So we were thinking of writing something about Douchebag Joe taking a dump on the Constitution (breaking: Sun rises in East), or the Beeb’s election-night spaceship (what? no CNN holodeck?), or Toyota promising that “your safety will continue to be a top priority” (a top priority? not the?), or even Kim Kardashian getting “death threats” from Justin Bieber fans (don’t ask), but then we saw the Cinco de Mayo trailer for the Robert Rodriguez Grindhouse-inspired Machete — which Drudge Junior resentfully calls “An Anti-Government Revenge Fantasy Only the Protected Class Gets Away With” — and there went our evening.

Hey Arizona, Don’t Fuck With This Mexican… MACHETE has some Cinco De Mayo words for you!!! [Ain’t It Cool News]

Update: Fox is pulling down the YouTube versions, so you’re stuck with visiting AICN for the trailer.

Might put aside my dislike of veal for this:

The Family Research Council would like you to know that they don’t know who the fuck boy-renter George Rek— hold on, just found his file on an old IBM XT:

In the past 24 hours FRC has received calls regarding Dr. George Rekers and his connection with the Family Research Council. After reviewing the historical records we did verify that Dr. Rekers was a member of the original Family Research Council board prior to its merger with Focus on the Family in 1987.

Reports have been circulating regarding Dr. Rekers relationship with a male prostitute. FRC has had no contact with Dr. Rekers or knowledge of his activities in over a decade so FRC can provide no further insight into these allegations.

While we are extremely disappointed when any Christian leader engages in the very activities that they “preach” against, it is not surprising. The Scriptures clearly teach the fallen nature of all people. We each have a choice to act upon that nature or accept the forgiveness offered by grace through faith in Jesus Christ and do our best to ensure our actions, both public and private match our professed positions.

And that is that. Next time, pal, carry your own luggage.

FRC On Co-Founder’s Escort Scandal: Bible ‘Teaches The Fallen Nature Of All People’ [TPM]

Christian right leader George Rekers takes vacation with “rent boy” [Miami New Times]

So, what does it take to put tasering on the national agenda? Three hundred deaths? Grandma getting zapped? “Don’t tase me, bro”?

How about a kid running onto the field during a Phillies game?

The Philadelphia Police Department has said that the officer acted in accord with department guidelines, which allow officers to fire their Tasers to subdue fleeing suspects…

Many police officers argue that cultural criticism of the Taser is largely unfounded since its benefits — the relative safety of the device weighed against fewer injuries to the police officer — are greater than the possibilities for abuse.

“We didn’t get this [negative] reaction when nightsticks were used to split heads open, but because of the technology and what it does, the media have really exacerbated the issue of the Taser,” former Boca Raton, Fla. police chief Andrew Scott told the Monitor in 2008.

So we have here a fleeing suspect, who in years past would have been bludgeoned instead of zapped, since he’s clearly a risk to the fat fuck chasing him. Got it.

Phillies fan tasered: Why police are using Tasers more often [Christian Science Monitor, via Raw Story]

Phillies Fan Runs Onto Field, Gets Tased [YouTube]

Gasoline consumption per capita by state, 2008. The baseline appears to be nine barrels per person for “low” states; “high” states count as eleven barrels or more.

It’s a fair criticism to argue that the range of consumption in play is less than the labels suggest, with just two barrels between green and red — although it’s just as fair to argue that the red states consume 22 percent more gas per person than the green states.

But what really catches our attention is this: California isn’t the hands-down winner in the gas derby?

How Much Gas Does Your State Use Per Person? [Infrastructurist, including full map, via Sully]

[Sarah Palin/Twitter]

Our guest columnist this morning is Gene Andrews, 1st Lieutenant, 3rd Marine division, Vietnam.

I have always been proud of my time spent as an officer in the United States Marine Corps. I served in the Republic of Vietnam in 1969 and, while I was certainly no “John Wayne” type, I tried to do my duty to the best of my ability and I did bring all of my platoon out of Vietnam alive.

This past summer, the son of a frend of mine was very ‘gung ho’ about joining the Marines and asked my opinion, which I tried to give as honestly as possible, warts and all. I don’t know if my discussions had any influence on him, but he enlisted, completed all of the pre-enlistment tests and physical exams and went to all of the pre-enlistment meetings. To say the least, he was very excited about serving his country in the Corps.

Shortly before he left Nashville for boot camp, he was told he could not serve his country because he had a Confederate Battle Flag tattooed on his shoulder in an area that would be completely covered by a t-shirt, and certainly by his uniform.

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