DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see that headline? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! they hate me, DUCKY! THEY HATE ME! How can that be? Booohooobooooohoooo!

Insane Kremlin chew toy Queen FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! is overwhelmed with depression by the fact that everyone in the universe understands what a twisted treasonous, pathetic piece of owned shit he is and righteously wants him to just go and fucking throw himself off of the 14th Street bridge.

The Washington Post reported this week,  “The media clearly matters to Trump, however. And Trump’s penchant for holding grudges seems to be sucking whatever joy should come with winning the ultimate prize.”

HA!

HA! HA!

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

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Dear Penthouse,

I never thought I’d be writing you, but the other night I had dinner with a woman who is not my wife. After praising our Lord for His bounty, I asked her to please pass the salt. Our fingers accidentally touched, and the next thing I know she’s shoving the table clean with one sweep of her arm and throwing me down on it, taking my throbbing member into her mouth, and finishing me off like a ladle of gravy. I seek pence for my sins. Er, penance.

Race Bannon

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Insane president from outer space FUCKFACE! von KLOWNSTICK will end his days chained to a pipe in the shower in Allenwood and AMERICA! counts the days until then.

After enduring nearly two hellacious embarrassing months in office during which not one cat in AMERICA! was able to keeps its dinner down, Precedent FUCKFACE! von KLOWNSTICK!, got a grade of F from 1 in 3 voters, according to a new McClatchy-Marist Poll.

By contrast, the same number graded predecessor Democrat Barack Obama’s performance a B as he approached his 100th day in office, McClatchy reported this week.

“Every time he speaks . . . my cat power chucks across the yard. It’s phenomenal, the explosive emetogenic response be provokes,” said a witness to western civilization’s last days from Auburn, WA. “I have never seen this kind of stuff fly out of any animal.”

Read more here.

The Wall Street Journal reports today that Kremlin-Turk triple agent and traitor-for-hire Mike Flynn, President Donald Trump’s former national security adviser, “has told the Federal Bureau of Investigation and congressional officials investigating the Trump campaign’s potential ties to Russia that he is willing to be interviewed in exchange for a grant of immunity from prosecution, according to officials with knowledge of the matter.”

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File Photo of Inmate Donald Trump arriving at Allenwood Penitentiary to Serve a 153,033 Year Sentence for Treason.

Sure, sports fans we can laugh at the demented buffoon but this piece of shit is going down hard for treason, dozens of charges of engrossment by a public servant, structuring, bribery and obstruction of justice.

I’d give odds, but this isn’t even a bet.

I’ll buy everyone a coke when the report comes in after he is found dead, chained to a pipe in the shower at Allenwood.

Because that is how TRUMPLIGULA! is going to go down.

Unless you’ve got a more wonderful vision of how fuckface will meet his end.

DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see my Pooteecakes? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! get him on the phone for me, pretty please!

Strange, Orange and Bloated, FUCKFACE von CLOWNSTICK wanders the halls of the White House alone babbling nonsensically about the forces of evil arrayed against him, comforted only by staffers who jump out of potted plants in the hallways wearing Vladimir Putin masks and offering to sodomize him, according to Politico.com

The insane trust-fund twit is apparently upset that AMERICA! refused to shoot itself in the face because he, THE! PLENIPOTENTIARY! would find that amusing and would fund important new sources of revenue for people he wants to impress who likely regard him as less valuable as a Hershey squirt stain on a pair of St Vincent de Paul thrift shop boxer shorts.

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God bless the Freedom Caucus.

No, really.

Well, okay, sorta. Thanks to the House Deplorables, who resisted Ryancare because it didn’t drown enough puppies, the whole bill came crashing down, and we’re enjoying a bout of tantric schadenfreude that even Sting would envy.

Heck, we may yet escape this Administration alive.

We’ve seen from the start that Donald Trump sucks at running the government. We didn’t see until this week that Paul Ryan sucks at running the House. All those fire-breathers, free at last to turn These United States into scorched earth, and all they can do is immolate themselves, bless their shriveled hearts.

Which leads us to wonder whether this was ironically inevitable: Is extreme gerrymandering, the source of Republican power in the House, also the source of its weakness?

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