As a Stinque Customer Service, we clicked all over the damn place to find the unbleeped version of Sam Jackson’s new “Wake the Fuck Up”. You’re welcome!

Mittslide! goes Mainstream!

Fox & Friends: The Polls Are Rigged! [TPM]

Our guest columnist is running out of options.

Dear friends and family, I have been extremely frustrated with how things are going in our country. A lot of my frustration is because I don’t know what to do to really make a change. Well, this time I do. I am asking you to join me and my family on Sunday Sept. 30 by fasting and praying for Mitt Romney. That he will be blessed in the debates, which will be held starting Oct. 3rd. I know that seems like such a small thing but I believe “from small things, great things can come about”. I know that fasting and praying brings about miracles. I also know of no power greater than our Father in Heaven.

He loves this land and has blessed it many times before… with all our fasting and prayers there will be a great power and protection upon us and this great nation. May we have the faith to fast and pray for the help we so desperately need throughout this great nation at this time.

Mormons Plan To Fast For Romney [BuzzFeed]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HjDCHbtXHQ

“President Obama and I both care about poor and middle-class families,” says Mitt, hoping to Kolob that you don’t remember that other thing he said.

Ad Seeks to Show Romney’s Compassion [WSJ]

“Reportedly, [Paul Ryan] has been marching around his campaign bus, saying things like, ‘If Stench calls, take a message’ and ‘Tell Stench I’m having finger sandwiches with Peggy Noonan and will text him later.'” [Politico]

Update: Politico’s Roger Simon tells BuzzFeed the story was a satire…

“Some people always don’t get something, but I figured describing PowerPoint as having been invented to euthanize cattle would make the satire clear. I guess people hate PowerPoint more than I thought.”

Or maybe, just maybe, Stench/Gilligan made perfect sense for a campaign that can’t tie its shoelaces without tripping over itself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgnyZdClTpM

Not since Ralph Nader romanced a parrot have we seen such an awesomely awkward third-party ad.

[via TPM]

Our guest columnist challenges you to read its entire press release without snorting coffee.

A world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable, says Britain’s National Pig Association. But British supermarkets can protect consumers from shortages and steep price rises if they pay Britain’s loss-making pig farmers a fair price, to help them remain in production.

New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests.

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