Forget It, Levi, It’s Wasillatown

But in this version, the story involves Oxy rights.

We don’t care if he’s going to do for Playgirl what he did for GQ — Levi Johnston strikes us as the only decent human in the Wasilla Funhouse. Especially if you’re grading on a curve:

Sarah told me she had a great idea: we would keep it a secret — nobody would know that Bristol was pregnant. She told me that once Bristol had the baby she and Todd would adopt him. That way, she said, Bristol and I didn’t have to worry about anything. Sarah kept mentioning this plan. She was nagging — she wouldn’t give up. She would say, “So, are you gonna let me adopt him?” We both kept telling her we were definitely not going to let her adopt the baby. I think Sarah wanted to make Bristol look good, and she didn’t want people to know that her 17-year-old daughter was going to have a kid.

Imagine, if you will, the dramatic scene some twenty years from now:

He’s my brother…


My son…


My brother… my son…


He’s my brother AND my son!

Levi Johnston: “Me and Mrs. Palin” [Vanity Fair]

Was this in reference to Trig or Tripp? Or Tugboat?

Sigh. I was hoping it would have been more:

“Mrs Palin, are you trying to seduce me?”

Whoever first suggested (Jamie?) the doublewide in the lawn outside the Naval Observatory remains a Stinque All-Star.

@nojo: Jamie has a gift for the perfect comment, more reliable than anyone else, I have been meaning to say that for a while.

@Mistress Cynica: You can take the girl out of Oklahoma . . .

@Mistress Cynica: My apologies — you were my second guess, and I should have included you in my parenthesis.

Or, you know, just looked it up first.

I read part of the article abstract and it sounded reasonable. Talibunny spent a lot of time complaining about how hard her job was. Lines up with her non-stop posturing as a persecuted heroine. Hilarious. Runs after executive positions with both hands and, once she gets one, thinks she gets to have a life! Wow.

@nojo: You, you, you and your friends are just reckless.

@FlyingChainSaw: Levi really strikes me as an ordinary kid thrust into an extraordinary situation — Monday morning you’re an unknown dude who knocked up the governor’s daughter, and within 24 hours you’re a major prop for a presidential campaign.

Even my worst acid trip can’t match that reality-inverting experience.

And once he was thrown under the bus, everything he has said — especially the way he’s said it — has had the ring of truth, even more so when compared to highly calculated (when not ghostwritten) remarks that issue from his ex-mother-in-law-in-waiting. Once he takes some lessons in public speaking that may change, but for now it’s Team Levi for me.

@nojo: Yes, I’m on Team Levi too, but Playgirl? They still publish that magazine? Is he going to grow a mustache and recline on a bear skin rug?

/whoa, two mustache comments in two days.

@SanFranLefty: The print version of Playgirl is apparently dead, and the photos will be undie shots — nothing more revealing than what GQ already published, nor more revealing than famous commercials of years past. If Levi was an NFL quarterback, we wouldn’t even notice.

He may cross the line someday, but for now I hope Levi cashes in on every cheesy opportunity he gets. Talibunny certainly is.

@nojo: Yeah, at first he seemed to be a smug and dimwitted tool latching on to the Palin Express. Not that this is an honorable path to sainthood, but at least he’s playing the thick-but-honorable card. Who knows, there may be a career for him in gay porn after all.

@nojo: He is way too stupid to make up anything interesting and sticky mediawise. Talibunny is lucky he can only plainly repeat what he saw and heard. Imagine if one of us was pestorking Bristol and found ourselves in the position to drive Talibunny to barking fury by relating tales to the press of Talibunny’s penchant for beastiality and wanton venality.

@The Nabisco Quiver: Pre-fame, Levi (per his MySpace page) was certainly smug and dimwitted, but only in the way you’d expect from a high school star athlete — just another American teenage jock, and probably not one I would have liked.

September through December, he was on a tight leash — not latching onto the Express, but being dragged behind it. (For chrissake, he was a rural Alaskan, not someone you’d credit with wily media-savvy sophistication.)

Only after he was cut loose could we get a reading on how typical he really is — just some yahoo kid like any other, but with everyone in the American media establishment wanting a piece of him. I think he’d rather be left alone and go hunting, but dude’s gotta pay the rent. And Mom’s legal expenses.

On the other hand…I don’t see Levi doing much baby tending of the child of the girl he knocked up.

@texrednface: Kicked out of the house, visitation restricted. We can’t know either way whether he would have played Caring Father, but he hasn’t been given an opportunity to prove himself.

Can’t. Clan Palin has circled the wagons. Poor What-ever-his-name-is is going to grow up to hate his daddy Levi or is going psycho with Gangee’s rifles at the age of 22 during the Palin Thanksgiving Dinner.

@ManchuCandidate: A 10 year old kid near Albuquerque shot his dad in the back of the head with a shotgun over the weekend. They’re looking into child abuse or neglect. Kids here can’t be charged as adults until they’re 14 or above.

@nojo: A double wide?! My word! I would never suggest anything so luxurious for those snowbillies.

@redmanlaw: Would have been more impressive if he’d taken Dad out the way that Bugsy Siegel got it: Now, that killer could shoot.

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