Meanwhile, Stinque exclusively reports that Antonin Scalia was devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas. Check back for exclusive updates!

EXCLUSIVE: U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Considering Stepping Down [Radar]

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My name is Kesha Rogers, and I just won the Democratic nomination for Congresscritter in Texas.

I’m also batshit crazy:

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Just because you lost the Super Bowl is no reason to get all pissy about it:

Fed up and fired up, an increasing number of Indiana residents who have lost confidence in the government are going to extreme measures to claim they are “sovereign citizens.”

By doing so, residents contend that they no longer have to pay taxes, claiming their homes as embassies and using identification cards that show them as diplomats…

“It gives me diplomatic immunity,” [Donald] Moore said, referring to the ID card. “The way I understand it, the federal government is incorporated, and all the states are incorporated. This takes me out of the corporation.”

Fools. Everyone knows that in America the only way to escape paying taxes is to be filthy rich.

‘Sovereign Citizens’ Claim Immunity From Ind., Federal Law [IndyChannel, via ThinkProgress]

California gay hate icon Roy Ashburn demonstrates his winning hand job technique before voting in favor of more gay hate laws.

California Republican State Senatory Roy Ashburn built his career raging against homosexuals, joining the GOP chorus of hate, fear and genocidal rage that the RNC had cultivated for decades.

That is, when Ashburn wasn’t driving around shitfaced and cruising gay bars looking for men who would have sex with a hypocritical fascistic asswipe like him.

The family values father of four and husband was apparently taking a break from condemning godless sodomy by pursuing some godless sodomy for himself, arrested with an as yet unnamed man Ashburn apparently scooped at a tavern for homosexuals in Sacramento.

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The next time “homegrown terrorists” attack Bossier Parish, Louisiana, the volunteers of Operation Exodus will be ready. We certainly feel safer knowing they’re 1,568 miles away.

‘Operation Exodus’: Louisiana Sheriff Taps Locals For Emergency Security Plan [TPM]

Operation Exodus Emergency Plan Unveiled [Bossier Sheriff’s Office]

[Politico]

Gentlemen, start your engines — the London Sperm Bank is in desperate need of, um, deposits:

The bank is looking to answer the British Fertility Society’s call for clinics to invest in dedicated recruitment programmes to address a national shortage of donors.

As a result, the Colchester consultancy was tasked with designing a brand identity as well as a dedicated website which raises awareness of the banks role within the wider community.

Yes, the new logo certainly raises our, uh, awareness. Can we get that on custom checks?

London Sperm Bank brand designed by Silk Pearce [The Drum, via Daring Fireball]

London Sperm Bank