Part the First:

Arizona’s Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told WND he has assigned a five-member “Cold Case Posse” to investigate the authenticity of Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

The decision, he says, is simply a matter of doing his duty.

“This investigation does not involve politics,” Arpaio told WND. “I listen to all the residents of Maricopa County who come to my office with complaints, regardless what their politics are.”

Read more »

Bill O’Reilly: “I have more power than anybody other than the president, in the sense that I can get things changed, quickly. I don’t have to go through the legislative process; I don’t have to do any of that. I can just bring it to the people, and say, look, this has gotta be dealt with.” [Daily Beast]

“By the time I feed my family, I have maybe $400,000 left over.” –Louisiana GOP Congresscritter John Fleming, adding that “class warfare has never created a job”. [ThinkProgress]

Chicago Tribune columnist Steve Chapman is worried about The Preznit’s prospects next year:

But there is good news for the president. I checked the Constitution, and he is under no compulsion to run for re-election. He can scrap the campaign, bag the fundraising calls and never watch another Republican debate as long as he’s willing to vacate the premises by Jan. 20, 2013.

Goodness! If such a staunch Obama partisan as Chicago Tribune columnist Steve Chapman is recommending quitting—

Hold on, the Producer is screaming in our earwig. Chicago Tribune columnist Steve Chapman is a conservative? Then why would Chicago Tribune columnist Steve Chapman want Obama not to—

Ohhhhhhhhh.

Read more »

Three feet across, they’re stripping the ocean floor of other forms of life. You’re going to need a bigger pot …

[ Flash video not available. ]

Title: “That Used to Be Us: How America Fell Behind in the World It Invented and How We Can Come Back”

Authors: Thomas L. Friedman and Michael Mandelbaum

Rank: 13

Blurb: “They offer a way out of the trap into which the country has fallen, which includes the rediscovery of some of our most valuable traditions and the creation of a new, third-party movement.”

Review: “One particularly good example for why a different way of thinking and approaching problems is needed comes from Friedman’s discussions with Byron Auguste, a managing director with McKinsey & Company.”

Customers Also Bought: “On China”, by Henry Kissinger

Footnote: There’s nothing wrong with our parties that a different population wouldn’t fix.

That Used to Be Us [Fuck Amazon]

In case you missed the latest asshat hatred action to come out of Virginia, heeeeeeeere’s Pat!

A caller to Pat Robertson’s “700 Club” Ponzi scheme television show called to ask the Good Reverend for his thoughts about a “friend” of his:

[The caller] said that a friend had begun dating other women while his wife lies seriously ill with Alzheimer’s, and justifies it by saying that “his wife, as he knows her, is gone.”

Robertson said he agrees with the man: “What he says basically is correct. I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her.”

His co-host pressed Robertson about whether that violates the marriage vows. Robertson responded that Alzheimer’s “is a kind of death” and added, “I certainly wouldn’t put a guilt trip on you” for choosing divorce in such a scenario.

I’m sure this threat to the sanctity of marriage is somehow the fault of the gheyz, Messicans, abortionists, and feminazis.

[LAT, h/t Mistress Cynica]