We Completely Forgot Whatever It Was We Were Going to Write About

So we were thinking of writing something about Douchebag Joe taking a dump on the Constitution (breaking: Sun rises in East), or the Beeb’s election-night spaceship (what? no CNN holodeck?), or Toyota promising that “your safety will continue to be a top priority” (a top priority? not the?), or even Kim Kardashian getting “death threats” from Justin Bieber fans (don’t ask), but then we saw the Cinco de Mayo trailer for the Robert Rodriguez Grindhouse-inspired Machete — which Drudge Junior resentfully calls “An Anti-Government Revenge Fantasy Only the Protected Class Gets Away With” — and there went our evening.

Hey Arizona, Don’t Fuck With This Mexican… MACHETE has some Cinco De Mayo words for you!!! [Ain’t It Cool News]

Update: Fox is pulling down the YouTube versions, so you’re stuck with visiting AICN for the trailer.


I just watched this at work with the sound off (so no judgment on DeNiro’s Texican), but let me say….aweseome!

Also, does RML do his own stunts?

A post on the British elections would be great. Look at these rules for what you can and can’t do at polling places: bring your doggies (yes, they’ll even hold them for you), use pen or pencil, show up drunk, bring your kids, wear your jammies – just don’t be a “major royal”, that’s a total no-no.

I saw a pollster on the Beeb last night who looked like the crazy scientist from the Back to the Future flicks. If I catch his name tonight I’ll google a snap of him – he’s got like five hairs on his head that all sproing out like a Seuss character.

@Nabisco: I wonder what the immigrant-hating index is in England vs here in the colonies. Setting aside for the moment whether the First Nations people do, or should, hate the colonists.

So wait, is Robert Rodriguez filming “Machete” or not? I’ve been pining for this movie ever since watching the trailer before “Planet Terror” in the theaters. When I heard (waaay back) that Rodriguez was thinking about actually filming it I was psyched. Last I heard it was going to be a direct to DVD release (which is fine… I just want to see it!)

Keep the sound off. Worst.Fake.Texas.Accent.Evah!

But lookie! Austin!

How are Mexicans the protected class? Oh, I get it now. Bitpart means you can’t abuse’em like the “good” old days.

Looking at it from a furriner’s eyes, the one thing that always disturbed me about Kalifonya was the day workers lined up to wait for someone to pick’em for work. Something just doesn’t seem right about it, but I can’t put my finger on it.


in they say there are no accidents dept:

mornin kids! the last i left you i was spitting blood, then a miracle happened. some friends stopped by last night. a woman in tow who i hadn’t met before was along. she has just opened a riding facility with 4 horsies. you know i love me some horsies. anyway, i’m hired. oh joy oh joy! then as we were sitting out on the deck, my head already hovering above my neck, we hear a kitten crying. i look down over the rail, and there is a tiny starving kitten staring up at us and crying. WELL.
i ran down with a bowl of food only expecting to leave it there, feral cats, even kittens are petrified by humans (why they’re smarter than us)
this kitten came running to me and dug in all the while letting me pet her.
and purred! unheard of! she followed me around while i made a bed for her in the pool house bathroom and placed dishes of water and food.
she ran in purring all the way, kneaded the bedding then all skin and bones of her climbed into my lap. she was as hungry for love as food.
i have a new cat and 4 horsies. my ragged soul is at ease.
i named her NEO…the one. and today is my 11 year anniversary with the bastard…we are going to gallop the horsies!!!!!
the aryan nation will have to wait.


For some reason, I am reminded of the WB Cartoon: “Feed the Kitty.”

@baked: From the land of serendipity, congrats on yours, Baked. In lieu of biscuit love, I’m a hankering for a kitteh myself.

Oh and happy 11th! Me and the Ma celebrate 14 this year, sadly we’ll be apart with a slightly later meet up in the works for the land of Picasso.

omg thats amazing.
I found another amazing trailer yesterday. I have no idea how the movie will be but the trailer is great:


@Serolf Divad:
rotten tomatoes says sept. 3, 2010 – wide.

@ManchuCandidate: @Nabisco:

thanks guys! thanks serendipity! or is there really a god? a god who got sick and tired of my wailing over sergio. it was very distracting!

@Capt Howdy:
i’ve been meaning to tell you how much i enjoy your style of writing…like mine! if it were a font, it would be called “sloppy”
right before you came on the scene i was pondering the necessity of the apostrophe. i love that you “dont” use them. terrorist fist bump, howdy.
content! communication! (the grammar nazi’s are clutching their pearls)


How sweet! I’m so happy for you and kitty.

I did find a new avatar for you yesterday. If you don’t want it, it’s all mine-HA!


totally. we differ only in my vain need to capitalize “I”.

we dont need no stinking apostrophes

@Original Andrew:

awsum. go Ruthie


milestone night at my house last night. my new kitty, Jedi, who I have been leaving to his own devices and letting him get used to the situation came in and joined the rest of us on the sofa last night.

a first. up until now he has only appeared when the dogs were outside.

@Original Andrew:
running late..i WILL take on word press and gravatar later!!!
thank you so much OA!!
(people i annoy for tech help–brace yourselves–i must have it!!)

@Capt Howdy:
congrats JEDI !…the Cats must have had a meeting yesterday.

just got this email:

We are pleased to invite you and encourage any and all of you to help us with our first Facebook game called Hospital Town.

is it just me or does this not sound like a lot of fun?

@baked: Kitty was looking for a base to run her evening patrols from.

@Nabisco: Do my own stunts? Shit, on a bad day I’m dragging my right leg behind me like a stump. The doc said to come back in six weeks to see how the busted wing and chingered up knee are doing. Still hitting the gym and eating my salads, though.

Cool about Machete. Not bad for a character who originally appeared in “Spy Kids”.

@Capt Howdy: HospitalTown will be lots of fun! Send the uninsured packing out of the ER with gaping open wounds and infections, charge folks with health insurance 14 bucks for one Tylenol, bribe every Republican Senator, and make annual profits in the double digits!

@baked: Yea to Neo the Kitteh! Yea to horsies! Yea to not freaking out about the Aryan Nation today! ADD: I had to switch my avatar to RBG…at least for a few days.

@Original Andrew: That article (and photo) were the best.

T/J: in my day job, I’m working on the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Guess what big oil company was responsible for containing oil spills in Prince William Sound in 1989? And was totally unprepared despite having told the Coast Guard they had trained cleanup personnel on duty 24/7 and marine resources 5 hours away? Yep, the same company that greased the MMS into letting them drill in 5,000 feet of water in the Gulf without a blowout plan. Does it seem like they are making shit up as they go along? That’s because they are. The plan du jour is to drop a 100-ton concrete condom over the broken, gushing pipe, 5,000 feet underwater. Talk about going down!

@baked: I am sooo happy for you and Neo! My kitties have all found and adopted me, rather than the other way around. Neo chose well. Have fun riding the horsies.

Oh, and the legal dept at 20th Century Fox stumbled in to work and asserted copyright, so no video for me.

@Dodgerblue: I have visions of the concrete condom being launched out of the ocean like a missile with the pressure of the oil gusher behind it.

@baked: Great news. Yay. And may I be the first to congratulate you on your poolhouse having a bathroom, princess? Awesome.

BTW. I thought this was pretty good.

@Nabisco: Speaking of the UK elections, Headline of the Day Award goes to the Guardian:
Hung parliaments can have happy endings

@Mistress Cynica: Parliaments can also be Long and Rump.

@SanFranLefty: That is my guess for what’s going to happen. I hope CNN is there to film it. “There she blows!”

@Mistress Cynica: They pulled it from YouTube, but AICN smartly has a copy of their own.


actually he had 70 acting credits before spy kids including one of my personal favorites Dusk till Dawn.

busy guy. IMDB says he has no less than 19 films in pre or post production or completed.

@Capt Howdy: Yes, but I believe the character first appeared as “Uncle Machete” in the RR “Spy Kids” franchise. Also, Cheech Marin, Carla Gugino, Alan Cumming, and the guy who plays Monk were all in the first movie along with Antonio Bandaras (2001).


must admit. that is the one Rod movie I never saw.

@Original Andrew:

Re: the linked article with the avatar – somebody here should probably fess up, because that Onion article reads like they’ve got Stinquers ghostwriting for them. :)


“I’m beginning to wonder if you really understand what ‘abridging the freedom of speech’ means at all,” said Stevens, a 34-year veteran of the court known for his often-nuanced interpretations of the First Amendment. “I’m also wondering whether you and your fat-faced plaintiffs over there need to have some respect for constitutionally protected expression fucked into your empty hick skulls.”

@Original Andrew:

OA, et al, i appeal to you—how do i make ruthie my avatar?

@baked: Go to gravatar.com. Log in and go to account settings. Select the pic you want. Or upload if needed. Update. Flush your browser cache. V. important. Return to Stinque. Enjoy groovy new avatar. If it doesn’t show up blame noje and accuse him of some perverse grudge. Retire to poolhouse with Neo.

thank you so much dearest. the problem lies in my inability to log in to gravatar. they won’t recognize my username or password. i don’t know why. it even took nojo some time to get me off the camel.
but i’m working it! waiting for new passcode, and they’re taking their good old time about it. thanks again…i’ll be sitting here a while and cursing. kisses.

@baked: I’d hoped the iPad might have resolved some of these control issues of noje’s but… Stay warm.

In end-of-the-world news we have poppoes blooming here!! Poppies!!! Poppies don’t bloom till the end of May. Their peak is Memorial Day. But there they are blooming. Ahead of the aliums, though they’re pretty far along too. I don’t know what to make of this but it’s not good. It seems that the seasons have shifted two full weeks ahead here. If you’re all still thinking about the ark we have a very good well and a spring-fed well-house up the hill. I’m just saying. Not so much fresh water at sea.

@baked: I had the same problem for the longest time. I couldn’t remember what version of nabisco I had used for my account, couldn’t access my various permutations of CheElvis that tracked me throughout the years even back to Brand W. So I just created a new account, under my IRL email, which was already stinque linqued, and voila! New gravatar courtesy of Sam Hurt.

ADD: @Benedick: Dammit, I knew that my smug removal to the tropics in the middle of Snopocalypse would come back to bite me in the arse when you started talking about your Spring bloom. And as far as the Ark – I think we have an open slot for Designated Masseuse to be filled.


Yes, but what gender should this masseuse be? There’s the rub…

@baked: I am so happy for you!

Last July our 15-yr-old cat died. Mr. L grieves very greatly (and so do I) whenever one of our cats dies. Josie’s death left us catless. We told ourselves that when we had cleared the house of its 36-year accumulation of stuff and sorted the treasures into findable order, then and only then would we find two kittens to amuse us and comfort us in our old age. (The house is so crowded with stuff that the kittens could hide from us forever if they so chose if we got them before the great sort-and-pitch.) However, this past year has been largely devoted to two marathon sessions of round-the-clock care for Mr. L while he recovered first from hernia surgery and next from some debilitating virus, possibly H1N1, from which, damn it, he and I were supposed to have some immunity on account of our age. So-o-o, the house is still in dreadful disarray and we are badly in need of kittens. Maybe some will find us! Your story gives me hope.

Update on my very own RB’s present condition: He no longer needs to be helped to get from one chair to another or to the bathroom and we have actually taken a few walks outdoors (very short) with him assisted only by his cane. Hooray! For a while there, we both feared he might have arrived at the bedridden stage of Parkinson’s disease

Nature note: Siberian iris are blooming in my front yard today.

@lynnlightfoot: Ms. Foot, give a holler if you need Stinque Movers and Removers to come and give a hand for the cleanup. I always enjoyed helping friends move, when did that tradition go away?

@lynnlightfoot: I second Nabisco – I have a touch of the OCD and a bad case of anal retentiveness – a friend of mine is a total packrat and when I visited her recently and was alarmed that the camera crew from Hoarders was going to show up at any moment, I had a Come to Jesus moment with her about it and proceeded to spend the next day and a half helping her go through shit and to put into one of four categories: toss, recycle, donate, or keep organized. She had stacks of newspapers going back five years, unopened birthday presents, Easter decorations out (this was in January), and by the end of the rampage we had five garbage bags full of stuff to donate, more recycling of newspapers than you can imagine, two trips to the dumpster with crap, and a small pile of things to keep.

It is so freeing to liberate yourself from stuff. I counted it up recently and I’ve moved something like 14 times since 1995. I got used to moving so much that I never had much more in possessions than what could fit in the trunk of a sports car, plus all Ikea furniture that I can disassemble blindfolded. My current place is the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere since I was a child. Mr. SFL and I live in a very very small place, we compare it to living on a boat. If we bring any new item home, our rule is that a similar if not bigger item must leave. I cherish my consumable experiences of which I will always have memories and that nobody could ever destroy or take away from me – friends, travel, arts, books read, culture, food, and wine – rather than attach myself to things. Perhaps my Zen attitude is a good attitude to have when you live in Earthquake Country and you never know when all your shit could be gone. The only “thing” in my house that I would grab if there were a fire/bomb attack/earthquake would be the little box that holds my pupster’s ashes.

And: Sending you and Mr. L lots of hugs. I hope that there is someone who comes to the house to give you a hand so that you can go get a breather from time to time?

@SanFranLefty: @Nabisco: Thanks for the moral support. It’s much appreciated. Now that I can operate with some independence again, it’ll be possible for me to reduce the quantities of printed matter hemming us in. Finding the necessary resolution to sort out what books to keep and which to donate to the Friends of the Library Bookstore has been the biggest problem. I can’t let that cut into my reading time, for chrissake, and what if I should become snowbound? and wanted to read some of the books (or the old New Yorkers) I had given away? I have been tempted to get a sign for the house that reads “Lightfoot Lair and Library.” And that’s just my share of the problem. It’s better if I don’t get myself started on my spouse’s tendency to put things (any kind of thing) down, put other things on top of them (in unstable piles), and never, ever, look through the piles again unless he suspects a pile might contain something he has lost track of. I’m beginning to gibber already, so I’ll stop.

i’m always so happy to see you, and so glad mr. L is making progress!

my rule is “when in doubt, throw it out”
also, have 3 huge boxes marked, trash, donate, keep. i have moved 8 times in the last 11 years alone, and never lived anywhere longer than 4.3 years. the last move, i parted with some books (GASP) it was hard, but i had to do it. i kept favorites, and that is too much, but it’s ok!

the sooner you do it, the sooner you’ll have kitteh’s to play with, great motivation!
i do believe our pets find us, like cynica said. i didn’t know her collection formed that way. but don’t sit around and wait for kitteh to knock on the door. get one or two from the shelter, then wait for the knock on the door. i too wish i lived close by to help. GOOD LUCK !!!! xo


can you stand to watch “hoarders?” i can watch for 5 minutes til i get ill.
did you see the rotten food episode? uugghhhh.

@baked: I can’t watch it because it reminds me to much of this dear friend and a close family member, as well as bringing back unpleasant childhood memories of my mentally ill grandmother’s trailer.

my bookcases are ikea…i’ve had them forever…love’em.

@lynnlightfoot: Glad to see that you’re getting some time and that the Mr is able to get outside. We’ve been having a spectacular spring and I hope you have too. The flowering trees were particularly beautiful and now all the spirea I put in last season are covered in white foaming blossom as is a viburnum which has never flowered before and is now in its 5th year. Turns out to have an intricate open white bloom that is particularly good beside the old white lilac. I don’t have siberian iris – yet – though I covet them. I do have a lot of species and old-fashioned flags which are planted in and around streams and the pond. Seeing your comment on the iris made me man up and finally order the Hyperion. I found a site that had them very reasonably so I bought a lot.

We’re never moving from this house. If the time comes that we have to flee the country, everyone gets in the car and then I torch it. I am not packing all this crap again.

why do you think i posted the notice in the clubhouse?
i can’t move again.
benedick, post pics! we should have a flower jam! you too lynn!
i love iris, but they only last a week, maybe two. the black eyed susans i planted for the window boxes are not coming up. all the seeds here turn out duds. even the herbs are struggling. the one thing i keep forgetting to pick up in miami. we can’t order anything here. and i lurve anemones, my first choice for the window boxes, but go find them.
the seeds from amsterdam are doing great!

gravatar STILL has not sent me a new passcode. fucking retards.

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