We’ve long suspected that Sarah Palin doesn’t write her Facebook posts, since they have little relationship to how she talks or tweets. (Footnotes? Really?) Soon our suspicion will be put to the test, when her chief spokesbot makes a positive difference and fights for all our children’s future from outside the governor’s office quits at the end of the month:

“While I had hoped to work together on so many more projects, time with my precious 2-year-old has been further minimized with the whirlwind commitments of all things Palin,” [Meghan Stapleton] told the SarahPAC staff. “I have done my best to scale back, but Isabella is now resorting to hiding my BlackBerry, and she shouldn’t grow up begging for a mother to start acting like a mother.”

Clearly Meghan needs the time off, because like she says, a whirlwind political life is not in the best interests of a young child. Wait, what?

Top aide to Sarah Palin resigns [Politico]

Dude would be smart to keep his head down, but noooooo…

Barack Obama may not realize it, but I may have just helped save his presidency. How? By winning a drawn-out fight to protect his powers as commander in chief to wage war and keep Americans safe.

No, wait — John Yoo’s cri de merde gets better:

Part of Mr. Obama’s plan included hounding those who developed, approved or carried out Bush policies, despite the enormous pressures of time and circumstance in the months immediately after the September 11 attacks.

We could only hope. But last we checked, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld still walk the earth.

My Gift to the Obama Presidency [John Yoo/WSJ]

Image: indepublica

God, do we get horny when beauty-pageant bimbos go Old Testament on us:

“The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white,” Ashley told Pop Tarts.

“I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

That would be Lauren Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills, who must attend one of the most bloody churches in town.

Miss Beverly Hills Lauren Ashley Opposes Same Sex Marriage [Fox]

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	Think how many more jobs we would have created if we hadn’t blown off $282 billion in tax cuts!
	Medicare for All! Public Option! National Exchange! Whatever!
	Deliver toothless stern warnings to Wall Street!

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Jesus Christ, woman, if you want to keep your kids out of the public eye, keep them out of the public eye:

Bristol Palin, arguably the most famous teen mother in America, will make her acting debut playing herself on ABC Family’s “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” the network announced today.

“I am thrilled to be on this show and to be part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the consequences of teen pregnancy,” Palin said in a statement.

Oh, we bet she’s thrilled. Just like any 19-year-old would be, whose mother keeps subjecting her to national ridicule.

Bristol Palin Makes Acting Debut as Teen Mom [ABC, via Raw Story]

Fuck. There goes that punchline.

Navy to Lift Ban on Women Serving Aboard Submarines [ABC]

The actress who played Ellen in the Family Guy episode that Sarah Palin has cynically criticized for personal gain not only talked to the New York Times last week — she also spoke on camera for “The Insider”.

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