Hey Everybody! The Pope has made the landmark decision that the Catholic Church now approves of the use of condoms:
when the sole intention is to “reduce the risk of infection” from Aids.
So, I’m going to celebrate this Saturday night, by putting on my first rubber and sexing a woman with it. Actually, I’m going to have sex with a needle-sharing gay African man, so that I can make sure I am reducing my exposure to AIDS and then I can still go to Heaven when I die.
This also means that the risk of exposing both Priests and altar boys to the disease will be greatly reduced. Party on, Pope!