Then again, Republicans don’t fold the tables and leave when the news hits:

Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) will not seek reelection — after only one term in office.

According to several House aides on both sides of the aisle, the House ethics committee has been informed of allegations that Massa, who is married with two children, sexually harassed a male staffer.

Massa told POLITICO Wednesday afternoon that no one has brought allegations of misconduct to him.

Well, that’s one of the more vacant denials we’ve heard lately.

Eric Massa to retire amid allegations he sexually harassed a male staffer [Politico]

Update: Massa says it ain’t so:

He said the reports of harassment by a male staffer are “unsubstantiated without fact or backing” and “are a symptom of what’s wrong with this city.”

That’s more like it. Although since Politico is sourcing its story to “several House aides on both sides of the aisle,” we might not have heard the last.

Rep. Eric Massa Says He Won’t Seek Reelection In ‘Final Phase’ Of His Life [TPM]

Meet Alan Frumin. He’s the Senate Parliamentarian. He’s worked there for thirty-three years. He’ll be making the calls whether elements of healthcare reform are qualified under arcane reconciliation rules.

And Republicans have decided to nail his ass to the wall.

No, they have no sense of decency. Why do you ask?

Republicans cast doubts on Senate parliamentarian [Politico]

President Obama: Congress Owes Nation ‘Final Vote’ On Health Care [TPM]

Saint Ronnie’s coming to the Fifty, if North Carolina’s Patrick McHenry has his way. We’d settle for Reagan on a three-dollar bill, just to validate one of our friend’s favorite sayings.

Proposal would put Ronald Reagan’s face on the $50 bill [LAT, via ThinkProgress]

We do our best to ignore Liz Cheney, in part because we haven’t yet figured out why anybody else pays attention to her. But with the release of her fearmongering group’s latest video, impugning the motives of lawyers who defended Gitmo detainees — calling them the “Al Qaeda Seven” — we’re forced to reveal our theory for her prominence:

Liz Cheney is a living Horcrux.

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With DC’s gay-marriage law coming into effect Wednesday, Catholic Charities faced a dilemma: Do the right thing, or act like shitheads?

Hey, don’t get ahead of us:

Starting Tuesday, Catholic Charities will not offer benefits to spouses of new employees or to spouses of current employees who are not already enrolled in the plan. A letter describing the change in health benefits was e-mailed to employees Monday, two days before same-sex marriage will become legal in the District.

“We looked at all the options and implications,” said the charity’s president, Edward J. Orzechowski. “This allows us to continue providing services, comply with the city’s new requirements and remain faithful to the church’s teaching.”

We’d be curious to know whether they previously withheld benefits to Protestants or remarried Catholics, but we don’t have time today to shoot fish in a barrel.

Same-sex marriage leads Catholic Charities to adjust benefits [WaPo]

Is Jim Bunning through with his private elevator rides yet? No? Well, fine. Let’s enjoy some super slo-mo doggies jumping for treats while we wait.

Dems United, Republicans Split, By Bunning Benefits Blockade [TPM]

Talks under way on jobless benefit deal, senator says [CNN]

Back in 2003, GOP Rep. Sue Myrick declared that the danger to America from convenience stores wasn’t their hot dogs, but their owners:

“You know, and this can be misconstrued, but honest to goodness [my husband] Ed and I for years, for 20 years, have been saying, ‘You know, look at who runs all the convenience stores across the country.’ Every little town you go into, you know?”

Well, heck, we were all running around with buttplugs stuck up our arseholes back then. Only Sue couldn’t let it go, doubling down last year with a foreword to WorldNetDaily’s Muslim Mafia book.

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