Michael Steele’s Race Card Trumped by Joker

its come to this.

it took a little longer than I thought it would.

@Capt Howdy:

Are you kidding me? This guy has his office phone and address printed on the race card he plays it so often.

I clearly do not pay enough attention to this stuff. I never saw the “cow on the tracks” quote.
it is priceless. but I guess with him the priceless list is so long it becomes worthless and pointless.

it is absolutely epically stupid.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: He plays it so often it’s called the Michael Steele.

When the GOP gives out swag, it replaces all the jokers, the face cards, and the aces in the deck.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ:

He plays it so often they’ve started calling it the race stub.

Riiiiiight, the mainstream media is so racist and retarded stupid that they spend their days attempting to destroy the GOP for having the audacity to install a black chairman while all the time forgetting that the Democratic Party just elected a *gasp* black president!!!

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: @Serolf Divad: I wonder if he and his friends ever play Asshole.

@Serolf Divad: Actually, I only voted for him in the primary and general elections because I misread the name as “Barry Oberstein”.

I love Michael Steele. I love everything about him. How could you not love him? He’s so lovable. Every time I see him I want to hug him and feed him Twinkies.

Onto more important topics the question is: this spring do I plant 60 of one kind of daylily, the beauteous Hyperion, a classic, lemon yellow, tall, fragrant? Or do I go with the mixed-bag from White Flower Farm as I did last year? The mixed-bag is cheaper but I pine for the look of the septic tank leach field mound blooming in a mass of yellow. And are 60 plants really enough? I’m thinking of planting a contrasting patch of Ligularia “The Rocket” which will grow to 5ft in a harmonious yellow but contrasting shape. Am I on to something or do I need to get some red in there? The Ligularia will frame a contorted red-twig willow which promises to be a stunner. It stands in contrast to the weeping golden willow close by my study which is already, after 2 years, forming a haze of slender golden wands that catch the light, forming a haze against the darker wilding evergreens and dead ash trees behind.

Bulbs are beginning to show and the fruit trees are all showing hard-ons, swelling nubs that promise blossom. If global warming means earlier springs I can cope. The grandkids will just have to suck it.

@Benedick: 60 is not enough, and I’d go mixed.

@Benedick: Maybe all yellow and an edging of red tulips or purple irises? Sixty doesn’t sound like enough – that’s how many I used to plant in a 2′ by 10′ plot in my front yard.

@Dodgerblue: You’re right about the amount. I should double it. This is why God made credit cards. Not sure about the color. Hyperion is a very beautiful pale yellow, an old variety with narrow petals and grassy foliage. Planted as a drift it might only bloom 2 weeks of the year but what weeks they’d be. They can be Stinque weeks and you’ll all come and see.

@Benedick: Sounds wonderful. I like a wash of colors, perhaps because I’m nearsighted and when I take my glasses off, the world looks like a late Monet.

@SanFranLefty: They get to be big plants. After a couple of years they’ll be 4 ft across. But see note above. I think it’s not enough.

Tulips don’t bloom at the same time plus the deer and the FUCKING BUNNIES eat them. I planted a lot last fall but they’re near the house so the dogs deter BUNNIES. I love irises, particularly the species varieties, pale mauve, tender yellow. There were a lot here growing wild when we bought the house and I’ve spread those and planted more, including a lot around the pool of frog death new pond.

The great thing about spring chez nous is that, by the time it rolls around I’ve forgotten what I put in last fall. So it comes as a complete surprise. I know I planted tulip Queen of the Night (almost black) and Angelique (like apple blossom gone mad) but what else will appear is anyone’s guess.

I plant a lot of irises and rinuncs, and we have some daffodils that have sort of taken over under the fig tree. Tulips don’t do well in Santa Monica because it doesn’t freeze — the “put them in the fridge” method has never worked very well. I’ll have a bunch of California poppies coming up in the Spring — they are very efficient at re-seeding themselves, sometimes twice in the same season. And let us not speak of the volunteer tomato plant that won’t die, growing happily near the clean-out for our sewer line.

Is having lengthy discussions about gardening what I have to look forward to, when I become a bona fide (not just “legal”) adult? I hate learning life lessons.

@JNOVjr: Gardening and mixed drinks are what being a grownup is all about.

@Dodgerblue: … under the fig tree… you bitch. Santa Monica. Who needs tulips? And let us not speak of the volunteer tomato plant that won’t die, growing happily near the clean-out for our sewer line. Yes, let’s talk about it when we here in God’s country scramble to harvest our crop before the frost annihilates it.

A hundred years ago a major industry here was ice. It was exported around the world. You know where this is going?

We have classic poppies that explode at the end of May. I will post pics if noje ever allows us to do another jam. You know how he gets about ‘control’ issues. Bless him but I Don’t Know How to Love Him? Well, we all come out in our own time. I’m trying to coax Iceland poppies to take charge but no luck so far.

@Benedick: You know how he gets about ‘control’ issues.

Just practicing to be the visionary leader of a multibillion-dollar computing company that knows what’s best for you.

Oh, and I prefer Trial Before Pilate.

@Benedick: Under the vine and fig tree, swords into plowshares, study war no more. That kind of thing. I have some Iceland poppy pics I’ll post at our next photo jam.

@nojo: Don’t forget about planned obsolescence and cutting off customer support for older versions. Y’know, I thought Word Perfect for DOS 5.1 was pretty damned good.

@JNOVjr: It’s about time. At your age a year seems long. As you get older a year gets shorter because its a smaller chunk of your life.

There is a thrill when you plant a tree – river birch, willows, apples, plum, peaches, weeping cherries, all trees I’ve planted, etc – knowing you won’t live to see them at their maturity. As I look at the Norway Spruce that line our drive I feel a connection with the people who lived in our house before us and thought to plant those trees that are in their maturity now.

@Dodgerblue: Word 5.1 for Mac was the last word processor worth the trouble.

@nojo: My feeling about the DOS version. Had everything a person needs and nothing that they do not. Unlike the incredibly bloated Word 2007 that our IT Dept has forced upon us poor schmucks.

@Dodgerblue: I thought Word Perfect for DOS 5.1 was pretty damned good Me too!!!!! Till I found Pages. Steve J really does know what is good for us. Could he be our dictator? I could so totally get behind an Apple takeover. Plus he is totally rockin’ the hot Jew nerd look. I could so download on his ass.

@Benedick: Would you like me to send you some California poppy seeds? They grow wild in our yard but we’ve been harvesting the seeds and planting more purposefully.

@Dodgerblue: We have the often-neglected random tomatillo plant that grows like an orphan, away from the rest of the garden, and happily cranking out those green orbs for my salsa verde.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, tomatillos and hot peppers are tough customers.

@Dodgerblue: @Benedick: The nice thing about Pages is that it’ll open those gawdawful Word 2007 files my clients send.

@Dodgerblue: Our jalapeños seem completely unaffected by the Great Deluge of ’10.

@Benedick:
@nojo:

Pages is pretty good, but I’m a 10th level excel nerd and I hate the braindamaged iWorks spreadsheet.

The “free” Open Office spreadsheet from Sun is pretty good.

@ManchuCandidate:

Ooh, we must have a geek off. Excel is my forte.

@nojo:

And sex, for that brief hiccup of time between 18 and 40.

@JNOVjr: We’re just glad we lived long enough to enjoy our fucking gardens and back yards instead of dying in a car crash, in a fight, freezing to death in the mountains, or looking out of a prison window in Texas. Adversity, adventure, pain, love and joy are what inform our love of our spaces. When people look at their flower beds and back yards, they do so with a lot of life in the back of their minds. Gardens are like the sheltering sky that keep real life at bay.

I hope you get to be an old cat one day with the best damn roses on the block.

@redmanlaw:

You smart fella.

You might get poppy seeds at your local hardware store. If not then you might try here

@JNOVjr: Oh, man.

SAT results in 1.25 days! Heh.

@Benedick: I cast my vote for a huge drift of Hyperion. The drama of a single color can’t be beat. I think of the swaths of daffodils in Green Park in spring. Unbelievable.
I have bought some seeds for double “peony style” poppies, but what I really want to find are the pale pink, old fashioned opium poppies with the lavender centers, like my grandmother had. No one seems to have those, for some reason.

@Mistress Cynica: I think you’re right. This bed would be looked at from some distance. But I think I’ll go bigger planting. Hyperion is a beautiful heritage flower and it would be an honor to have it here.

As far as peony-style poppies go is this what you mean?

@nojo: I have to drink, too? Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you people? Next, you’re going to tell me I’ll have to smoke and get a “real job.”

@Benedick: Hm, I never really thought about it like that. You’re wrong about one thing, though. Over the past 4 years, I haven’t really been doing much but sleeping. The time flew by so fast that I still feel like I’m 16. And if that’s not bad enough, the people who were freshmen in high school when I was a senior are now seniors. I thought I was supposed to be out, having the best time of my life right now, not feeling like a geezer just as I’ve barely broken into my third decade of life. A 16-year-old geezer who’s really 20… I don’t know, it made more sense in my head. I need sleep.

@redmanlaw: Again, I never really thought about it that way. Now I’m not quite sure whether I should be looking forward to the gardening or not… Maybe I could buy a chia pet and see how I like it.

@JNOV: The what in when? Why has no one told me about this? Man, I sure wish I had someone sitting 3 feet away from me who could remind me in person almost every day.

@Benedick: Comme ça.

@JNOVjr: No need to tie yourself down now. When I got serious about things, I started with a duffle bag of clothes, a set of drums and a laundry basket with some books. High speed, low drag as they say.

@JNOVjr: Can’t help you there. I haven’t had a “real job” in fifteen years.

Actually, I take that back. It didn’t count. I haven’t had a real job since 1983.

@JNOVjr, nojo: I was going to recommend career counseling from nojo.

@redmanlaw: High speed, low drag as they say.

Freedom is Low Overhead.

@redmanlaw:

1. Learn a trade.

2. Go with yer gut.

3. Be very, very lucky.

@Mistress Cynica: Kind of fancery-dancery. Here we like the old style Episcopalian vegetation.

@JNOVjr: You won’t understand till you’re older. I didn’t get it till I started doing it.

@JNOVjr: BTW, you are an adult: You can vote; child support is no more; you can die in some dumbass war. You’re just not old enough to drink. And, technically, you’re still an adolescent. Your brain won’t be fully formed for another 3-5 years, and the growth plates on your bones haven’t fully fused yet. You’re an adult but not quite. But you’re close, and I’m very proud of you.

Eventually, the only things that will grow will be your hair (if you have any), your ears, your nose, your fingernails, and I’m pretty sure, your mind.

I love you.

@redmanlaw: @nojo:
Fire in my veins
Faster as I go
I forgot my name
I’m a dirt torpedo

@Benedick: I find that most of the good things in life are hard to appreciate without actually trying them. Have you ever sat down with your friends and watched Neon Genesis Evangelion in one sitting? No? Then you have not lived, my friend. You have not lived.

@JNOV: BTW, you are an adult: You can vote; child support is no more; you can die in some dumbass war. You’re just not old enough to drink. And, technically, you’re still an adolescent.

Heh, that was actually kind of what I was getting at, but I guess I worded it strangely. Oh and I’ve got a contingency plan for if I ever lose my hair: when I finally get tired of my dreadlocks, I’m going to save them and have you knit them together at the base to make a wig out of the whole mess.

@JNOV: Bravo! Every son should be lucky enough to receive such a message from his mother.

@Benedick: I vote for many, many Hyperions. It’s a beautiful plant, and it doesn’t go on and on blooming and blooming until you begin to wonder if it’s truly a flower and not a plastic simulacrum.

@lynnlightfoot: Hyperion it is. You’re absolutely right about the bloom time. Couldn’t agree more. Big snow going on right now but I’ll go and do some measuring when it eases off to see how many I’ll need. A lot, I should think.

@JNOVjr: Not really my thing.