You’re forgiven if you haven’t been following The Great Flash War, which pits Apple’s iGadgets against Adobe’s porn-enabling browser software. Flash, which brings you most of the intrusive advertising you’ve come to love about the Internet, has been missing from the iPhone and its progeny from the start.

Actually, it’s been missing from every other phone as well. But that’s another story.

The deal here is that Apple doesn’t want Flash getting between your fingers and its lovable smudgable glass screens. Android has invited Flash to its party, but Adobe’s showing up fashionably late to that one.

It’s all been very entertaining, if you’re the type who’s entertained by such things. And like all good Geek Religious Wars, it’s been entirely pointless: Folks will vote with their wallets. End of story.

Or so we thought.

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The good news is that the past involvement of Robert Byrd in the Ku Klux Klan was not papered over in most of the obits we saw today.  People stumble over themselves to not tell the bad with the good at times like these — it’s refreshing to see that shelved here, for it does tell part of the story that’s worth hearing. 

The bad news is that there wasn’t a loop of Byrd’s speeches from the October 2002 debate on the Iraq War resolution.  Not snippets here and there, but long-form, unedited.  Of course, he totally nailed it — and if there is a God, He’d whisper Byrd’s speeches in Cheney’s ear when he is breathing his last.

The worst news?  There wasn’t enough of this — which, to be truthful, is chock full o’AWESOME.

Safe travels, Senator.

Today in World Cup Hottie and soccer game action, Brazil stomped on Chile, winning by 3-0, and advanced to play Holland, which earlier in the day defeated Slovakia by a score of 2-1.

Brazil and the Netherlands will now face each other in the quarterfinals on July 2. The two national teams play very different styles of soccer, each reflecting their country’s stereotypical character.  The Dutch are methodical, masters of incredible technical skills, and work together as a solid team. The Brazilians are beautiful to watch, but are a collection of individual personalities and egos, and when they choose to do so their games can be a transcendent ballet of athletic skill and grace.

It will be a game worth watching, as will be tomorrow’s Iberian Peninsula grudge match of Spain v. Portugal, featuring the hottie match up of nekkid Spaniard Sergio Ramos and hot goalie Iker Casillas v. Cristiano Ronaldo. If Spain loses, that means no more Spanish reporter Sara Pastasauce for the str8 boys.

But on to Hotties. So meet the Brazilians. And like all good Brazilian players, almost all of them go by just one name.

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Rand Paul showed up at the Christian Homeschool Educators of Kentucky conference on Friday. If you have better things to do than sit through a nine-minute clip — and who doesn’t? — the fun begins right at the start:

Question: “How old is the world?”

Answer: “I’m going to pass on the age of the Earth.”

Thank you, Dr. Science.

Remember: He’s not a real opthamologist!

Rand Paul refuses to say how old the earth is [Barefoot and Progressive]

“Rod Blagojevich seriously considered asking Chicago heavyweight Oprah Winfrey to take over the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama. ‘Nobody would assail this pick,’ he says in tapes recorded on Nov. 21, 2008. ‘It’s huge!’” [NBC Chicago]

In his latest installment of Mystery Presidents Theater 3000, Alabama teabagger Rick Barber raises Lincoln from the dead to call income taxes “slavery”. According to published reports, Alabama teabagger Rick Barber is from Alabama.

[via TPM]

No Town Car or Crown Vic? N.Y. Streets Won’t Be the Same [NYT]