whether Mr. OA and I will be allowed to keep those extra gay-apartheid domestic partner rightsees.

It’s so calming having one’s relationship decided by voters.

Anyone else gonna watch the new V? It comes on right after the new T.J. Hooker.

nojo: Probably not. But if Thompson calls Bloomberg back, look the fuck out — it could be 2000 all over again.

AND…. there are reports of voting machines not working right in NY-23. Uh-oh, again.

Keef went home. Slacker.

Up in Maine, 81% of possible voters have spoken, and it is a dead fucking heat.

NY-23 has 20% in, and it’s the Dem by 7.

[ADD: Report from No on 1 Boiler Room has it NO 57:43 YES at the moment. But they may not have poll watchers in all precincts, so it’s grain of salt time.]

@Original Andrew: Didn’t watch the old V. Then again, didn’t watch the old Battlestar. I’ll wait for the Geek Vote.

So if I-1033 passes, does that mean the Obama presidency is a total failure?

The AP wants to know!

We watched The Virgin Spring and it was awesome. Now I go bye-bye.

Clapping and cheering at No on 1 HQ in Portland — unsure what the story is at the moment… maybe just an uptick in the numbers. Monitoring.

@chicago bureau: Is that how to read it? I assumed that the metrics were unrelated, i.e., the votes collected represent 81% of registered voters, but only 22% of those have been tabulated.

CHRISTIE CALLED WINNER

mellbell: There are a bunch of towns in Maine which have, like, 18 voters. That explains that, I figure.

Breaking: New Jersey chooses asshole over asshole.

@Promnight: I think you should pack up the family, put them on the boat, and move to the Caribbean. Srsly.

@chicago bureau: Fair enough.

@nojo:

I strongly recommend the original V. If there’s a better sci-fi/rise of fascism in the US movie out there, I’m not aware of it.

WCSH-Portland (NBC) is having a roundtable with political reporter guy and two state senators, one from each party. They are not throwing chairs and are actually having an amicable, cordial conversation. BOOOO!

@Original Andrew: So Netflixed. Although it looks like everyone else is grabbing it first.

Did you know FRS is fueled by Queercetin?

Meanwhile, at the Holiday Inn Portland, they’ve turned up the music in the ballroom at the No on 1 party. Never a good sign.

[ADD: Absentee votes in Portland put NO a further 4500 votes to the good. Presuming 50% turnout, that’s a full percentage point for the good guys.]

[ADD: National LGBTQ?Q leaders are bringing out “win or lose” talk. Looking generally glum. Uh-oh.]

Well now, I am going to take a percocet, for shits and giggles.

Meanwhile on CNN, it’s David Gergen and Ari Fleisher! Guess how they’re spinning it…

nojo: Ari with a “look where we’ve coming in the last 25 years, but you still can’t get married because I said so” slant. Fucking. Weak.

@chicago bureau: I actually just switched to Fox — oops, Shep’s segment is over. Is Keef finished with the canned material?

Oh, BTW: Portland, Me. has a black mayor. How’s that tasting for you, cubbie?

@nojo: Nope. And they’ve already previewed the World Series segment, so… check back in twenty minutes.

@mellbell: Well, back to Ari, then, who’s saying NY has nothing to do with social issues, and that the Big Tent GOP is back. Which is why Ari isn’t on Fox.

No on 1 twitter feed deathly silent at the moment. Uh-oh.

[ADD: Bangor Daily News has Yes winning now. Double uh-oh.]

@chicago bureau: Maine too close to call with 28% reporting, NY-23 shows Demrat leading with 56% reporting. Bloomberg up by 40k with 94% in.

nojo: CNN calls, or re-calls, Bloomberg race. So there.

CNN calls Bloomberg. Is it a projection when all the votes are in?

Breaking: Not-Marryin’ Judge resigns.

WCSH Portland: No on 1 now leading by 264, out of 225,000 or so cast. Yikes.

Coop runs the vodka-warehouse clip Keef ran last night. Have we reached #1 in the World Series play list?

@nojo: Yes. And, you know, I don’t mind it terribly much, if only because it’s given me a good Christmas gift idea for my brother, assuming other family members can be convinced to chip in.

@mellbell: I must admit, I didn’t mind hearing Curt Gowdy call a number of the clips.

@chicago bureau: So Bloomberg blows $100,000,000 to eke out a five-point win over a nobody. That’s a mandate!

nojo: Munnie runs the world.

@Original Andrew: Starship Troopers was horrifically bad, except for the line: “Nuke ’em, Rico!”

A buck Karl Rove calls this guy and asks him to run for office: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/03/rascell-williams-man-char_n_343637.html

Meanwhile, the dirty lib might just win in NY-23. He’s hanging on to a four point lead at the moment.

@chicago bureau: With 64% in. It’s been pretty steady.

Oh, look — it’s Big Pussy!

Meanwhile: WCSH Portland weather guy talking about what happens usually with Maine weathah in Novembah.

DEVELOPING HARD: No on 1 Boiler Room, per OpenLeft, are throwing around the idea of a recount. It’s that close, it appears.

@chicago bureau: Yikes — bigots now leading by 4 points, with 60% in.

NEW NUMBERS — YES 52:48 NO with 59% in, per WCSH Portland. Not good. Not fucking good.

nojo: They gotta find 10,000 votes somewhere, and Portland is already in. Sad to say, but it might be time to stick a fork in No on 1 — they’re done.

Larry O’Donnell, who can’t pronounce Rachel’s name correctly, corrects her on Scozzafava.

Oh, shit — 11,000 absentee ballots in NY-23. There goes the fun.

And early votes in Washington on Referendum 71 aren’t looking so hot either. But the polls closed a half hour ago. So.

And it’s official — the 60% does in fact include Portland. Gay marriage in Maine is toast.

66% now, and YES is 14,000 votes in the clear. Call it.

And official confirmation from the OpenLeft Maine Bean Suppah Open Thread:

“The campaign is now directing staff to call town clerks to get final numbers in and look at our expected numbers there versus what they’re reporting. A lot of this leads up to a potential recount if the numbers are way off, but there are still a lot of numbers waiting to come in.”

Which is a short way of saying: “we got beat.”

@chicago bureau: Hold your horses. Still a slim lead.

Why are we voting on the civil rights of our fellow citizens?

Back to that awesome Times letter Benedick had, anyone know what it takes to emigrate to New Zealand or Spain? I’m sick of this shit.

@SanFranLefty: It’s a 4-point lead with 69% in, and the gap is increasing. Plus, as CB notes, all that’s left is the hinterland.

As to why we’re voting, Sully insists it’s better if you ask your neighbor for a bowl of gruel.

But Bill Owens is beating the knuckledragger in Upstate NY, right?

Sorry, but I can’t get up the enthusiasm 364 days later.

I just hope that the ballot initiatives to rename Candlestick Park for the highest bidder and to put Times Square fluorescent lights on Market Street between 5th and 12th Streets failed.

I was voter #59 at 6:58 pm PST at my precinct. That’s just sad.* I should have asked if Mayor and Mrs. McDreamy had voted already, since they live in my precinct now. Scary thing is Mr. SFL voted at 5:25 and he was voter #57.

* on the other hand, nobody can ever accuse me of being a Meg Whitman, given I drag my ass to the polling spot 2 minutes before it closes to vote on 5 local propositions and unopposed City Attorney and City Treasurer races. That’s how much of a Poli Sci nerd I am.

@SanFranLefty: Owens will go to bed with a good lead, but there are too many absentee ballots to call it.

SanFranLefty: NY-23 is down to absentees, really. From Fort Drum. They may have voted for Dede out of loyalty to the Republican before she threw in the towel. That could make things a bit safer for Owens, but there’s no call tonight, I reckon.

And, yes: voting on other people’s rights is fucking stupid.

@nojo: @chicago bureau: Okay, fuck it, I’m going to pour myself another drink and work on our Australia emigration papers. I’m beyond exhausted and sick of this shit. I’ll come back to the U.S. when the red state mouth breathers have seceded and we’ve stopped voting on the civil rights of others.

@nojo: I think those 11K votes are gonna have to be counted.

I’m so upset about No On 1 being anything other than a landslide for teh gheys.

I’m so IN LOVE with Owens hanging in there. LOVE.

Christie is such an asshole, but at least he was trying to look embarrassed when his crowd was about to lose it and forget they were on national TV.

The mayor of Pittsburgh is 29 years old? He’s so getting laid. All the time.

I’m really hating the very, very off political discourse on MSNBC.

@SanFranLefty: Honey, I am with you on the secession thing. I want it SO BAD. Just go away and let the sane people live in peace.

@SanFranLefty: Since we don’t get much choice in the matter, I’m gonna spin it this way: In an off-year election, gay rights still polls 48 percent in Maine. The bigots won the round, but the future is against them.

@RomeGirl:

The 6% (as of 12:08AM EST) of votes for Scozzafava are what kill me; clearly a protest vote. The funny thing is, it’s clear from the tally that the Rs would have kept the district if the teabaggers hadn’t dangled themselves into the district.

And 100% on the secession thing – maybe they can have Florida. Then, when the hurricane hits, we can stand at the border and tell them that giving them relief would be “socialism”, and we can’t have that, can we?

DEVELOPING HARD: HOFFMAN CONCEDES DEFEAT IN NY-23

So a little ray of hope from the North Country.

Meanwhile: Jesse Ventura goes off on Larry King, and on just the very thing that SFL has indicated will cause her to pack her bags. Says that if you left civil rights up to a vote, you’d still have slavery in some places, depending on the wording. There are things I don’t like about him, but there are things I love about that man.

Just got back from a deadly boring meeting on local transportation issues. Yawn. I’ll need to check up on this stuff in the AM.

@al2o3cr: Bwwahahhaah. Right. Oh, the fun we’d have throwing back their own platitudes in their faces. I wonder if the people I love who live in the South could register in Manhattan as political (or maybe even religious) refugees?

@chicago bureau: I KNOW DUDE. SO AWESOME.

Anyone know why Fucks News is replaying old footage? Did everyone turn into a pumpkin at midnight?

@chicago bureau: Please tell me he put Larry in a headlock. It’s the only thing that could cheer me up right now.
@SanFranLefty: @RomeGirl: I want them gone. GTFO, and let us have our gay marrying, universal healthcare-having socialist paradise. Oh, and don’t come whining to us when you have the infrastructure, medical care, and basic services of a 3rd world country. That’s just the free market at work.

@chicago bureau: Preach it Jesse with the bad mullet/NPR ponytail

Exactly. As I (believe it or not, soberly) hollered to fellow lefties after observing hours of Cal Sup Ct arguments today on the meaning of a variety of voter propositions, “What THE FUCK. Please, can we have a proposition on whether women are chattel in California because I bet that will pass with 51% of the knuckledraggers saying Yes Those Bitches are Our Dogs.”

And then I made a more intelligent analogy to how some cantons in Switzerland didn’t extend female suffrage until the mid-70s because it was up to the voting male citizens.

And then I headed home and ripped the head off of the dirty hippie outside the Castro Safeway collecting signatures for the “Yes on Prop. 4:20/Legalize It” ballot initiative about how direct democracy is evil.

@Mistress Cynica: That’s right. Line up at the nearest Greyhound station, get on the bus and just leave. Hey, you get the warmer weather! But we get to live longer and happier. So, you know, it’s a coin toss.

Also, I think all of Congress should have term limits. Imagine how much they could get done if they did not have to worry about attack ads.

I feel a new Bill of Rights coming on.

HOLD ON, FOLKS, LOOK LIKE WASHINGTON STATE DID GOOD.

@chicago bureau: If the RNC had its way the 1st and 14th Amendments would be repealed and hunting licenses issued for non-whites and Democrats.

Okay, here’s the official Washington R-71 tally.

Yes (the good guys) is leading by 3 points. It’s not called yet, and may not be until after 10:30 PT.

(Also of note: Washington turnout looks like double Maine’s in terms of raw numbers. So which vote is deemed significant on Wednesday?)

@chicago bureau: He needs to condemn the party of hate and blow his own brains out on TV.

I hope WA pulls it out for the good guys. I couldn’t watch or pay attention to any of it, because it was going to make me ill, particularly the concept that people were actually voting on the civil liberties of others again.

FINAL UPDATE: No on 1 needs 28,000 votes, with 13% of the precincts left. They’re talking recount, but it’s a 5.5% margin. Fuck all.

Good night here in Washington; progressive candidates & issues are winning on the city, county and state levels.

Referendum 71 is heading towards approval, which is great news, since we’ll still have our 100% poly-blend marriage equivalent. Check out this state map for perspective.

The western, green counties approve equality for hummuseckshals and the ocean of yellow are counties that reject the measure. Yipes!

Huge “Fuck You!” to the folks in Garfield County–which I’ve never heard of–who feel the need to reject my family rights 77% to 22%. Nuthing personal, but I hope ya’ll slowly freeze to death this winter. I’ve never been more glad that heavily populated, liberal Western WA vetoes Eastern WA at the ballot box.

@Original Andrew:
Garfield County is in the ass end of the Palouse country and is about as rural as you can get. The map is fascinating, but it helps to no that many of the counties that are voting against Ref 71 and for Tim Eyman’s latest attack on the tax system has 4 figure voter turnout (smaller than a Salish Sea suburb).

I can’t bear to watch/listen to this particular election, but reading this thread gives me all the news I need.

@SanFranLefty: I believe at this point a referendum on dogs’ rights vs. gheys’ rights, if put that way, would win. Not that there’s anything wrong with dogs’ rights.

Also, oy veh, those backwards Swiss.

While all this was going on I was eating dinner, rubbing doggy’s tummy and trying to watch, with an open mind, By the People, the HBO hagiography of our very own unicorn Barack Obama. Couldn’t get past the first 30 minutes or so; maybe I could have felt more uplifted and inspired, as the pandering documentary intended, if I had seen it mere weeks after the inauguration.

Sane people: Flee, flee!

@FlyingChainSaw: hunting licenses issued for non-whites and Democrats

And puppies. Don’t forget your Canine Americans.

@RomeGirl: Also, I think all of Congress should have term limits.

Not enough. Public financing for all political campaigns, no exceptions. Though I’m sure Goldman Sachs some special interests would still find a way.

Now, instead of wasting time and money ‘marching’ on DC when no one is there why don’t the rights groups use the same energy to put propositions on the books banning divorce?

Oh and we could enlist the help of the Catholic church and the space zombies from Utah.

And by the way, Forum. What a great score and what a great show. Not the stupid movie but the real thing. Comedy Tonight! indeed.

@Original Andrew: If that map doesn’t argue for an E/W split of Washington, I don’t know what does. It’d please everyone, especially the W half once the E half realized how utterly fucked they were.