This is What Happens When Democrats Act Like Republicans

Then again, Republicans don’t fold the tables and leave when the news hits:

Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) will not seek reelection — after only one term in office.

According to several House aides on both sides of the aisle, the House ethics committee has been informed of allegations that Massa, who is married with two children, sexually harassed a male staffer.

Massa told POLITICO Wednesday afternoon that no one has brought allegations of misconduct to him.

Well, that’s one of the more vacant denials we’ve heard lately.

Eric Massa to retire amid allegations he sexually harassed a male staffer [Politico]

Update: Massa says it ain’t so:

He said the reports of harassment by a male staffer are “unsubstantiated without fact or backing” and “are a symptom of what’s wrong with this city.”

That’s more like it. Although since Politico is sourcing its story to “several House aides on both sides of the aisle,” we might not have heard the last.

Rep. Eric Massa Says He Won’t Seek Reelection In ‘Final Phase’ Of His Life [TPM]

He’s sexually harassing a male staffer AND he’s wearing a flag pin. Jesus, what more do people expect from a Congressman?

@Dave H:
Apparenlty, No Homo but diapers are fine in Shitter Vitter’s case (no homo!)

Closeted gay pols? Meh. So 2007. Once you’ve seen the obese fursuit gay Republican pedophile, it leaves you a little jaded. This is hardly even half-a-diaper anymore, and only hits that because it’s a Democrat.

This made my day today. Who says The Tonight Show was never funny? Besides that time I did, I mean.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: That which made your day made mine … thanks.

As for this “scandal” – no toe-tapping, no santorum, no underage boys, no hookers, no … nothing. The Democrats can’t do anything right.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: The Tonight Show was plenty funny through about 1981. And Gobel’s almost as funny as Johnny’s neckerchief.

@Pedonator: I’m re-naming my weenus “Stinky Whizzletooth.”

@nojo: George Gobbel? He was never funny, to me.

@Promnight: it isn’t what Gobel says, it’s the timing that gets me. His comedy is all timing, barely any jokes.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Yes, whether or not you cared for their humor, the old Borscht Belt vets knew their craft. And, as has long been observed, Johnny knew how to sit back and let them milk their moments.


Once again our friends on the loony side of the aisle show us how it’s done. Not perfect, not even historic, no yiffing or choirboys, and no one’s face got cut, but still – drunk driving, family values (four adorable children) and a ‘male companion’ in the car when pulled over after leaving a ‘well-known gay bar’ has to count for something, people.

@Benedick: I love this story. Cue Buck Owens, Streets Of Bakersfield: “You don’t know me, you don’t like me . . . .”


Man, I just stopped by to post this very thing. Gotta start either waking up earlier or going to bed later.

Ashburn – more liek *Ass*burn, amirite? :)

@SanFranLefty: Hey, I thought S.F. was the home of the assless chaps, not Bakersfield. Maybe we’ve learned the real reason that the Bakersfield High School team is called the “Drillers.”

@Benedick: The excitement and sheer glee you communicate whenever there’s a GOP sex scandal truly warms the cockles.

It’s like a Hallmark moment, I instantly picture a cute little boy dancing in a field of flowers, clapping his hands together, while dachsund puppies fly about.

@Pedonator: You pretty much hit the nail on the head. And when we’ve done romping we fill all the birdfeeders while bluebirds perch on the dachshund’s nose and the boxer/pit bull goes inside to throw up what’s left of the mole he ate earlier.

@Dodgerblue: I always thought the whole assless chaps fashion totes provincial, hence much more Bakersfield than SF. But I’m no authority. Catt will cite chapter and worse on that one (wordplay, bitchez. fuccen wordplay!)

@al2o3cr: I was awakened by packing panic which, naturally enough, segued into career panic which is only a hop, skip and a jump away from a full blown bout of night-paranoia. So I got up and read headlines to short-circuit the process.

OMG CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS IS GAY. He’s stepping down to gay marry his boyfriend in Bakersfield!!!!!!!!!! I totally believe every word of this. Was he seen at Faces, too? Was there some kind of closet-case B-side bonking going on? Why will no one issue a denial? WHAT IS GOING ON????!!!!

@Benedick: Of course he’s gay. The Stepford Wife, the adopted children. His willie has never been within a mile of that poor woman.

@Benedick: My dog had the consideration to throw up outside this morning instead of on the hall carpet, and for that I thanked her.

The bass player in my law school band just dropped the bomb on his ex-employer, the New Mexico Secretary of State: ” The former state elections chief is accusing Secretary of State Mary Herrera of soliciting money from firms that contract with her office and ordering ‘exempt’* employees to obtain petition signatures for her re-election campaign.

“In a blistering resignation letter obtained by the Journal on Wednesday, AJ Salazar** alleges that Herrera violated the state’s Governmental Conduct Act as well as election laws. ”

As Mrs RML said upon her election, “well, she just went from messing up Albuquerque’s elections to messing up the entire state’s elections.” Her No. 1 boy mentioned in the article, Don Francisco Trujillo (intentional allusion to minor Spanish nobility) is a simpering little dictator from the ancestral home who was fired from his last job in the private sector as a manager at the motel fka Holiday Inn for naked hot tubbing with a some dudes, as I recall.

* = political hires serving at the pleasure of the governor and not subject to state civil service protections

** who took the SoS job because my candidate the Hispanic lesbian kicked his crazy (pre-existing condition) Iraq War veteran ass for DA. His arrest for shoving his very attractive wife may have had something to do with the loss, but that was after law school.

@Benedick: @Dodgerblue:

ALL chaps are assless, gentlemen. And they are still quite in vogue south-of-market in San Francisco, or at least they were when I was last there (see: Folsom Street Fair, Dore Alley Street Fair).

@redmanlaw: Must be tough to get fired from a Holiday Inn. You have to respect the guy for that.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I actually saw a guy in a Kentucky Colonel getup when I went to Key West.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Last fall on a Sunday evening as the Folsom Street Fair (or maybe it was the naughty little brother of Dore Alley) was winding down, I popped over to the Jamba Juice adjacent to the Castro Safeway for some hydration and protein powder after a soccer game, and as I stood in line with Mr. SFL bitching about how stinquey I smelled, a gorgeous hairless 5’7” Latino/Asian young man stood in line in front of us wearing nothing but a pair of assless chaps ordering a Strawberry Boost to go. Nobody in the crowded Jamba Juice batted an eye. As Mr. SFL and I wandered back to the car, we saw Assless Chap Man cross the Safeway parking lot to wander into the nameless ghey bar on 14th and Church adjacent to the medical marijuana dispensary. It was such a sweet “Only in Ess Eff” moment.

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