Yo Momma!

Have we actually blogged this long without a Psycho reference?

It’s been a busy week in matriarchal feces-flinging at the First Family, perhaps revealing pent-up resentment at a generation of jabs at Barbara Bush, from whom Shrub inherited his testicles.

Thursday’s fracas stemmed from a weekend post by Townhall fabulist Kristen Atkinson, whose now-deleted (but still cached) missive managed to take down the First Granny a peg without mentioning Nancy Reagan’s astrologer:

The Obama White House is abuzz with talk of witchcraft by first grandmother, 72-year-old Marian Robinson, who lives in the White House residence. A close friend of Michelle Obama says the president is furious at his mother-in-law after learning that she was practicing Santeria, an African spirit cult, in the White House.

We’ve been known to practice Sangria ourselves on festive occasions, so we’re not sure what the problem is. But Atkinson only made things worse for herself after complaining to warblogger-edited Wonkette that she is not to be trifled with:

I posted a very serious article recently in Townhall.com about witchcraft in the White House, and later realized that your website had made a farce out of it.

And there we’re inclined to agree. You can’t make a farce out of posts like Atkinson’s. All you can do is celebrate them as such.

We’re also celebrating accusations that First Thighmaster Michelle Obama is running a harem of “26 servants” in the East Wing, as reported by maple-leaf raggers Canada Free Press this week. FactCheck.org had a look at an earlier version of the story this month, and found 22 staffers working for $1.6 million — compared to Laura Bush’s $1.4 million tab for 18 attendants, and a chain email making the rounds suggesting that recent First Laydeez enjoyed only one or three Laydeez in Waiting. Not since Mamie, gang, if even then.

Which brings us to Barry’s mom. And WorldNetDaily. Strap in, folks!

WND, last seen flogging the Kenyan birth certificate, and frustrated by its inability to read contemporary newspapers, is now building a case that Barry’s a bastard:

Additional documents uncovered by WND support a previous report that President Obama’s parents did not live together as husband and wife at the Honolulu address listed in birth announcements in two local newspapers…

Additional research has established that the grandparents, Madelyn and Stanley Dunham, lived at 6085 Kalanianaole Highway, not Barack Obama Sr. and Ann Dunham.

Funny about that “additional research” — WND’s “previous report” said no relation lived at 6085, which was the only straw left to contradict the birth announcements. WND doesn’t regret the error, because WND doesn’t acknowledge it.

Nor does WND acknowledge that they just hammered the final nail into the Birther coffin: “At most, Ann Dunham Obama and her son lived at 6085 Kalanianaole Highway only a few days” — before Momma Obama enrolled at the University of Washington and moved to Seattle with Baby Barry a couple weeks after he was born.

(Handy tip for geographically challenged Americans: Washington is one of the United States.)

So where does this leave us? Barack Obama is still a natural-born citizen. The story of his childhood, which he wrote a book about, perhaps has a few additional details. And maybe, just maybe, we understand better why he’s fought so hard to prevent assholes from disgracing his mother.


Where’s the mysterious Canada City broadcaster who no one in Canada City has EVER heard about? Brad somethingerother?

What bothers me isn’t the fact that World Nut is flinging poo against the wall to find something that would stick to Barry, but that it is apparent that the wall is imaginary and, hilariously, the poo is not.

Canada City you say? Why, its right past Shelbyville as a crow flys…

I’m going to see Santeria practice against the Ratskins this weekend, Holmes.

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