Creamy!

As Washington approaches the official deadline for the default of our economy (the massive harm already inflicted will unfold over years and is well under way: Fitch has taken us off A rating to ‘Watch’) we have been alerted to the debate that cuts to the heart of our being.

Do we ‘come’ or do we, as I believe, ‘cum.’

Preference or grammar? Two sentences for your consideration:

A: ‘Did you come in those pants?’ As in, dude, what a fashion statement.

B: Did you cum in those pants? As in, dude, you’ll want to pre-soak.

The debate, masterfully handled by Mr. Dan Savage, rages in the comments at Savage Love. So far it seems that the ‘comers’ outnumber ‘cummers’. This to me is the okay/OK debate reignited. Brits tend to write OK (which I believe to be the correct form so case closed), Americans tend to prefer the pathetically flaccid ‘okay’.

To which I say: Where is the explosion in the word? Is it even a word or does it more properly denote an ejaculation? A verbal ‘cumming’ if you will.

Which returns us to ‘cum’. On Twitter: short is good. (This does not always apply to life.)

My money’s on cum. Pass the towel.

More Spitzer than Vitter despite the (R) after his name:

TALLAHASSEE — State Rep. Mike Horner, a Republican from Kissimmee, abruptly resigned his seat in the Florida House on Monday following reports that he was a client at a Central Florida brothel.

Horner, 44, was a solid favorite to win a third term in District 42 in Osceola and Polk counties. His name surfaced during the investigation of alleged brothel owner, Mark David Risner, 54, who faces racketeering and prostitution charges and is accused of running a prostitution ring out of his Orange County home. Investigators found hundreds of names as they investigated Risner’s operation, and Horner shut down his campaign website shortly after his name was publicized.

Coincidentally, there’s a porn actor called Mike Horner.

Read more »

Then again, Republicans don’t fold the tables and leave when the news hits:

Rep. Eric Massa (D-N.Y.) will not seek reelection — after only one term in office.

According to several House aides on both sides of the aisle, the House ethics committee has been informed of allegations that Massa, who is married with two children, sexually harassed a male staffer.

Massa told POLITICO Wednesday afternoon that no one has brought allegations of misconduct to him.

Well, that’s one of the more vacant denials we’ve heard lately.

Eric Massa to retire amid allegations he sexually harassed a male staffer [Politico]

Update: Massa says it ain’t so:

He said the reports of harassment by a male staffer are “unsubstantiated without fact or backing” and “are a symptom of what’s wrong with this city.”

That’s more like it. Although since Politico is sourcing its story to “several House aides on both sides of the aisle,” we might not have heard the last.

Rep. Eric Massa Says He Won’t Seek Reelection In ‘Final Phase’ Of His Life [TPM]

You will readily admit that so far Cocktober has, well, stunque. It’s only a glimmer, but:

Congressman Virgil Goode (R-VA) arranged a $150,000 Congressional earmark for a non-profit theater with close personal ties to his press secretary and the producer of a movie featuring gay sex scenes and heavy drug use, PageOneQ has learned.

It gets more interesting:

Who knew that Linwood Duncan, the unassuming press secretary for Rep. Virgil Goode (R-Va.), has been dabbling in acting on the side and turns up with a bit part in the new movie “Eden’s Curve”?

Goode’s press secretary acted in a naughty movie.  Jump.

Read more »

Mark Foley’s replacement is on the hook for (a) an affair, (b) a bad break-up and (c) $121k to the mistress in return for her silence.

Hey, Rahm — time to warm up the ejector seat. Kthxbai.

The markets are about to crash.  Tonight’s debate might not happen.  McCain is revealed as a drama queen.  But, my former Cynics, look deep into your souls.  Ask yourselves – what is really, truly important at this dark hour?

Bible-thumping hypocritical pervert preachers of course.

Looks like Cocktober has come early:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) — Evangelist and convicted tax evader Tony Alamo says the age of consent is puberty and there’s a mandate in the Bible for girls marrying young.

“In the Bible it happened. But girls today, I don’t marry ’em if they want to at 14-15 years old,” Alamo said Saturday after federal agents raided his southwestern Arkansas compound and placed six girls into state custody. “We won’t do it, even though I believe it’s OK.”

But authorities don’t believe it’s OK — and now Alamo faces charges he transported children across state lines for sexual activities, in violation of the Mann Act. And so once again, the one-time rock promoter and street preacher that former President Clinton likened to “Roy Orbison on speed” will return to federal court.

I will leave it to you, gentle snowflakes, to rate this one in the comments.  Please use the usual 1-10 diaper rating system.  Plus, Alamo has a hearing today. I think this one is worth keeping an eye on.

Evangelist Alamo Faces Charges in Child Sex Probe [AP]