Radar Exclusively Reports That Its John Roberts Exclusive Was Exclusively Wrong
Meanwhile, Stinque exclusively reports that Antonin Scalia was devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas. Check back for exclusive updates!
EXCLUSIVE: U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Considering Stepping Down [Radar]
Update: Stinque has obtained new information that Antonin Scalia was NOT devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas, but drowned during a tryst with horny manatees.
Update: Stinque can exclusively report that Antonin Scalia survived his manatee three-way, only to succumb later to autoerotic asphyxiation.
Update: Stinque has learned that Antonin Scalia slipped his noose, but the gerbil remains at large inside his colon.
Update: Due to a mistranscription, we misreported the last exclusive update. Antonin Scalia is actually wedged up the gerbil’s colon. Stinque exclusively regrets the error.
Update: What was exclusively identified to Stinque as a gerbil has now been exclusively redescribed as a furry. Antonin Scalia’s position remains unchanged.
Update: Stinque exclusively reports that the furry is Clarence Thomas.
I wonder if he’s visited the Vatican recently.
You know you’re in trouble when the National Enquirer has a better track record.
@nojo: Yeah, well, Radar is not up for a Pullet Surprise.
Sad panda. He’s not getting gay married after all.
Great stuff, Nojo. Everyone counts on Stinque to be out in front with the bestiality angle.
Stinque: All The Gerbils Who Fit, We Print
What a sad excuse for CJ … Roberts should hide in shame.
That website makes me thirsty for pink lemonade.
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MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
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FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
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¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…