So simple, yet so easy to screw up …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWmvfUKwBrg

I’ll probably go through 8 or 10 eggs practicing this weekend. But they’ll all be eaten – I practice on my doorman and the rest of the building staff.

[Buy at DespairWear]

“Louisiana state Rep. Henry Burns (R) has introduced a bill in the Louisiana House that would allow churches to institute a ‘security plan’ enabling congregants with concealed weapons permits to carry guns into churches and temples.” [TPM]

So we’ve got a major oil spill, a failed terrorist bombing, Leno bombing at the White House Correspondents Dinner, even Rent Boys terrorizing good Christians — what’s left?

Oh:

Powerful thunderstorms across the Southeast over the weekend drenched the region with heavy rains and left at least 24 people dead in Tennessee, Kentucky and Mississippi, including 10 people in the Nashville area. Though the rain tailed off late Sunday night here, runoff continued to pour into the Cumberland River, which crested at 51.8 feet on Monday evening.

By Tuesday morning, the water level had already fallen by a foot and was expected to fall by another 11 feet in the next 24 hours, according to Kris Mumford, a public information officer for the Nashville Metro Police Department.

Read more »

Do you have your script, Senator? No? Well, heck, just use the old one:

It would have been a serious mistake to have read the suspect in the attempted Times Square car bombing his Miranda rights, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said Tuesday…

“Obviously that would be a serious mistake… at least until we find out as much information we have,” McCain said during an appearance on “Imus in the Morning” when asked whether the suspect, 30-year-old Faisal Shahzad, a naturalized American citizen from Pakistan.

“Don’t give this guy his Miranda rights until we find out what it’s all about,” McCain added.

Thank you, Senator. How about another take without specifics? That way we don’t have to call you in the next time.

McCain: ‘Serious mistake’ if car bombing suspect was Mirandized [The Hill]

Coochie Ken relents: “I cannot believe that joking with my staff about Virtue being a little more “virtuous’ in this antique version has become news. This is simply a media-made issue that has become distracting to the work of my office. I am going to end this distraction by discontinuing future use of the pin.” [ThinkProgress]

Glenn Beck would like you to know that Mother’s Day is a communist plot:

Our sponsor this half hour is the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. Vermont Teddy Bear is getting ready for Mother’s Day weekend.

Can you believe Mother’s Day week— By the way, Sarah and I were talking on Saturday and she didn’t believe me, or it was on Friday, and she didn’t believe me. And I said, Mother’s Day, it’s a scam. It’s a big business scam. And I said, I bet it was started by Woodrow Wilson. Look it up, Sarah. And she didn’t. I said, look it up. She’s like, no, I’m not going to look it up. I said, look it up, I’ll bet you, I’ll bet you. Mother’s Day? Started 1914. Woodrow Wilson. Hate that guy. Love my mom. Hate the holiday.

Now, you could go to Hallmark because Hallmark and Woodrow Wilson would like you to do that. But there’s something new from Vermont Teddy Bear: Three handmade teddy bears in pink, green, and white…

Read more »