Michael “What Up?” Steele, who famously described himself as a “cow on the tracks,” doesn’t understand why he gets all the attention:

I don’t see stories about the internal operations of the DNC that I see about this operation. Why? Is it because Michael Steele is the chairman, or is it because a black man is chairman?

Well, for starters, the DNC chair doesn’t have a tossed salad named after him.

Michael Steele Suggests Criticism Of His Tenure Motivated By Racism [Plum Line]

After Saying “I Don’t Play The Race Card,” Michael Steele Blames His Political Problems On Race [Media Matters]

The mystery billboard [Minnesota Public Radio]

So if we’ve got this straight — which we doubt, but there’s a closed-palm test coming up — Goldman Sachs invested in mortgage-backed securities, severely shorting them with AIG credit-default swaps, convinced other companies to load up on AIG swaps as well, waited for the market to swoon, stiffed AIG for an arbitrary value on their original investments, spread rumors that AIG couldn’t meet its obligations, which undermined AIG stock, forcing the Feds to bail out AIG and pay off Goldman for whatever Goldman said it was owed.

As opposed to, say, taking an actual risk and behaving accordingly. Moral hazard is for amateurs.

We hope you’ve got all that down, because Greece is about to go tits up, and its bonds are “insured” by… wait for it…

Credit-default swaps.

Somewhere there’s a lesson in all this. But the only one we can come up with is “Be so fucking rich, you don’t give a shit.”

How Goldman Bet Against Mortgages and Got Government to Foot the Bill [Our Lady of the Beaver/Washington Independent]

As U.S. stocks fall again, should Greek debts worry us? [McClatchy]

They’re growing up:

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We’re gonna have to pay royalties to the Daily News if we keep this up…

But hey, it’s one of those days. Michele Bachmann wants to kill off Social Security and Medicare. Everybody already in the system can rest assured that Republicans won’t lose their votes cut off their funding, but everybody else can just suck it:

Basically what we have to do is wean everybody else off. And wean everybody off because we have to take those unfunded net liabilities off our bank sheet, we can’t do it. So we just have to be straight with people. So basically, whoever our nominee is, is going to have to have a Glenn Beck chalkboard and explain to everybody this is the way it is.

Now that’s what we like to hear: Republicans straight-talking themselves into oblivion. And that’s why polls predicting the fall elections are meaningless, because folks, they’re just getting started. You won’t know crazy talk until at least late summer.

Bachmann’s Plan: To Deal With Debt, We Must ‘Wean Everybody’ Off Social Security, Medicare [ThinkProgress]

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Speaking to “Russia Today”, a state-owned channel, Orly Taitz explains why Barack Obama is unqualified to be President of the United States of Amer—

Hold on…

It appears the Stinque Control Room patched in the wrong feed. This is actually the Miss Russian Night pageant, “an event filled with exciting dancing, champagne, celebrities and sex,” featuring “the most erotic girl of 2009.” Stinque regrets the error.

Orly Taitz Brings Birtherism To Russian TV [TPM]

Fearful that their ex-half-governor is grabbing all the attention, Alaska’s Legislative Council steps in with a surefire means to share the limelight:

The Legislative Council has decided to push ahead with the state paying for a public relations effort to curb the Endangered Species Act and the listing of polar bears, despite lawmakers saying it could create a black eye for Alaska…

Senate Majority Leader Johnny Ellis said it could end up giving Alaska a black eye nationally.

“We should be very mindful there’s great potential for PR damage that could come from this if we let politicians do the science instead of scientists do the science,” the Anchorage Democrat said.

We might recommend they save the $1.5 million they’re planning to spend, because just mentioning it is getting all the publicity they could want.

Council OKs state campaign against polar bear protections [ADN, via TPM]