Our guest columnist invites you to fuck on its products.

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So Mitt gets all social, paying some geek tool to program an Instamitt app, and it’s really cool! You just take a picture with your iPhone — we chose our Darth Maul mug — select one of the delightful app-provided overlays, and upload it to Twitter!

Hmmm… On second glance, maybe that geek wasn’t such a tool after all.

Romney Campaign Releases “With Mitt” iPhone App, Misspells “America” [BuszFeed]

Amercia Is With Mitt! [The Inevitable Tumblr]

You can enjoy Mitt Romney being a fool for sucking up to Donald Trump. You can also enjoy Donald Trump being a fool with Wolf Blitzer. Or you can enjoy Wolf Blitzer being a fool for even talking to Donald Trump. Hey, we’re easy.

But since Trump mentions it…

The Honolulu newspaper birth notices were placed by the State of Hawaii, not the parents. We’ve only been humping that fact for three years now.

[via TPM]

WSJ’s Phil Izzo:

49.1%: Percent of the population that lives in a household where at least one member received some type of government benefit in the first quarter of 2011.

Cutting government spending is no easy task, and it’s made more complicated by recent Census Bureau data showing that nearly half of the people in the U.S. live in a household that receives at least one government benefit, and many likely received more than one.

The 49.1% of the population in a household that gets benefits is up from 30% in the early 1980s and 44.4% as recently as the third quarter of 2008.

Not counted: Millionaire tax breaks, millionaire tax brackets, Social Security/Medicare limitation, mortgage deductions, corporate subsidies, federal sweetheart contracts…

Number of the Week: Half of U.S. Lives in Household Getting Benefits [WSJ]

Our guest columnist is starved for attention.

That’s what he told the literary agent. That’s the way life works… He didn’t know he was running for president, so he told the truth. The literary agent wrote down what he said… He said he was born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia… Now they’re saying it was a mistake. Just like his Kenyan grandmother said he was born in Kenya, and she pointed down the road to the hospital, and after people started screaming at her she said, “Oh, I mean Hawaii.” Give me a break.

Mitt Romney’s New BFF: Donald Trump [Daily Beast, via Political Wire]

Dine With The Donald [MittRomney.com]

We have no idea who Paula Deen is, or why the Interwebs have taken a liking to animated GIFs of her Riding Things, but in contemplating how to mark the occasion of Stinque Post #6,000, she was all we could think of.

[via Know Your Meme]

Left to right: Tasha Reign, star of “Baby Got Boobs 8” and “Farm Girls Gone Bad”; Bill Clinton, 42nd President of the United States; and Brooklyn Lee, winner of AVN’s “Best Sex Scene” award for “Mission Asspossible”.

Bill Clinton Surrounded by Porn Stars in Monaco [TMZ]