Sports Douchebag of the Day

Whaddaya expect from some douche who can’t even pronounce his name correctly? Dumbfuck.

And may I add that I don’t know who this person is, or why he’s famous, but he could be Douchebag of the Decade.

For all the Pats haters: I don’t really follow pro sports, but DCist linked to this no doubt schadenfreude-eliciting clip of the Skins’ 350-lb. defensive tackle taking down Brady hard on Saturday.

@blogenfreude: Star has it right, pegging him as “fame-loving.” Not actually famous, just wishes that he and his no-talent wife were.

@blogenfreude: Wow. His picture should be in the dictionary when you look up “douchebag.”

@Dodgerblue: I had to see which DB you were referring to. The eyeliner and hair gel seal the deal for this Pratt character. Favre has been a douche pretty much forever.

@mellbell: Brady has always been a reasonably tough pretty boy, but I think now he spends these moments on the turf thinking “I could be home with Giselle instead of this shit”. The Stillers are going to wrap up the Pats’ glory years this season, if he can even make it through the season healthy enough to meet them in the playoffs.

@blogenfreude: I know he and his wife are on some reality TV show. That’s the extent of my knowledge, and I’m already wishing the two of them would die in a fire.

As for Brittfarr, he’s just havin’ fun out there! (Fucktard.)

@Signal to Noise: I think it might be “help, get me out of here, I am an asshole almost-celebrity.” They call them Speidy, I think, like “Spidey.” I know nothing more, thats the first time I have ever seen them, and the last time I will do so on purpose, unless its to view their corpses, which would give me pleasure.

@Prommie: Speidi. Like Brangelina or Bennifer, only low-rent.

@mellbell: I floated “Flambisco” awhile back, but Ma Nabisco wouldn’t go for it.

@Prommie: It hurts my soul that I even know of their existence, like Kenny G, or Jordan.

@blogenfreude: The country?

Did someone say fame whore?

@Mistress Cynica: “Sarah Palin ruined my life and all I got was this lousy centerfold.”

@Prommie: they were probably on that show, but the one that apparently made them fame-whores of note was The Hills. I’ve never seen a minute of it.

@blogenfreude: you mean the British model with the huge implants?

@Mistress Cynica: now, if Levi Johnston had a reality TV show, I might watch it.

@Mistress Cynica: Apologies to Manchu, Cracker and really everybody else but it’s the first thing that came to mind:

Well I’ve been up to Wasilla,
and I’ve played hockey in the dark.
Went down on Bristol,
just on a lark.
And I’ll search the world over
for my angel in black.
Yeah, I’ll search the world over
for a White-trash Girl.

Took the train down to the Twin Cities
put on a shirt and a tie.
Some GOP junkie in Houston
offered to take pictures of my ass.
Yeah, I’ll search the world over
for my angel in black.
Yeah, search the world over
for a White-trash Girl.

The SarPal campaign
shook me down for a bribe.
On my knees for the Guv’nor
when my passport arrived.
Yeah, I’ll search the world over
for my angel in black.
Yeah, I’ll search the world over
for a White-trash Girl

White-trash Girl, White-trash girl.
White-trash Girl, White-trash girl.

Called my mom from a payphone
I said “I’m down to my last.”
She said “I’m doing time for narcotics…
now go call your dad.”
And the waitress that he married,
well she hung up the phone.
So I’ll strip to my boxers,
and show them what I own.

Got paid off when I was eighteen.
Spent it all in a night,
buying drinks at the Big Su
for a senator in drag.
And I’ll search the world over
for my angel in black.
Yeah, I’ll search the world over
for a Whjte-trash Girl

@The Nabisco Quiver: To paraphrase Manchu, at least some of you can still talk football in September.

/Bronco fan

@mellbell: This person.

@Mistress Cynica:

(Gasp!! … falls out of chair…)

@redmanlaw: UCLA football season opens this Saturday. Keep hope alive.

@blogenfreude: So… she’s a model, singer, author, and actress, who is kind of heinous-looking, can’t sing, can’t write, and can’t act? Got it.

@mellbell: Did she lose the Eurovision contest that year to Lordi, that Finnish knockoff of GWAR?

TJ/ And it’s not even Cocktober.

@redmanlaw: Wait, you follow Eurovision? I thought only my wife and other Europeans did that…

@blogenfreude: failed Eurovision performer, sure. “Get me outta here” contestant with John Lydon, okay. But surgery to go from a perfectly respectable B to an F? That is a crime against humanity.

@The Nabisco Quiver: Not Eurovision, but Metal. It takes you some strange places.

@mellbell: Maybe a Slipknot-style mask would help.

@redmanlaw: I don’t even want to talk about it. Fucking Belichick disciples come in and think they’re hot-shit coaches automatically.

@JNOV: a plea deal for three years (in his case) and only 40 days (in hers)? Oh, hell no. Not with what they did.

@Signal to Noise: The Hoodie Jr? Even my kid says the coach looks like he’s in high school.

@JNOV: @Signal to Noise: Well, good thing they’re white Christians in Virginia trying to teach those wayward foster children the Book of the Lord by means of raping them. They were spreading the good word! It’s not like they deserve to be in prison with all those horrible colored heathens serving 25 year sentences for burglary and drug sales.

Sorry I can’t really snark on that story, it’s so fucking horrific. Put them in solitary confinement 24/7 in a SHU so they won’t be attacked and have plenty of time to think about what they did and lose their minds.

@JNOV: Those fucking sentences are fucking making me stabby. Sure does help being a prominent christian, I suppose, in them parts. 3 fucking years, are you kidding me?

@SanFranLefty: Having relatives who were molested in foster care as children and seeing how it still affects their lives–daily–30 years later, I want those two to Rot. In. Hell. And 40 days so she can be home with their young children? Are you shitting me??? Like she should ever be alone in a room with a child again.

@redmanlaw: McHobo Junior needs to learn you can’t pull the amateur Napoleon act until you win a few games. He looks like the freaking equipment manager from my high school football team. Every Coach Hobo disciple thinks they’re hot shit when they get a head job — Crennel, Mangini, Weis….it’s incredible.

I loathe Coach Hobo, but he’s a very, very good coach and has earned the right to be a complete prick. His progeny need to do something of worth first.

@Prommie: People here wanted me to apply for an opening on the bench. I like my skeletons where they are so I didn’t really feel like going through the application and confirmation process (although getting a “what, you again?” look from the Gov. might have been fun) but damn, talk about an opportunity to do some justice, especially in cases like this.

Historical note: I helped a guy in my firm become judge a few years ago so I could get his office. Windows, lilacs and roses outside, nice old oak floors . . .

@Mistress Cynica: Like she should ever be allowed by the state to have a child. Treat her like the crackheads who have their babies taken from them at birth because of past abuse of older siblings. She’s no different, and in fact, she’s worse.

Yeah, getting home to her two small children – what, so she can rape them, too? Talk about special treatment – under most states’ laws, a conviction like that is the basis for an automatic termination of parental rights of all other children, even if they hadn’t been touched. Theory is that removing one kid doesn’t mean that the attention won’t be turned to the next one in line.

@Mistress Cynica:

My thought exactly – WTF is the court doing sending this lady home to “be with her children”? We KNOW what that entails, based on the court records. The only thing she should be going home to is an ankle bracelet and a lifetime registration requirement.

It’s heartbreaking that the victims didn’t want the two little boys to grow up without a mother. It’s also heartbreaking that the two little boys are evidently going to grow up with that mother. And after another few years their prince of a father will get out of jail!

Bible verses that justify such behavior? Talk about the Devil quoting scripture for his purposes!