Schlong-Crazed Gay Bathroom Sex Buccaneer Larry Craig Gives Up Trying to Prove He Doesn't Gobble Schlong Anonymously in Bathrooms

The legendary Republican gay bathroom sex buccaneer, former Idaho Senator Larry Craig, has given up his legal attempts to prove he is not a schlong-gobbling gay bathroom sex buccaneer, much to the disappointment of those enemies of hypocrisy who enjoyed seeing this avowed opponent of legalized same-sex marriage denying over and over again in court that he does not wander around airport men’s rooms begging men to stuff their schlongs into his gaping, eager maw.

The Associated Press reported Thursday that the bathroom sex buccaneer from Idaho had “decided to abandon his effort to overturn his 2007 guilty plea to charges connected with a sex sting in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.” Read more »

To a Contemporary Bunkshooter

You come along squirting words at us, shaking your fist
and calling us all damn fools so fierce the froth slobbers
over your lips… always blabbing we’re all
going to hell straight off and you know all about it.

Ready to Kill

Ten minutes now I have been looking at this.
I have gone by here before and wondered about it.

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Jack Ryan led a colorful life. No, not Tom Clancy’s hero. And not 7 of 9’s ex, although he was 6 of 9 for Zsa Zsa Gabor.

It’s in that role — this was the 1970s — that he was said to take apart her Rolls and refuse to put it together again. And he probably could have if he wanted to, given that early in his career he was a Raytheon engineer on the Sparrow and Hawk missile projects

Jack tallied five wives himself, although we don’t where Zsa Zsa stands in the line-up. Between wives — we’ll be nice and presume as much — he was “a full-blown Seventies-style swinger” with “a manic need for sexual gratification,” according to a researcher. Recalls one woman he worked with, “Jack once said he loved me being so tall so he could stick his nose in my boobs when he hugged me.”

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Deer in the headlights edition:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eez1LVPQrbA

Bonus PUMA (check out the helmet hair):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sG1uy_efHzU

I bitched about outsourcing shit to India here and here, so today it’s China’s turn:

Gary Leong knew things weren’t right during a recent tour of a Chinese plant when he witnessed workers manufacturing glucosamine sulfate to relieve joint discomfort in the morning and fertilizer to help plants grow in the afternoon – using the same equipment.

Not only do my joints feel great, I’ve grown 2 inches!

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Room		Ghost
	Lee Dining Room	The Souls of Lost Pretzels
	Jackson Place Sitting Room	Barney’s victims
	Rear Drawing Room	Jenna’s maidenhood

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And one of them has a report: