It’s Over

DEVELOPING HARD: Farve, Belichick to meet Friday in Foxboro; 1-year deal possible.

@chicago bureau: He’ll end up in Minnesota.

Does this mean that Farve will be the white/football version of Magic Johnson (he of the 50 billion retirements?)

@ManchuCandidate:
Are you implying that Brett’s on the down low?

ManchuCandidate: Oh hai — tidbit: Magic Johnson has had the AIDS for eighteen years now. Anybody who called that back in 1991 should cash that check right away before the banks fail.

You can say a lot about the guy, but being the first prominent guy to stare down HIV and live this long? I haz hope.

@SanFranLefty:
@chicago bureau:
Nope. Just a decade ago that Magic was retiring and unretiring year after year.

Who are these people?

yeah, whatever. Non-factor of the year.

How about some *real* sports coverage?

http://deadspin.com/5150448/skiing-celebrations-more-dangerous-than-skiing

or . . .

http://deadspin.com/5150517/maam-theres-a-dog-in-your-crotch-tales-from-westminster

@redmanlaw:
Did you see it when the Scotty took a piss on the floor of MSG during the Best in Show competition? Totally made me root for him, though I was thrilled about the geriatric spaniel winning.

Benedick: OK. Fine.

Brett Farve: Reached demigod status in Wisconsin while he was quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, restoring them to former glory. Addicted to pain pills for a while. Played hurt, played often. Then retired, and then unretired when he realized that football was all that he was, and thus played a year for the Jets. Now retired again.

Bill Belichick: Wizard of a football coach. Makes everybody around him better. Witness everybody going ga-ga over Charlie Weis (former assistant coach who left to run Notre Dame’s football program — was good for a year and then stunk up the joint). Caught cheating last year — unauthorized acquisition of videotape of Jets. Went on to win eighteen straight games last season before losing to the Giants in the Super Bowl.

Magic Johnson: Point-guard for the Los Angeles Lakers. Before that: college ball at Michigan State, where he hooked up for a game against Larry Bird (Indiana State). Bird and Magic basically ruled the 1980s, with Bird draining 3s for the Boston Celtics. Several meetups in the NBA Finals (the pair beat each other twice; Bird claiming three titles overall, Magic four). Now runs a chain of movie theaters and kicks HIV’s ass.

Scotty who took a piss on the floor of Madison Square Garden: Better known as Scottie Pippen. (Oh, that was mean.)

@SanFranLefty: Missed the dog show. Cuts into our Keith and Rachel time. Plus that, I had a case of brain death from going to the Legislature yesterday. I can’t believe I used to want to play the game.

@Benedick: Men in Sport (American).

@Benedick:
we don’t want to know, we don’t care.

@blogenfreude: Because God called him?

@chicago bureau: Thank you. Now I know.

@chicago bureau:
That was mean. To dogs.

For your information, the Scotty is a girl dog named Sadie. She squatted and took a big old leak right after doing her lap as the winner of the Terrier group in the final Best in Show. Totally something my dog would have done.

Sad that the Dachshunds didn’t make it to the finals.

@SanFranLefty:
Damn, but not surprised about no wiener dogs.

They are a little high strung and anti-social (at least our family pets were.) Although I suspect they took after my family which is a little high strung and anti-social.

@ManchuCandidate: Are you sure you’re not thinking of Michael Jordan? If I recall, there was such fear of AIDS at the time Magic was diagnosed that he retired permanently because people were afraid he bleed or sweat on them and they’d get teh Aids. Sidenote: On his way out of the doctor’s building after receiving what amounted to a death sentence at the time, He stopped an cheerfully signed autographs and posed for pics with fans. Class.

SanFranLefty: I hope the puppehs do not take offense.

And speaking of failed jokes: take a look at Eric Cantor. Listen up, GOP hacks: YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. When you try to be funny, you fail miserably. I say this because I care.

@Mistress Cynica:
Probably would have been a better example.

Where did all these thugs come from?

@SanFranLefty: “Sad that the Dachshunds didn’t make it to the finals.” What the hell kind of dog show is it that doesn’t have dachshunds? That’s just not right. Last year there was a wire-haired, the best kind of dachshund, but this year nothing? I blame Michael Steele.

@ManchuCandidate: Excuse me. wiener dogs?!!

@Prommie: Ask Ray the Mixologist

Dear Ray:

My martini was inexplicably foamy last night. Was it a combination of being shaken and very cold with a touch too much dry vermouth? Also, now that I have developed a taste for Hendrick’s, a Sapphire martini tastes like dishwater and must be dirty. What to do?

Signed,

Preplexed

@redmanlaw: RML, even with prodigious amounts of vermouth, and vigorous shaking, I have never seen more than a few bubbles around the edge of a martini; I suspect detergent.

Yes, the bad thing about Hendricks is that it will ruin you for anything less. I would try Gordons. Gordons is as good as Beefeaters at half the price, and its not trying to be a superpremium. Maybe it is for that reason that my tastebuds adjust their expectations, and it never disappoints me, in fact, I find myself thinking “at $14.99 for a 1.75 liter, why do I drink anything else?”

@Prommie: AH! Hence the dishwater taste! Ray – a MacArthur Foundation grant for you!

Actually, a spoonful of olive juice really did the trick. Another fine end of the day by the fire with a good drink.

@Mistress Cynica: You’re right, our secret Sport Fan Cyn. Magic tried to continue playing after his diagnosis, but the league wasn’t exactly welcoming. He also tried coaching, which was a Fail. Jordan retired and played baseball, came back then retired and I think came back again.

On a sad Reverse Magic note, Roberto Alomar has full-blown AIDS. Sad mostly because he knew and still had teh sex without disclosure or a cover.

@redmanlaw: The dirty martini, it hides a multitude of flaws, like beer goggles, it allows you to go home with a gin you ordinarily would never be seen with.

@redmanlaw: Are you sure that the martini glass didn’t have a residue of soap on it from the last cleaning? That’s the most likely source of excess bubbles.

@Benedick: I’ve been meaning to ask – did you bring the puppeh to Ess Eff with you or do you have a Dog Whisperer watching the Dachshund?

@nabisco: I bet that umpire he spit on is scared shitless right about now.

@SanFranLefty: The shaker prolly had some soap in it. I should fire myself as dishwasher.

@Mistress Cynica: No, it was Magic Johnson. He’s pretty visible around LA these days, and is now officially Big As A House. Owns a piece of the Lakers and a lot of businesses in the area. Smart guy.

@nabisco: I remember the big news on 9-11-01 before 9 AM was Jordan either coming out of or going into retirement. That’s what I was watching on CNN in the airport terminal before boarding the plane that never took off.

@SanFranLefty: We hired a guy to live at the house while we’re away to take care of the dogs. Of course the first thing Bruno did was bite him. I try not to call home. I don’t want to hear bad news.

@Benedick: I was in London once when I got an e-mail from the catsitter with the subject line “Kitty snared me in her evil web.” I went back to Harrods and got her a nicer gift.

B-b-b-b-but…he was having SO MUCH FUN OUT THERE!

@Mistress Cynica: That’s very good. I’m told the dogs take turns sitting in our sitter’s lap. He’s also commented that Bruno is very nice to sleep with. Which he is.

@Mistress Cynica: You were waiting to take off when 9/11 happened? Jesus.

My bunnies have a sitter whenever I’m away for more than a night. People think I’m nuts, but since they’re prey animals they’re good a disguising sickness until it’s pretty serious, so having a rabbit-savvy person with them who knows what to watch for gives me a lot of peace of mind…and I just wrote “piece of mind” first, but maybe that’s more accurate anyway.

@Prommie:

What do you think of Tanquray 10?

@flippin eck: @Mistress Cynica: @Benedick: Our late great Akbar could be left on her own for a week at a time as long as I left enough dry food and a big tub of water. The litter box was always a handful, but she was non-plussed. My mother thought I was terrible, but the only time we drew bad cards was when the apartment flooded and sweet thing was stranded on a coffee table with an inch of the wet stuff all around her. Fortunately that was just an overnight.

Our current occupant is a crafty male, and I have no doubt he’d re-arrange the furniture and order tunafish pizza if we didn’t have someone check in on him. He likes to chew paper, leading to the first documented instance in my household of a child going to school with “my pet ate my homework” endorsed by his folks.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Really I prefer regular Tanqueray, I don’t much like the higher proof boozes, though, I put my liver through enough. I like Plymouth, and Van Gogh, and worship at the alter of Hendricks. I’m gonna try the new french gin sometime, I love all things french. But Gordons is hunky-dory for me.

So, anyone else interested in the National Review mediterranean cruise this summer, July 8 through 16? Oh boy, exploring Greece with Karl Rove, John Bolton, and Dick Morris, sound like fun?

@Prommie:
I like the sounds of this instead:
“Up Periscope”
“Match Bearings”
“Fire Tube One. Fire Tube Two.”

I may regret asking this, but why is everyone flipping over the whole steroids thingy?

Isn’t that like being shocked over the fakeness of pro wrestling or the non-existence of Santa Claus?

Oh, and @Tommmcatt Yet Again: Bombay Blue Sapphire is the sweetest love of all.

@Prommie: Great vacation idea. Buy tix and resell them on Craigslist as an exclusive opportunity to scream at Karl Rove for six days with no way for him to escape.

@Original Andrew:
Something about the integrity of the game. I won’t go into some George Will epic poem about loving guys who scratch themselves and spit tobacco juice about it though.

Agreed on the Bombay.

@Original Andrew: there is a cadre of old white men who see baseball as “the intellectual game”, men who dabble in such mythological crap like Will, but many others who write about it on a daily basis with this sort of mentality; who find Rodriguez’s actions an affront to the national pastime, part of a “tainted” era.

Every fucking era in baseball is pretty tainted to me: before they were popping amphetamines and shooting up roids, non-white men couldn’t compete. So, outrage over this seems useless, but everyone has to believe in athletic purity despite the fact that pro sports are a business and a livelihood for a lot of men with athletic talent, but sometimes, not much in the way of brains — especially in baseball.

@ManchuCandidate, OA: Let’s just make Sapphire the Official Gin of stinque.com

Favorite bourbon? Wild Turkey (of course). The 87 is good enough for me. I did throw some 101 into Mrs RML’s toddy last night, though.

@redmanlaw: Not wild about Sapphire, but the bottle is pretty. I’m a Hendricks and Knob Creek girl. When I can afford it. The rest of the time I’m drinking whatever Irish whiskey’s on sale.
BTW, everyone here at the airport bar in PDX (complete with laptop stations) just sang happy birthday to a total stranger. I love this place.

@Original Andrew:

Mmmmm, forgot about Sapphire…that’s going on my menu for tonight.

@redmanlaw: Havana Club anejo, neat. Flor de Cana as backup.

@redmanlaw: Wild Turkey? The Bird? Among my redneck friends, it was the Bird, or Grandad. Thank God I discovered Makers Mark and Bookers, how can anyone prefer anything to Bookers, without going ultra ultra premium?

@nabisco: And Oh Yes, I recently discovered that rum is not Bacardi, or I should say vice versa, there are some tasty tasty rums out there, I offer this is just a regularly available and not too expensive one, Pussers.

I can drink just about anything but gin. Especially Bombay Blue Sapphire. I literally can’t force myself to swallow it.
I think part of my gin aversion goes back to high school, when a few of us had an agreement that each day one of us would bring a thermos of something alcoholic to study hall. Usually that was accomplished by stealing some from the parents’ liquor cabinet and watering the bottle so it would be undetectable. Unfortunately, my mother wasn’t one who kept booze around too often. One time when it was my turn, all I could find at home was Beefeaters. I mixed it with root beer in the thermos.
Do not ever mix gin with root beer.
The few times since then that I have had any gin and been able to swallow it without gagging, I have had blinding headaches. This from a person who is famous for never having hangovers.
So, no gin for me, thank you.

Oh, and regarding that redneck turd Favre: Good riddance. He was never as good as his hype even when he was young, he was always selfish and childish, and he couldn’t accept that he had become an old broken down multimultimillionnaire, and needed to retire. He screwed the franchise that had given him his career by dicking around and being coy, then demanding that he be cowtowed to when he changed his peabrained mind and wanted to “unretire”. It’s a sad commentary on how pathetic the Jets are that they signed this bozo and went with him as a starter. Go away, Brett, you’ve outlived any good will the American public ever had for you. Go hunt ducks in the swamp with Will Clark, or something.

@Promnight: A sip of dark, aged rum sends warm spirals of pleasure throughout my nervous system, not unlike that first draw from the needle must feel for a seasoned junky.

@Ewalda: Gin and root beer?!? Good Gawd, man, it’s a wonder you can choke down any alcohol.

I got the sickest I’ve ever been my freshman year of college from Malibu rum. The smell of coconut to this day makes me retch. I only rediscovered rum when I was in Cuba and drank the real stuff, not the shit from the D.R. or Puerto Rico. And I’m weird and like only minimal sugar in the mojito. Flor de Cana is pretty good, though, and Panama has some good small label rums. Unicorn needs to lift that embargo, though, so we can all experience what we’ve missed when it comes to cigars and rum.

@SanFranLefty: One learns tough lessons at seventeen that can last a lifetime.

@SanFranLefty:
Prairie Fires (the version I suffered with was made with cheap Tequilla.) Bad Tequilla still makes my stomach churn.

Being in the evil land of Canada City, I’ve smoked a few Cubanos and drank some Cuban rum. I prefer Dominican cigars for the most part but the Cuban rum is nicer than the crap we usually get here.

@SanFranLefty @Ewalda:

Whiskey and Jägermeister are the two poisons I’ll never touch again.

Gaahhh, I’m gonna barf just thinking about them.

@Ewalda: Yes, I was 17 the first and only time I drank Malibu. Then again, I think I drank more than a lifetime’s worth of Malibu that night. It seems to have the taste and consistency of suntan lotion.

@SanFranLefty: Rule number one about Rum: Don’t drink rum made in Canada. Malibu rum is the “lets get this chick drunk” liquor version of Zema.

But, that was the times, you are not to blame. My verision of that story happened on the occasion of the first home football game of my freshman year. You understand I went to an SEC school? Now I was poor, very very poor, in college, I was living on PBJs and turkey franks, big night out, I had $10 bucks for my budget. Really. Young folk, this is true stuff, $10 bucks for a saturday night out. Thats four pitchers of beer at $2.25 a pitcher. But this was a night game, and I had three freinds, and we pooled our money, and bought a handle of Jack Daniels. A 1.75 liter. And we brought it to the night game. They simply did not care what you brought in back then. But we only had enough money for two coke’s each, they were huge, like big gulps, so we each had two 32-oz bourbon and Cokes.

First night I ever slept under a bush.

@Promnight: Was the peanut butter that USGov’t stuff in the five-gallon tins that you had to stir every time you wanted to eat it because it always separated? I hated that stuff.

@SanFranLefty: I always managed to keep a bottle of Havana Club añejo in the cabinet when I lived overseas, but the day to day stuff was always Flor de Caña. It is not just okay, it is fantástico, especially the gran reserva. But it has to be Nica made; the family split and the contra side took the label to Honduras and started selling knockoff rum that was just an embarassment. Sadly the Pennsyltucky state stores don’t stock it; best I can get is a Virgin Islands aged rum that is good but not great.

The trick with rum is to drink so much to get drunk and then see if you have a hangover the next day. If you do, it was shitty rum. Repeat.