With the Birther Sitcom on hiatus, WorldNetDaily has turned its attention to the next authoritarian cabal that will provide a pretext for enslaving reality-dodging God-fearing Americans: Swine Flu.

The Pig Dawn scenario, in case you’ve been distracted by Project Runway, is that the Nazis subverting our Republic will use an H1N1 outbreak to declare martial law and put those reconstituted FEMA camps back into service.

Now all that’s needed is to mangle some facts to fit the fear.

Say, how about microchip implants?

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Title: “Grassley: Senator from Iowa”

Author: Eric Woolson

Rank: 3,249,296

Blurb: None.

Review: None. Be the first to write your own!

Footnote: This (presidential campaign?) bio for Grassley, perpetual winner of our Douchebag of the Nearest Available Time Slot and non-whoring friend of C Street, was written in 1995 by the future PR Miracle for Mike Huckabee. However, we can find no evidence that the pages aren’t blank.

Grassley: Senator from Iowa [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

Talk-show host Sean Hannity, a vocal opponent of Barack Obama’s policies, said today he would not rule out a bid for the presidency in 2012…

“I’ve never made a decision in my life without — whatever destiny God has you’ve got to fulfill it,” he said. “I’m not sure that’s my destiny.”

• Satan’s bitch
• Glenn Beck’s fluffer
• Shark Week celebrity chum

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It’s been a busy week in matriarchal feces-flinging at the First Family, perhaps revealing pent-up resentment at a generation of jabs at Barbara Bush, from whom Shrub inherited his testicles.

Thursday’s fracas stemmed from a weekend post by Townhall fabulist Kristen Atkinson, whose now-deleted (but still cached) missive managed to take down the First Granny a peg without mentioning Nancy Reagan’s astrologer:

The Obama White House is abuzz with talk of witchcraft by first grandmother, 72-year-old Marian Robinson, who lives in the White House residence. A close friend of Michelle Obama says the president is furious at his mother-in-law after learning that she was practicing Santeria, an African spirit cult, in the White House.

We’ve been known to practice Sangria ourselves on festive occasions, so we’re not sure what the problem is. But Atkinson only made things worse for herself after complaining to warblogger-edited Wonkette that she is not to be trifled with:

I posted a very serious article recently in Townhall.com about witchcraft in the White House, and later realized that your website had made a farce out of it.

And there we’re inclined to agree. You can’t make a farce out of posts like Atkinson’s. All you can do is celebrate them as such.

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Continuing Presidential Fashion Day, let’s go to correspondent Andy McCarthy at the Corner…

Derb, I’ve noticed that President Obama frequently forgoes the necktie — lately, even in public appearances. That reminded me — I have no idea why — that the Iranian regime has shunned the necktie ever since Khomeini pronounced it a symbol of Western decadence. I’ve always assumed that’s why Michael Ledeen is often pictured wearing a big, bold tie — you know, as a signal to the other conspirators.

Well, it’s an improvement over Hitler comparisons, we guess. And as Think Progress observes, previous Conspirator-in-Chief Dubya also proclaimed his hatred of America in plain sight.

Looking for something — anything — to distract us, we stumbled across what looked like a fun controversy: criticism of Michelle Obama’s vacationwear.

The headlines were all over Google News: Michelle Obama Shorts spark debate! Michelle Obama’s shorts causing a stir! Michelle Obama’s Shorts: too short? Even the Today show did a segment on the First Gams:

During a recent family vacation to the Grand Canyon, Michelle Obama stepped off Air Force One in a pair of “short shorts” that some are calling inappropriate.

Great, we thought. Let’s find some stupid people saying stupid things.

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Picking up one of our favorite subjects from the past couple of weeks, a new poll asks 909 voters what they really think about socialized medicine:

Do you think the government should stay out of Medicare?

Yes: 39%

No: 46%

Not Sure: 15%

If we grant the wish of 4 out of 10 Americans (and 6 out of 10 Republicans), we’ll have enough left over to cover everyone else and keep costs down. Let’s do it!

Obama’s approval…increases [Public Policy Polling (PDF), via TPM]