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In wondering what would compel someone as famously nice as Tiger Woods to total his ride in the driveway in the dead of night, we turn to Wayne Brady for an explanation.

Tiger Woods hurt in car accident in front of his Florida home [LAT]

Author and radio host Amy Goodman (no, we don’t know her, either) was driving to Canada on Wednesday to promote her book in Vancouver and Victoria. At the B.C. border crossing, she was asked to get out of her car. Ninety minutes later, car, notes and computer thoroughly searched, she was allowed to resume her journey — provided she got the hell out of Canada within 48 hours.

Good lord, what does it take to get Canadians pissed at you?

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While some of us were admiring Michelle Obama’s dress Tuesday night at the State Dinner, and others were trying to raise a — how you say — stink about Republicans who weren’t invited (but who really were and just skipped the event), Sacha Baron Cohen a truly uninvited couple snuck past the guards:

The Secret Service is investigating how a fame-seeking couple crashed President Obama’s first state dinner Tuesday night, gliding in past security with no invitation and taking photos with Vice President Biden and others.

Michaele and Tareq Salahi [shown above], who are trying to get on the Bravo reality show “Real Housewives of Washington,” were not on the guest list to the official event, but somehow made it past a gauntlet of security checkpoints.

All’s well that ends well — no harm, no foul — but the Secret Service is sending some highly stained underwear to the cleaners:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is-e1FX8-D4

Readings and Resources for Planning Your Black Friday [NYT]

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: New mega balloons get set to soar [Daily News]

For all we know, Bubba taped some naughty Monica parodies with Buddy and Socks, but we can only remember the horror of BarneyCam. We have an obligation to send you off for the holiday with appropriate dread, however, so here’s the White House Turkey Preview. We promise to make up for it — big time — Thanksgiving morning.

For a moment, we thought that Sarah Palin copped a roach from Dana Perino:

Really? A tax on national defense? I hear liberal Congressional proposals and I, like most Americans, wonder if they’re serious. We’re going to put a price tag on security?

Like most Americans, we wonder whether Talibunny’s a sociopath, but that’s another topic. The issue here apparently is that Nancy Pelosi is considering a “graduated surtax on American taxpayers to finance the war in Afghanistan,” so that China doesn’t have to keep underwriting our empire.

And much to the amazement of most Americans, it seems there is a price tag on security:

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