Last time we paid attention, John Madden was still a coach, and the home game consisted of a vibrating metal sheet with plastic players that scattered all over the place. Oh, and our local Disney-licensed college team was such a frequent denizen of the Bottom Ten — the classic Steve Harvey version, not the cable upstart — the local newspaper dropped the column.

So you’ll forgive our cluelessness. But we do know from drinking, so today inaugurates our weekend Stinque Tailgates. Since you’re going to talk trash anyway, we figured we’d provide a dumpster.

Today’s tip from Blogenfreude: “Jets in Houston — new QB, new season, so far a forty-year journey to nowhere. I feel like a Cubs fan.”

Our Oz correspondent recommends the following two stories, with the proviso that you don’t confuse them.

In the first story, Australian jockeys are upset over new rules that limit the amount of pain and suffering encouragement they can provide their dogmeat noble steeds down the stretch. Jockey union spokesmidget Paul Innes explains:

“To burden them now with counting how many times they have used their whip, have they got another whip, have they used their whip, is unsafe and [there are] dangers to flow from that,” he said.

Even worse is the introduction of a padded whip, which isn’t nearly as fun.

Read more »

I have said that, had the Redskins been a better team in the late 70s and early 80s, my father would have lived for a couple more years.  And now I have another reason to hate them.

It would be hard to find a more loyal fan of the Washington Redskins than real estate agent Pat Hill. She’s had season tickets since the early 1960s, when her daughter danced in the halftime shows at the old D.C. Stadium, before it was renamed in memory of Robert F. Kennedy.

Read more »

Lord, give me strength —

Add another name to the growing list of pols and would-be pols eyeing a run for Edward M. Kennedy’s Senate seat: former Red Sox ace Curt Schilling.  That’s right, Mr. Bloody Sock himself [said] that he has been “contacted” about a possible Senate run and has not ruled it out.

“I’m not going to divulge the discussions, but I’ve been contacted by people whose opinion I give credence to and listen to, and I listened,” Schilling said.  Asked whether he would run, Schilling said, “As of today, probably not. […] That’s a pretty big deal, from a commitment standpoint, not just for me but for my family.”

…Schilling added to his comments with a statement he posted on his blog.  “I do have some interest in the possibility… That being said to get to there, from where I am today, many many things would have to align themselves for that to truly happen. I am not going to comment further on the matter since at this point it would be speculation on top of speculation….

“I don’t have a really good filter…. Actually my first press conference could probably be my last as someone on the political scene, which probably wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

Immunizing himself from a public image meltdown, a la Sarah Plain and Dumb, or (it must be said) Caroline Kennedy.  I see what he did there.

I know, I know – it’s not David Vitter, Chuck Grassley, or Chuck Grassley, but I had to post this.  If that had been, say, Tony Romo, he’d have been suspended for a game or two.  But not the great BRETT FAVRE (traitor).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQCSYvHuoRE

DEVELOPING HARD: Mark Buehrle, of the Chicago White Sox, throws a perfect game this afternoon.  Twenty-seven up, twenty-seven down. It’s happened 17 times (including today) in the past 110 years.

In response, the following comment appears on the Chicago Sun-Times website:

nobama08 wrote:
Now that the Sox have one, Obama can tax perfect games, too.

I fucking give up.

As mentioned in a thread earlier today: Richard M. Daley, Mayor — whilst promoting the Chicago 2016 Olympic bid — kited a check.  A really big one.

Faced with losing the 2016 Summer Games to competing cities offering full government guarantees, Mayor Richard Daley made an about-face Wednesday and said the City of Chicago would sign a contract agreeing to take full financial responsibility for the Games.  In a worst-case situation, such as severe cost-overruns or a catastrophic event, the agreement could leave taxpayers on the hook for hundreds of millions of dollars or even more, a scenario Chicago’s bid team acknowledges but insists is far-fetched.

Far-fetched my ass.  This is Chicago.  There will be “cost-overruns.”  (These are referred to, in other parts of the world, as “kickbacks.”)  Everybody knows this.  And so the City Council — recently burned on a parking meter privatization deal that Rich pushed through and has since gone horribly, horribly wrong — wants another look. 

Now: the reigning World Champion of Hope is going to Denmark in October when the final vote is taken.  If Chicago wins, it shows Barry’s power and influence.  If the bid fails, then it will be taken as a sign of the bloom coming off his rose.  And, in fact, the outcome could have nothing to do with Barry, and everything to do with purely local politics — pressure on the City to use money for other things (like, oh, I don’t know, schools), anger over sudden increases in taxes and fees at precisely the wrong moment, corruption and graft and patronage and on and on. 

The intricacies of all of this could fill a book.  As could the bullshit.  This is going to be fun.