BREAKING NEWS; The ORE Duck head is missing. While skydiving today, it came loose & plummeted to earth. A search is ongoing. No joke.

— Chris Fowler (@cbfowler) November 16, 2012

We have been in frequent correspondence with four separate people in Eugene today — three of them on campus — and nobody has brought this crisis to our attention.

Also, we’re laughing our ass off.

UPDATE: A campus source informs us that the Duck Head has been found. Probably doesn’t smell any worse than usual inside.

“If all 47 million food stamp recipients voted for President Obama, it would account for 75.4 percent of Obama’s 62.3 million votes.” [CNS News]

Maine Republican Party Chairman Charlie Webster: “In some parts of rural Maine, there were dozens, dozens of black people who came in and voted on Election Day. Everybody has a right to vote, but nobody in (these) towns knows anyone who’s black. How did that happen? I don’t know. We’re going to find out.” [Portland Press Herald, via Political Wire]

Fox News Captions Footage Of Illegal Border Crossings With ‘The Hispanic Vote’ [ThinkProgress]

Poker addict William Bennett: “How else can we explain that more young people now favor socialism to capitalism?” [CNN]

Our guest columnist failed to consult the American Republican party before writing this story.

Two investigations are under way into the death of a woman who was 17 weeks pregnant, at University Hospital Galway last month.

Savita Halappanavar (31), a dentist, presented with back pain at the hospital on October 21st, was found to be miscarrying, and died of septicaemia a week later.

Her husband, Praveen Halappanavar (34), an engineer at Boston Scientific in Galway, says she asked several times over a three-day period that the pregnancy be terminated. He says that, having been told she was miscarrying, and after one day in severe pain, Ms Halappanavar asked for a medical termination.

This was refused, he says, because the foetal heartbeat was still present and they were told, “this is a Catholic country”.

Woman ‘denied a termination’ dies in hospital [Irish Times]

“State Rep. Jerry O’Neil, R-Columbia Falls, is spooked enough about the country’s fiscal picture to request that his legislative pay come in the form of gold and silver coins.” [Daily Inter Lake, via Political Wire]