1. Has anybody seen Bobby Jindal’s birth certificate? WHAT IS HE HIDING FROM US?

2. Interesting that I haven’t seen Sen. Richard Shelby come out and DEMAND proof of Jindal’s citizenship. CONSPIRACY!

News that three-quarters of Loyal Bushies remain unemployed has given libtards everywhere a healthy and enjoyable dose of schadenfreude.  Paul Krugman thinks this might be a sign that the days of wingnut welfare are over:

As an economist, I’m supposed to believe in incentives; and the remarkable cohesiveness of conservatives has a lot to do with incentives.

Show some independence, and you’ll face a lavishly financed primary challenge from the Club for Growth. Be a loyal soldier, and you will be taken care of — through what’s commonly referred to as “wingnut welfare.”

Remember when Scooter went to The Hudson Institute to be a “scholar”? – well, he was until he was convicted of multiple felonies and they disappeared him.

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Five beers into the Oscars — the opening dance number had that effect on us — we realized we hadn’t thought about the Monday morning post, and we couldn’t concentrate enough to study RML’s tip about the Canadian terrorist threat.

Not when we were additionally addled to see George Bush still in the news. No, not the George Bush who’s applying as a greeter at Elliott’s Hardware in Houston. And not Poppy, either, who tried retail work but was thwarted by the scanners.

Please, sit down. Clear your desk of sharp objects. Because there’s a third George Bush. And he’s gonna be around a long time.

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Speaking of naked hairy guys, we were watching the night of the Oscar Streaker, and we remember David Niven’s zinger: “Isn’t it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings!” Later we heard the whole thing was staged, but we refuse to believe it. This is Hollywood! Why would they sully their integrity?

We doubt tonight will offer such excitement, but we’re revving up our Open Thread/Party Tent anyway. The new producers and host Wolverine promise a streamlined show, but we offer this bit of friendly advice: Don’t fuck with the Death Montage.

What we know about fashion you could stuff in that beak, but Dodgerblue’s wife would kill us if we didn’t set up a Red Carpet Open Thread, so here it is, to be quickly forgotten at 8:15 p.m. when our real Oscar coverage starts.

If you have cable or satellite, we think E!!!!!!!!!!!!! (damn shift key) is running the preshow, while ABC has a recap at 8 p.m. Someone holler if PETA stormtroopers show up as zany Nazis and threaten to blitzkrieg the Kodak Theatre.

He’s looking for a job:

Title: The Day of the Locust

Author: Nathanael West

Rank: 805,708

Blurb: “Tod Hackett is a brilliant young artist — and a man in danger of losing his heart. Brought to an LA studio as a set-designer, he is soon caught up in a fantasy world where the cult of celebrity rules. But when he becomes besotted by the beautiful Faye, an aspiring actress and occasional call-girl, his dream rapidly becomes a nightmare. For, with little in the way of looks and no money to buy her time, Tod’s desperate passion can only lead to frustration, disillusionment and rage.”

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