To the Teabagger who asked when she could get her country back, here’s the answer: She still has two generations to ruin it for everyone else.

The country’s financial meltdown and post-Sept. 11 immigration enforcement have slowed the growth of minority groups here. If those conditions remain the norm, whites would make up the majority of the population until 2050, eight years later than previously projected.

That’s according to a report from the Fascism Accountability Office Census Bureau, which also delays the projected 400 million citizens from 2039 until whenever.

For comparison, we’re at 308 million souls right now, two-thirds of which are real Americans. You don’t know whining until we Eurotrash-Americans lose even that substantial margin.

White Americans’ majority to continue until 2050, report says [LAT]

Once upon a time, a great leader named Slick Willie got his willie slicked. And while the people of Slick Willie’s land loved Slick Willie, Slick Willie’s friend Lockbox Al feared Slick Willie’s slick willie, and ran away as far from Slick Willie as fast as he could, leaving Slick Willie’s throne to the usurper, Burning Shrub.

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Not satisfied to stiff her fans by charging for photos, Sarah Palin is also saving pennies for that Gulfstream Bus by stiffing the people who make her photogenic:

Sarah Palin not only annoyed leaders of the Utah Republican Party when she didn’t have time for them during her book signing stop in Salt Lake City last week. She also took off from her hotel after arranging for a last-minute hair appointment without paying the hairdresser and leaving her to cover her own valet parking.

Rhonda Halliday of Images Hair Studio and Day Spa is sure it’s all just a misunderstanding, since the future leader of the free world can’t be bothered with small details like paying the help. And it really wasn’t that much trouble — Halliday merely was called at 8 a.m. for the emergency perm, had to get her husband to leave work in order to take their 3-year-old to the dentist for a filling, and had to follow a few simple rules, such as “don’t talk to Palin unless she talks first.”

All we can say is this: at least John Edwards paid for his $400 haircuts.

Check from Palin in the mail? [Salt Lake Tribune, via Washington Independent]

You didn’t know GOP sex pervert Ted Alvin Klaudt by name until today. But thanks to innovative marketing by GOP sex pervert Ted Alvin Klaudt, the name of Ted Alvin Klaudt will forever be associated with GOP sex perversion in the public mind.

For Ted Alvin Klaudt, a famous GOP sex pervert, has copyrighted his name:

A letter and an accompanying document labeled “Common Law Copyright Notice” said former state Rep. Ted Alvin Klaudt is reserving a common-law copyright of a trade name or trademark for his name. It said no one can use his name without his consent, and anyone who does would owe him $500,000.

You might ask why renowned GOP sex pervert Ted Alvin Klaudt would go to such lengths to corner the market in associations of Ted Alvin Klaudt with GOP sex perversion. Representatives of Ted Alvin Klaudt, whose name is synonymous with GOP sex perversion, aren’t saying, but we imagine it has something to do with keeping details like this from appearing in venues like ours:

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Today in 1773, rebel colonists performed the first recorded mass sexual act in American history:

Colonists objected to the Tea Act for a variety of reasons, especially because they believed that it violated their right to be taxed only by their own elected representatives… Royal Governor Thomas Hutchinson … apparently did not expect that the protestors would choose to destroy the tea rather than concede the authority of a legislature in which they were not directly represented.

Wikipedia also corrects the legend that Boston teabaggers were disguised as Indians. Modern-day teabaggers, as we know, frequently disguise themselves as idiots.

Boston Tea Party [Wikipedia]

We have only two questions regarding healthcare reform:

1. Is it better than what exists?

2. Does it screw us over?

The second question has never been an absolute deal-breaker for us — just an ongoing note of concern. We can deal with some degree of fuckitude for the good of the Republic. Just be gentle with us.

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Constitutional scholar Glenn Beck is no stranger to channeling the ghosts of the Founders, who were avid retail gold speculators and resorted to crying when debating the finer points of establishing post roads. But today on his radio show, Beck explored a nuance of Foundational gamesmanship that had hitherto escaped us:

Do you know who wanted slaves to be counted as a full person?… Slave owners… The reason why they wanted that is because of the balance of power. The South could control the numbers in Congress. Their representation would go through the roof… That’s why, in the Constitution, African-Americans were deemed three-fifths people, because the Founders wanted to end slavery and they knew if the South could count slaves as full individuals you would never get the control to be able to abolish it.

As we know, the Founders wanted to end slavery so much, they diddled the help and waited until everyone was generations dead before addressing it. And by cleverly granting slaves three-fifths of a vote while denying them the right to vote, they were able to place themselves on the right side of history, whenever history was ready to catch up with them.

Beck Defends Founding Fathers’ Decision To Count African-Americans As Three-Fifths Of A Person [Think Progress]

Does Glenn Beck support the slave trade or is he just an “idiot”? [Media Matters, Sept. 23]