Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Jake watches in glee as Charlie fucks the shit out of his latest girlfriend.

American Idol (Fox)
Semifinalists sing “Fuck tha Police” during NWA Tribute Nite.

30 Rock (NBC)
Jack tells that fucking cunt to shut the fuck up.

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Hilarity ensues when New York Post columnist Kirsten Powers is invited to race-bait the New Black Panther Party on Fox News — but forgets the script she was handed before the segment!

Megyn Kelly Flips Out At Fox Contributor In Effort To Push Faux Scandal About New Black Panther Party [ThinkProgress]

Our guest columnist this afternoon is Ryan J. Murdoch of Ashland, New Hampshire.

I am running as a candidate for state representative in Grafton County District 8. I am running as a Republican, but I have been endorsed by the American Third Position. I am also the American Third Position state chairman of New Hampshire. The American Third Position is a political party that stands for the interests of white Americans.

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Crackpot “plans on raising over eight million dollars for the 9-11 Christian Center at Ground Zero”:

“I watched in disbelief… as they announced the Muslims would be building a $110 million mosque just a few blocks from where their Muslim brothers perpetrated the greatest act of terror on U.S. soil in history,” writes [Bill] Keller on the Christian Center’s official website. “After I got over being angry, I got on my knees in prayer. I knew God was calling me to do something, but what?”

• Swallow.
• Turn toward Mecca like you’re supposed to.
• Declare that Paul the Octopus is the Antichrist.

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There’s more ugly news out there if you’re not yet sufficiently bummed, but Sandy Eggo is enjoying its first sunny day in more than a week (we’re deducting the overcast from the rent), and damn if we’re gonna let the happy-happy-joy-joy get away from us:

Today is the 50th anniversary of the Etch A Sketch. It was invented in the late 1950s by André Cassagnes, a Frenchman, who named it L’Ecran Magique (the magic screen). The Ohio Art Company bought the toy in 1959, renamed it Etch A Sketch, and launched it onto the American market on July 12, 1960.

That’s right: The Etch A Sketch is French. We’re calling it a Freedom Scribbler from now on.

Etch A Sketch turns 50: amazing art created with the drawing toy [Telegraph UK, via PourMeCoffee]

Image: Salvador’s Deli by Jeff Gagliardi

“A 37-year-old man shot and killed five individuals as well as injured four others in a mass shooting at a Southeast Albuquerque business late Monday morning, according to police… The shooter had a self-inflicted gunshot wound.” [KRQE]

Cleveland comic book author Harvey Pekar dead at 70 [Chronicle-Telegram, via Weigel]

Cleveland comic-book legend Harvey Pekar dead at age 70 [Cleveland Plain Dealer, via Tom Tomorrow]