Dog Bites Man


I went to a wedding on Boca Grande the November before last. Nice place.

@redmanlaw: Boca Grande was the only place where I ever encountered a real live “locust valley lockjaw” accent, the Thurston Howell accent, the jaw does not move, the words are pushed out through a clenched jaw. I was in the fish market part of the big restaurant just over the bridge from Boca Grande, and the lady behind the counter was asked by a grande dame, what was this fish, “monkfish,” and the kid behind the counter said its a flavorful fish, they call it “poor man’s lobster,” at which Grande Dame simply raised her nose and sniffed, and Thurston mumbled “poor man’s Lobster, how interesting.” They were physically repulsed at the idea this was something poor people would eat, and quickly evacuated the premises where poor people’s provisions were on sale.

I’m waiting for the video of Michael Steele rapping the power point presentation to appear on youtube. I give it 36 hrs, max.

Mock at your peril. I was at the optometrist the other day waiting for Mr. Pedo to finalize his spectacle order when I overheard the guy I’ve bought glasses from for 10 years talking to a new customer.

I’d always thought he projected libtard and probably ghey, but he waxed proudly about the Sarah Palin frames the customer had been admiring, and then went on to encourage her to join the local Tea Party. And it’s an organized thing, the local chapter has a web site and everything.

By the time he started casually enlightening the customer about how we have a Socialist in the White House, and how the Constitution was meant to guard against this type of Tyranny, I was tapping my foot and struggling to keep my mouth shut. I would have grabbed Mr. Pedo’s arm and dragged him bodily from the store, but they had already run his debit card. And now I have to find a different place to get my next pair of glasses. Damn, it was so convenient to dash over there on a lunch hour.

Methinks these Republicans might know something about how to climb back to power. This strategy could be very effective.

Also, did anyone catch Frank Rich’s weekend column? I feel a bit betrayed because I thought he was one of the few op-ed-ists who are usually quite near the mark. But he conflated Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and Ron Paul, making no distinction between them. I feel pretty confident that Palin and Beck share extremely few political ideals with Paul (if they even have any).

@redmanlaw: Hey RML, quick question. Some guy in Tarzana locked himself in his apartment after shooting his girlfriend, then opened fire on the police at the beginning of what turned into a ten-hour standoff. He finally surrendered and was charged with attempted murder, numerous felonies, and two counts of “large capicity weapons magazine activity”. Any idea what that last thingie is?


You mean the kind of people that can’t actually explain what “socialism” is, or why being a “liberal” is bad?

@Original Andrew: Exactly that kind. I was silently screaming, “Do you even know what Socialism is you fucking moran? And don’t even get me started on the Constitution, you really don’t wanna go there!”

But the fate of Mr. Pedo’s eyesight was already in his hands, so I zipped it.

The whole thing started when this bleach-blond nipped and tucked airhead said something to the effect that she wasn’t sure she could afford Sarah Palin’s glasses what with the whole economy being the way it is, and our childruns’ future being mortgaged to pay for healthcare for the poors and such, but what can anyone do?

And I wanted to shout at her, “Fuck you and the Range Rover you rode in on!” but before I even had the chance Dr. Teabag was explaining to her how to access the local Tea Bag web site.

And then she says, “Oh, but I travel so much, I’d really like to get involved, but is there any way to stay in touch when I’m away?”

News flash, fucktardina: it’s called the Intertubes. You can log on to the fucking douchebag website from virtually anywhere!

…as Dr. Teabag patiently explained to her. “There’s events all over the country, we’re everywhere, it’s easy to get involved!”

And sorry for the lack of linque, but Dr. Teabag can’t be that great a webmaster because I can’t find his fucking web site after several minutes of googling. I’m sure it would provide hours of entertainment and third-class suck.


It’s OK; it’d only result in more pounding my head on my desk and my beaten brain couldn’t take it.

@Pedonator: My barber (on Park near the Stinque Remote Office) is something of a Paultard. But he’s a nice old fart, and he’s not Supercuts.

Then again, as you would have noticed the other night, I don’t see him that often.

And does anyone really think that Cruella de Vil, a noted (if fictional) business owner and industrialist, votes Democratic?

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Cali bans high capacity magazines for rifles and pistols. Use of a pistol such as my 9 mm Glock 19 with its manufacturer supplied 15 round mags would be a violation of that particular statute. (I usually load only 10 anyway because it’s a drag to load after about 12 rounds). Separate count for each mag/weapon? Probably.

ADD: You seen X-Men: First Class in the comic stores? I like seeing my original X-Men updated. Also, just finished Gotham After Mightnight. Loved it.

@nojo: See, that’s it. I don’t equate Paultards with Teabaggers. Though there is definitely some overlap.

But Paul actually has a political philosophy, about half of which I agree with.

The Tea Party seems to be a catch-all for disgruntled racists who simply distill US American exceptionalism, want something for nothing, and instead of trying to understand the reasons behind this nation’s unstoppable decline, lash out in an incoherent tantrum of proud and willful ignorance.

The word to watch in future tea baggery vocab is Nullification.
Rick Perry gooberner of texas has already been honking that trend in his campaign ads.

@texrednface: The Utah legislature just passed a statute that purports to give the state the power to exercise eminent domain against the United States. They apparently have disregarded the supremacy clause. One commenter to the story I read said tht he was opposed the the concept of public land, which boggles my mind and a huge fan and user of the federal public lands.

What kind of assholes do they think their constituents are? These people want human sacrifices, wholesale slaughter of minorities, enslavement of the non-rich, snuff movies, re-enactments of the Nuremburg rallies and opportunities to club protected species to death and have sex with their dead, cold bodies.

@texrednface, redmanlaw: For fuck’s sake, can we just let Utah and Texas secede already and have them stop sucking at the teat of the liberal blue states?

Add to TexRednFace: Where in the great state of Tejas are you? So what is the over/under you’re hearing in your hood on the Breck Girl staying in the Senate? My sources in Austin are saying it’s 70% likely she stays.

Back to secession, if it happens, I’ll even sponsor my parents and friends in the Lone Star State for political asylum to California.

/so glad to be home to my laptop, I can now read Nojo’s alt-text and Tweet of the Day which do not show up on the otherwise fabuloso Stinque.Mobile version of the site.

Citizen militia for the fucking retard set. I so want to book seats for when they start target practice. I wonder if they plan on selling tickets and will there be a safe zone for spectators.

@SanFranLefty: I am so glad the primary is over. I did something that no amount of bathing will cleanse. The stink is on me…I crossed over voted in the Republican primary. The more Rick Perry hated on Kay-Bay the more I started loving her. Now that is over I can go back to hating both of them(along with Whitey Cornyn). But there ain’t any dems to love either. They all seem so ineffectual, even Bill White.

I fear that the repubs of texas will find someone even more radical to take Kay’s place. Frankly,I don’t look forward to her stepping down.

@Benedick: You could witness something like this: “A gun instructor accidently shot a student in the foot Saturday during an NRA class to receive certification to carry a concealed weapon, Orlando police said.”

@SanFranLefty: And Tennessee also. Poll: 1 in 10 Tennesseans Claim Tea Party Affilliation. On the other hand, 73 percent of them don’t even have a fucking clue about who is running for governor there.

@texrednface: There’s no shame in crossing over, when there are open primaries like that. In 1996 I crossed over and voted for Buchanan in the GOP presidential primary just to fuck with the party.

I never have hated the Breck Girl, I’ve tried, but she always does something to make me tolerate her again. And she’s so Dallas country club that she can’t do the crazy Jeebus shit if she tried.

@redmanlaw: Probably 90% of Tennesseeans believe evolution is a myth, too.

@redmanlaw: I’m hoping for some serious damage from that 50 mil howitzer. They’ll all be like “Cletus, what’s this yar thingum fur?” BLAM!

@SanFranLefty: I can’t bring myself to ever vote for a Republican, even when the Democrat is corrupt and should be under indictment. I just won’t vote for the Dem, which is the approach I took two cycles ago with our slimy candidate for State Lands Commissioner, who was a former state party chair. I knew his reputation from my political work, but the guy had worked the system and state delegates, who were convinced that “it’s his time.”

Now happily retired from state politics by Gov. Richardson, I got to go skiing a couple of weeks ago instead of going to the county convention. I kept my hat on low and stuck to the walls behind Mrs RML and her campaign staffer friend at a recent fund raiser so I didn’t have to talk to the mayor. There’s other things I need to be doing now.

@SanFranLefty: All my hate right now is focused on Stupak and the 11 other DINOs threatening to block HCR unless fed funding for insurance that covers abortion is banned. I plan to send a haughty note to the DNC informing them that they’ll never see another $25 from me if they give these assholes ANY support in their reelection bids. I’m sure that will do the trick. Perhaps Benedick could also get his people in Pelosi’s amd Reid’s offices on it.

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